Previous Index Next
=============================================================
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 12:35:42 -0500
From: 00bcpalmer
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: a bee in my <pocket>!!!
What would those donkeyloving Sufi Sages have said? What would you saY?
What would that donkey loving Soupy Sales (sp?) have said? Pie in the face?
On the last day of indoctrination/training AKA "training"
seven of us ina van and a bee flies into my pocket .. well
not quite a bee but half a bee sort of half wasp .. unclassifiable, Watson.
Well I'm a compuer gigilo now. Spread your legs,
ladies.
er, laddies .. whatever.
Brent C. Palmer in Sunny California using my old account as long as they'll
let me //.. damn editor!! *&$%$^#
=============================================================
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 02:03:26 -0500
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: izzis email soldier of fortune magazine gottahotoneheah
[Y.T. passed out whilst writing reply to organism whose userid &orgafilliation
slightly obfuscated below are in full originality in version sent to zeekqua
listowner, zeek@bongo.cc.utexas.edu.] Prior to loss of what cannot anylonger
be characterized as consciousness, I'd indeed assumed this party was on
ANTHRO-L, a grownup. At length, 'pon arising, noted he's Lerious; changedtone
accordionly.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 02:12:33 +1200
From: wil@deepthnk.shupolish.kiwi.ltcol.nz (Brooklyn Dodger)
Subject: Re: sorry got to think a lot stranger than that before....
To: "Daniel A. Foss"@shupolish.kiwi.ltcol.nz
Reply-to: wil@dupethrt.shupolish.kiwi.ltcol.nz
Message-id: <9404240842.AA08435@shupolish.kiwi.ltcol.nz>
Organization: Dupe Throat, Auckland, NZ
Why don't you get up off your butt and do something useful instead of
writing alla the addlepated crap you waste your time with-get a
socioecological ethic and act on it.Reading your endless hall of
mirrors,and endless self-dissolving introspection is a pain the ass.
Go feed a few people or something-find a reality and deal to it.
-- Brooklyn
_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ Brooklyn Dodger
_/ _/ _/ Dupe Throat BBS, Auckland, New Zealand
_/ _/ _/ A FirstClass(tm) Macintosh GUI BBS
_/_/_/ _/ Internet: wil@dupethrt.shupolish.kiwi.ltcol.nz
======================================================================== 72
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 94 01:19:54 EDT
From: DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: alla the addlepated crap
To: Brooklyn Dodger <wil@dupethrt.shupolish.kiwi.ltcol.nz>
Resent-Message-Id: <940424.011954.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Sir:
Your most recent offline letter has posed issues of differentiallegitimacy
in exposition of ad-hoc-innovated theory (where my contributions along that
line of alleged-cognitive[1] activity if present are by necessity as well
enciphered as a Victor Sorge dispatch of 1940 intended for Stalin's eyes
only). Transmission of tabooed theory, inclusive of my personally preferred
macrotheory, is [ideologically] counterreal; class impertinence; Symptomatic
behaviour(s) of sufficient gravity to trigger anticipatory-monitoring
defenses; and *un*[Professional], un-what of minor importance relative to
its ltcoleralizedly offensive character of *un*; where *un* in any form, to
notable degree repeated, constitutes ritual defilement of a milieu set aside
for Decent People such as yourself (till elsewise proven) by exploitative
deviants which the screening procedure, invidious status display, exists to
bar from depresingly baleful and noxuous unseriousness, travestying morally
virtuous exercise of cognition, debasement of Standards, and doctrinaire
monotony (as based on knowledge ruled out of existence.
Please get that straight, I did *macrothery*, not socioecology ethics.
If, sir, you just might bring yourself to offer your services as "the
alias of last resort," far be it from me to let one moment elapse before
inundating or at minimum copiously supplying you with manuscript inquantity.
In return you maight it is hoped modify some of the worst *un* language
into sociogibberish acceptable to the small minority I should call "the
panel" and a larger one I may call by analogy "the studio audience." The
great bulk of the listmembership, the lurkers, are in the listening/viewing
audience, peripheralized.
[*** commence maharishi mahesh yogi third state of consciousness here***]
Incapable as I am, You have two viable approaches to get my complying
with your abusive demand, howbeit one not averse to my interest. The first
is to expain to our Complaint Department, which is by happenstance me,myself,
or I -- Insurance coverage requires compliance with grammatical *and*politi-
cal correctness where dubious cases are remanded to the Suffix County Commi-
ssioner of Investigations for Bribe Determination -- just what precisely you
are complaining of or about, where this is not always clear from your text,
with specimen snippets, if any, exemplifying an instance of "somethinguseful"
I may have perpetrated in the Past, unless the Revisionist historians have
got to it before you did, for my guidance as, howevermuch unlikelyseeming,
I do truly mean to please: "The fault my dear Brutus is not in our intention
but in our execution that our Efficiency Reports be marr'd," they say in the
Civil Cervix.
Alternatively, this is your second option that is, you might choose to
write the entire problem up as a major article, publication whereof hereby
guaranteed wherefor in my capacity as Editor In Chief, for Flamewar Soldier
of Fortune. A free subscription has been entered in your name, and the full
text will tuesday next be found in your mailboxes, both cellulose-oriented
and this kind. I'll even go so far as to enter your name, which is unimpor-
tant, and Userid, which is, upon the honour roll of the flamewar training
camp and epic flamewar poetry list, donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu, where
there is no possibility you will ever be expelled for offensiveness; that's
what the list is for. What's worse, to the listowner, saintly fellow known
as zeek@bongo.cc.utexas.edu, is his own inability, thus far, the software
tells him nothing except what's in the Documentation, ruse de guerre, how
to unsubscribe anyone the software refuses to help out by reason of some
stochastic algorithm it hasn't told itself about.
We've been trying "awful hard," as the armenians say, to be "nice," "A
soft answer turneth away J. Howard McGrath," so be hearing from you under
assumption this has mollified you. That's mollified, not mollycoddled; for
a full explanation consult your local Maori.
Sincerely yours,
Daniel A. Foss
=============================================================
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 13:09:36 -0500
From: <LIBALP>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: HENRY JAMES
Dear h760:
Thank you for your recent submission to the Stony Brook Literary
Underground, "HENRY JAMES", herewith enclosed. Regrettably, SBRHYM-L no
longer exists, or is no longer extant, whichever comes first. Did I say
"regrettably,"? I meant to say, "As you know, sometimes things get eaten by
rats, therefore".
We hope to hear from you again.
libalp
Rejection Dept.
=============================================================
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 16:43:59 -0500
From: Merciful Lee Dickens <DICKENS>
Originator: donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu
THE ADVENTURES OF SNIPPY THE BITCH
by M.L. Dickens
In our last episode, Snippy was trying to rescue Skidmark and Speedbump
from the evil clutches of a mysterious cloaked figure who followed them
home from the Laundromat Bar and forced his way into their trailer!
Snippy had crawled under the mobile home and was listening to their
conversation through the cheap plywood floor. Let's join her now, as
we hear the mysterious cloaked figure say, in a voice filled with
dreadful malevolency,
"Alright, yuz little joiks, I know yuz got da rubies and da poils
somewhere in dis dump, and I moana make sure yuz cough 'em up pronto,
or dere's gonna be a couple less punks in dis trailer park heah!"
"But, gosh, mister, we don't *have* any rubies or poi-- pearls!" said
Skidmark.
"We never even *seen* any of them!" shouted Speed Bump, who was com-
pletely sober now.
Below the trailer, Snippy growled.
=============================================================
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 15:14:13 -0500
From: zeek (zeek)
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: DONKIE MACHINE
>is there a digest setting for donkey-l?
No, sorrie.
Donkey is considered by the postmaster (not I) as a "lightweight" list.
Meaning no archives, no digest, no other thingies or stuff as "extras."
There is a history to donkey. Perhaps one of the more rambunctious
members will tell you the story. Donkey is known on the internet
as "the list without a home," and therefore must travel light, swift, and
early in the day.
It is also best that the donkey change it's name every so often.
=============================================================
Date: Tue, 26 Apr 1994 09:43:03 -0500
From: GR4302
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: this list is a toilet for post-post-modern despair at the air
Pictures exhibited, music defined, warped by new minds. As long as
we're on the subject of donkeys, one day the Nasrudin came to me and
I'd never before seen him downcast--he seemed blind. He stumbled up
to me and I grabbed him by the shoulders and bending him back hoisted
his face in to mine. "Maestro," I whispered, "what is it? what??" and
my mind raced to a million fears of what could possibly shake such a
man. His bleary eyes struggled to find mine and then he groaned aloud,
and dropping to his knees puked all over my shoes. When he was through
heaving he spit and muttered one word: "Tequila."
gluten trag,
;5## gr4302
=============================================================
Date: Tue, 26 Apr 1994 06:50:13 -0500
From: H.UNIATZ
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: a reader queries:
On Tue, 26 Apr 1994, Sifte Farooqui said:
>why you are putting this kind of messages to me ?
Well, primarily, Sifte, because you subscribed to this list.
When you did so, the implicit understanding was that messages
would be put to you; did you not grasp this point?
"Hold!", you yell at me, waving a polite hand as you explain that
you didn't object to *messages* being put to you, just this kind
of messages. No need for such precipitation; I was just about to
deal with that issue. The thing is, Shifty, that *particular* message
that was put to you, that was just Daniel. He's like that. You learn
to appreciate the perky, headlong flair of his style, as some of us
eventually did, or you send him homemade incendiary devices, as I do.
We hope you will put messages again.
h760
=============================================================
Date: Tue, 26 Apr 1994 08:10:37 -0500
From: Merciful Lee Dickens <DICKENS>
Originator: donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu
YO: NOT ON SIFTE JUMP
SIMPLE QUESTION WAX
MAKES NOT THE HEAD
TO SHINE HELLO,
HIT ME PLEASE
WILL WE NOT INTO THE PALM
OF SIMPLE QUESTION FROND
ALSO HELLO,
NOT HIT ME PLEASE?
---
I SAY ON SIFTE:
>NOT< HIT ME PLEASE
HELLO ME GOOD YES
GOODBYE ME BAD NO
WE DANCE:
do not putting the stick into
a place of stinging bees
ouch in every tongue the same
AS WE WOULD SAY ON A SPITEFUL CHILD:
"DON'T HURT SIFTE -- LOVE SIFTE"
LOVE,
MERCIFUL LEE
GOOD MAN
=============================================================
Date: Tue, 26 Apr 1994 12:09:40 -0500
Sender: donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu
From: H.UNIATZ
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: FAOISEAMH A GHEOBHADSA
On Tue, 26 Apr 1994, John Marsh said:
>Are these maths?
0.302, John. VCR + Egg-whisk = 0. Stolen Car = - (Trust)^{2}
minus $5 = minus friendie. 3.4254 Sifte 2.12!
We hope you will [10 Write; 20 Goto 10; RUN <real quick>].
love x 1000,
h760
=============================================================
Date: Tue, 26 Apr 1994 12:48:14 -0500
From: <LIBWCA>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: FAOISEAMH A GHEOBHADSA
On Tue, 26 Apr 1994 B.NIFHLATHUIN@uea.ac.uk wrote:
> On Tue, 26 Apr 1994, John Marsh said:
>
> >Are these maths?
>
> 0.302, John. VCR + Egg-whisk = 0. Stolen Car = - (Trust)^{2}
> minus $5 = minus friendie. 3.4254 Sifte 2.12!
>
> We hope you will [10 Write; 20 Goto 10; RUN <real quick>].
>
> love x 1000,
> h760
I would like to determine if the member from Norwich will reveal the
precise number of maths. The public have a right to this information.
I must warn the member from Norwich that, should the information
requested not be forthcoming, I am fully prepared to shake my fist and
cry "Shame! Shame!" until satifaction is obtained. I may even toss
my wig in the air.
Barney T. Devil, MP, OBE
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 09:39:57 -0500
From: Merciful Lee Dickens <DICKENS>
Sender: donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu
DEPLORABLE FOUR-EYED BUG BOY ATTEMPTS A SNIDE REMARK:
>
"...that old redneck man you talk to"
Arthur C.X. Parker
*** Comments from UNBEARABLY SOPHISTICATED; 04/27/94 09:23am:
"That old redneck man you talk to" says Arthur C.X. Parker woefully
transparently. Says Arthur C.X. Parker, "that old redneck man you
talk to", but actually ruminating at the time that he himself resembles
nothing so much as the cartoon "X-ray Specs" guy in the 60s comic book
ads that remain his sole connection with the outside world. "That old
reneck man" now assuming an almost dreamy tug of seductive whimsy in
our disturbed lad's inflamed brain stem. "You talk to" he breathlessly
adds, swallowing with difficulty, glassing fogging, shameful yearnings
now made manifest in physical ways which Cannot Be Ignored.
Pants aswamp, he flees for the protective custody of his disgusting
stained "didee" - a ratty bathrobe with years of encrusted self-abuse -
an image from which we shall now recoil in tasteful abhorrence of the
wretched, twisted worm.
I bid you... harmony
Merciful Lee Dickens
Ridge Dweller
No Swamp
And Preferred Confidante Of Glamorous Souls Everywhere
"We piss anywhere, man"
The Rolling Stones, 1965
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 14:58:16 -0500
From: <LIBWCA>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re:
On Wed, 27 Apr 1994 JLOTTwrote:
> I've just joined this list. Is there a general format for discuswsion?
>
That's a very good question, JLOTT; and the answer is, of course,
"Yes. There is a general format for discuswsion, which is highly
sensitive and not for general insemination." Fortunately for you,
though, there is also a general format for diswcussion, and that
general format is to be found in the Standard Text, "General Format
for Diswcussion and Insemination Among the Donkeys of the Southern
Steppes; or, A Year Among the Dread Naughts," by H.L.C.H Cuthert C.
Cuthbert, M.O.S.G.E. Being a Standard Text, this Standard Text should
be available in any reputable personal library; my own copy was acquired
by first making the acquaintance of a Reputable Person, and then availing
myself of his personable library after rendering him hors d'comeback with
a iced clamming fork. It's also available at exorbitant rates from
Mr. Cuthbert himself; who is, unfortunately, quite dead at the moment,
having left strict instructions that he not be disturbed until the
boring prep work was done and we were ready to begin Ragnarok proper.
If you are unable to locate a copy, remember that you are a child of
the universe, and we can't do anything to you that you don't deserve
anyway; the proper procedure is a carefully cultivated air of sardonic
sub-rationalism, whistling past the graveyard, and a full course of
sharp lefts to the body, no matter how badly it hurts.
Thank you for your kind attention,
Barney T. Devil, S.S.G.U.
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 13:42:43 -0500
From: Merciful Lee Dickens <DICKENS>
Sender: donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu
CORRECTION:
We wish to correct a serious typographical error that has been brought
to our attention. A phrase in the second paragraph, third page, of the
recent Arthur Parker biographical sketch, "Why Shoes Squeak", should
have read "duly filed" rather than "duky filled". The responsible
party has been severely chastised and the irresponsible party has been
"let go".
Appreciative Of All You Young Girls In Your Summer Scanties,
THE MANAGEMENT
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 04:11:14 -0500
From: H.UNIATZ
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: RE: on the D-L (or is it just the injured reserve?)
A short while ago, GR said:
>This swamp now more dismal than the dead night and creeping with
>larger predators more easily resisted. This night wounds a life
>in a new way that gives it impetus to live...and fight, levelling
>new knowledge cross-haired now right between the eyes of the
>suddenly obvious enemy--
You know, sometimes, upon reading GR's posts, I think that someone
should answer him. Then I read them again and I think that it most
certainly shall not be myself. Arthur?
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 08:02:32 -0500
From: <LIBALP>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: RE: on the D-L (or is it just the injured reserve?)
On Wed, 27 Apr 1994 H.UNIATZ wrote:
> A short while ago, GR said:
>
> >This swamp now more dismal than the dead night and creeping with
> >larger predators more easily resisted. This night wounds a life
> >in a new way that gives it impetus to live...and fight, levelling
> >new knowledge cross-haired now right between the eyes of the
> >suddenly obvious enemy--
>
> You know, sometimes, upon reading GR's posts, I think that someone
> should answer him. Then I read them again and I think that it most
> certainly shall not be myself. Arthur?
>
Certainly, my dear...uh, fellow (cleverly playing to that one subscriber
who thought you male; ach, but there you go calling yrself "nice girl".
So much for the zany subterfuge of the olden days. Now: where was I?
Right, gr.).
"Larger predators", yes, well, we all know about *those*, don't we? Heh,
"It's much easier to avoid larger swamp predators such as alligators,
crocodiles, and caimans, than to avoid a bite from a mosquito, gnat, or
other small flying creature," as my grandpappy used to say in his pithy
way. But that's not the issue, is it? No, we're here to talk about the
levelling of knowledge.
The levelling of knowledge, in swamps and elsewhere, happens when
knowledge is found to be, shall we say, more topographical than is
desired by the affected parties. I know what you're going to say:
"Arthur, I've seen the swamp. It's the flattest there is." And I'll
grant you that! But in the field of knowledge, the swamp is one bumpy ride.
Behold, the salt marsh of mediocrity (John), the cat's tails of
aspiration, and the Spanish Moss of glorious enlightenment. Yes, there's
more intellectual variety here in this swamp than you might be led to
believe by talking to that old redneck man you talk to. Sink not! into
the quicksand of underachievement, but pole your way up into some REAL
learning, before the redbugs of distraction find their itchy purchase
under your skin, and you scratch yourself into utter, ignorant oblivion.
Thank you.
Arthur C.X. Parker
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 05:57:53 -0500
From: H.UNIATZ
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: EGGWHISK
On Tuesday 26 April, John Marsh inadvertently divulged:
>Eureka! Well, that clears up quite a bit. No wonder I was having trouble
>getting my egg whites firm wile watching _North By Northwest_ the othernight.
>I had the maths all wrong.
John, my dear young fellow! How've you been? Do you know, almond & ginger
is my favourite flavour of icecream. I think they make it using essence
of almonds and small pieces of crystallised ginger. My favourite icecream
was blueberry yesterday, but it's definitely almond & ginger today. What's
yours? Wait, while I remember, here's fivepence for you; buy yrself some
comics and jellybabies. Okay, you can answer now. This here pause is
for you --
-- but enough of this smalltalk. You have an Eggwhisk as well? And a VCR?
They never told me! Please send me your phone number immediately.
floating air of urgency,
h760,
nice girl
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 03:52:28 -0500
From: GR4302
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: on the D-L (or is it just the injured reserve?)
"It was a mechanized technological disaster, 'twas, 'n it took
us out..from here, from the coun'y line, to the border of
South Carolina.... Never seen anything lak it in mah life,
and never hope to see it again if I kn he'p it...."
"He'p me somebody!--"
This swamp now more dismal than the dead night and creeping with
larger predators more easily resisted. This night wounds a life
in a new way that gives it impetus to live...and fight, levelling
new knowledge cross-haired now right between the eyes of the
suddenly obvious enemy--
Amen, she sighed, and the wind picked up noticably a notch. Smells
like...stormy weather.
Arrested Desire,
;5##
gr4302
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 09:12:44 -0500
From: TIPPY
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Imagine if you will...
..that each post is a panel of a strip with bad color registration as
it might appear in your very own Samedi Funnies. Shuffle the strip(es)
as you would your feet, tired after pounding the pavement vainly seeking
that 'nother day 'nother dollar feeling, and then CUT randomly along
similar lines. Put the pieces into a hat, but not just any hat. Toss into
the wind or "ring," as medical experts like to say when they think you're
not listening. Wait for Joe's reply.
Next, shuffle the *bits*, which have reappeared AS IF BY MAGIC at your feet,
with the toe of your shiny brown shoe. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Place
in shallow pregreeced baking utensil of your choice. Half-bake for 30-35
minutes or until crust is a flaky golden protusion in keeping with previous
subliminal motifs. Serves Joe, but not very well.
No. 6
The Village
_
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 12:21:00 -0500
From: <LIBALP>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: RE: pigskin, crocodileskin, thinskin
On Wed, 27 Apr 1994, John Marsh wrote:
> Understandably enough, (it's difficult to see through), your catalogue
> neglects to mention the slime of smug self-imagined superiority.
>
Understandably indeed, as the slime of smug self-imagined superiority is,
in fact, caterpillar droppings, found on one's shoes only as one traipses
through the steppes of self-perception, where may be found the tallweeds
of insecurity, the briarbushes of epistemological uncertainty, and the
Rocky Mountain Spotted Irony Ticks. Not to mention ants. With fangs,
these ants. I can't blame you for avoiding the place.
Arthur C.X. Parker
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 04:11:31 -0500
From: H.UNIATZ
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: parlimentary procedures
>I would like to determine if the member from Norwich will reveal the
>precise number of maths. The public have a right to this information.
>I must warn the member from Norwich that, should the information
>requested not be forthcoming, I am fully prepared to shake my fist and
>cry "Shame! Shame!" until satifaction is obtained. I may even toss
>my wig in the air.
>
>Barney T. Devil, MP, OBE
Dear Bill,
You're amazing. But that's not why I called:
Mr Speaker, I beg that you should reprimand the honourable member from
the Warehouse most severely. What petty accountancy is this? Is he the
son of a shopkeeper? The number of maths is and always has been an area
of painstaking security. There are Russians in the press gallery. Is it
the intention of the honourable member to jeopardise our women, children,
and birthright? He may make of himself a buffoon as much as he will, he
may holler Paisley-style till we cover our ears, he may strew these benches
with lice, but no such circus will persuade this government to speak.
I thank you,
h760,
Bigger Than You
=============================================================
From: WHIPLASH
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 94 11:19:34 MDT
To: Donkey
Subject: let's try and stay on track here...
I'm very sorry to hear that someone on the list is having
problems of a personal nature. Although I never have any
such problems myself, I understand that they introduce real
difficulties into the lives of those affected, so I really
do sympathize. If I were having such problems, which I
most emphatically am not, my solution would be to masturbate
more often. Then again, could I *possibly* masturbate more
often? It doesn't seem humanly possible. Oh, what the hell,
I'll give it a shot;
...ah! Much better.
I can't recommend homosexuality as an alternative, though.
I tried it, and it was a real pain in the ass. It sucked too.
So I do sympathize. But what does any of this have to do with Bees?
sincerely,
=================================================
Topiary Apiary, PhD. | "Opinions expressed in this message are
Loser Burnout | strictly those of my mother-figure wife
Loser Burnout Industries | who helps me compensate for my quivering
Loser Burnout, FL | spinelessness."
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 19:48:05 -0500
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: saying fuck to a jesusfuck part one chapter 1 of 3
[cutting this into three parts this time as part one did not make it and as
it has become apparent that the origins of the "flamewar training camp"
certain foreign organisms are convinced that donkey-l is remains obscure
to donkey-l, this has to do with an offline letter written to a rather odd
gentleman in Auckland, New Zealand, who rather offensively insisted thatthis
writer drop "addlepated crap" in favor of "socioecological ethic," something
I'm sure the now incurably insane Doctress Neutopia would have grasped
instantly albeit Daniel A. Foss couldn't spare the time from his cluttered
calendar to accommodate the request at that time. In this writer's lengthy
reply, I solemnly promised the following: "I'll even go so far as to enter
your name, which is unimportant, and Userid, which is, upon the honour roll
of the flamewar training camp and epic flamewar poetry list,donkey-l@mcfeeley.
cc.utexas.edu, where there is no possibility you will ever be expelled for
offensiveness; that's what the list is for." Will the Relevant Authorities
please make note of the name, Wilton Rodger; and the Internet address:
wil@deepthnk.kiwi.gen.nz; there's an inebriated followup from Mr JollyRodger
included below, thank you - daf]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 01:47:55 +1200
From: wil@deepthnk.kiwi.gen.nz (Wilton Rodger)
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: REPLY TO DAN FOSS
Reply-To: wil@deepthnk.kiwi.gen.nz
Organization: Deep Thought, Auckland, NZ
As a response to an off-line post Dan Foss writes:
.. so be hearing from you under
assumption this has mollified you. That's mollified, not mollycoddled; for
a full explanation consult your local Maori.
Mr Foss;for the first time we meet in the studio audience,and I would
like to say how different it is there in the united snakes of
armenia,than my country-where we do not try awful hard," as the Americans
say, to be "nice,"--rather where there is bullshit we say that isso-which
for the benefit of all else here on leri is what this warm exchange of
cultural distinctions is about.I wrote to Mista Foss suggesting inmy
own straightforword way that his posts were addlepated.i.e. the line
of argument was about as traceable as Ralph Ellisons famous character.
I went on to suggest that the question of a socio-ecological response
to being alive and well in the 90's might be a useful address for Mr
Foss to turn his not inconsiderable talents toward. . .Unfortunately-
Daniel,'being nice" can be a great way to avoid confront-andsubsequent
potential resolution-or at least a progressive dialectic-which hasnothing
to do with the mundane affair of agreement or harmony.
<<<<<<<That's mollified, not mollycoddled; for
a full explanation consult your local Maori.>>>>>>>
What does this mean?
Do you know what you are referring to?Your local Maori is not a
phrase we would use in our culture.Please - I am not wishing to attack
or flame in any way..But you need to understand that that this employ
of phrase is quite inappropriate-What is this idea of local Maori to
you?I am simply asking the question you see... so that we can
understand a little better...You see it is the sheer flippancywithout
reflection upon the implication --what if I said your localHopi?Your
local cigar store Hopi? Your local cliche?Please I understand there
is a vast difference in point of view here--it is just that here
such a phrase would set many on edge here in NZ-used especially to
faintly damn at the end of such an extra-ordinary prolix piece of
work which I'll try to unravel..can't promise anything here,Danielbut
at least I hope we can meet as minds..and see what it is,we may
say to each other say to each other.
Isee an obviously amusing human being-posting stuff like this;
re: alla the addlepated crap
To: Wilton Rodger
Sir:
<<<<<<<<<Your most recent offline letter hasposed issues of differential
legitimacy
in exposition of ad-hoc-innovated theory (where my contributions along that
line of alleged-cognitive[1] activity if present are by necessity as well
enciphered as a Victor Sorge dispatch of 1940 intended for Stalin's eyes
only)>>>>>
>.Now really-Come on-What would Ernesto had done with this huh?
Or Ezra.?Can anyone tell me what it means?I know it great fun to
be an obscurantist -but sorry,I know you gonna hate this-itsterribly
bad writing,dear chap.You don't write to be read-you do this stuff
because its fun-nothing wrong with that--and-forgive me if I was
abusive-I was saying Daniel -come off the grass-stop robbing the
world of a great talent,a fine mind-and write to be read,there are
those out here who could use your insight -minus all the rococo
flummery and the endlessly lengthy tortuously gargantuan syntactical
constructions you do so well..
Transmission of tabooed theory, inclusive of my personally preferred
macrotheory,<<<<how am I meant to know what thatis>>> is
[ideologically] counterreal<<<to what?>>>>; classimpertinence<<<<okay>>>;
Symptomatic
behaviour(s) of sufficient gravity to trigger anticipatory-monitoring
defenses;<<<<fair enough--it was designed to bring you out ofyour
lair>>>> and *un*[Professional], un-what of minor importancerelative to
its generalizedly offensive character of *un*; where *un* in any form, to
notable degree repeated, constitutes ritual defilement of a milieu set aside
for Decent People such as yourself (till elsewise proven) by exploitative
deviants which the screening procedure, invidious status display, exists to
bar from depresingly baleful and noxuous unseriousness, travestying morally
virtuous exercise of cognition, debasement of Standards, and doctrinaire
monotony (as based on knowledge ruled out of existence
.<<<Wonderful!God that is breathtaking--how the heck do you doit?I am
serious!--now if you where to insert some clear short daggers into
this vasty sprawl we would have some hot writer boiling in our
midst..I still dunno if it means anything but my hat is off to
you Sir..indeed.Thinking this thru perhaps I do you an
unkindness..anyone who can write the above--perhaps they dont need to
make sense... but alas,tis 94 and the times are upon us..
Please get that straight, I did *macrothery*<<<<what do youmean you
did?-is this some past tense college academiareferent?>>>>, not
socioecology ethics.<<<And what is <<<thery>>>> If, sir, you just might
bring yourself to offer your services as "the
alias of last resort," far be it from me to let one moment elapse before
inundating or at minimum copiously supplying you with manuscript in
quantity.<<<<I'll settle for the minimum at this stage--atleast until
we know each other better...>>>>
In return you maight it is hoped modify some of the worst *un* language
into sociogibberish acceptable to the small minority I should call "the
panel" and a larger one I may call by analogy "the studio audience." The
great bulk of the listmembership, the lurkers, are in the listening/viewing
audience, peripheralized.
Incapable as I am,<<<far from it,--you are far too dammcapable-just
simplify and give some content a nod now and then-that is all I am
saying>>> You have two viable approaches to get mycomplying<<<no need to
comply>>>
with your abusive demand<<<yes it was abusive and it is ademand..but
this is not bambi,lovebombs,nice designer drugs and peace and love-IMO
this is a planet that needs intelligence "speaking truth to
power:"-unless leriland is la la land-which it aint IMO-I could be
wrong>>>> showbeit one not averse to my interest. The first
is to expain to our Complaint Department, which is by happenstance me,
myself,
or I -- Insurance coverage requires compliance with grammatical *and*politi-
cal correctness where dubious cases are remanded to the Suffix County Commi-
ssioner of Investigations for Bribe Determination -- just what precisely you
are complaining <<<<is this becomingclear??>>>>>???of or about, where
this is not always clear from your text,<<<appreciated!>>>
with specimen snippets, if any, exemplifying an instance of "something
useful"
I may have perpetrated in the Past, unless the Revisionist historians have
got to it before you did, for my guidance as, howevermuch unlikelyseeming,
I do truly mean to please:
<<<<<<yeah i know this from lurking-that is why itook the
bother to send you a stinger--i mean in new york-what would be so
out of the ordinary in a remark such as mine toyou,already>>> "
The fault my dear Brutus is not in our intention
but in our execution that our Efficiency Reports be marr'd," they say in the
Civil Cervix
.<<<dunno what you are talking about,pal>>>
Alternatively, this is your second option that is, you might choose to
write the entire problem up as a major article, publication whereof hereby
guaranteed wherefor in my capacity as Editor In Chief, for Flamewar Soldier
of Fortune. A free subscription has been entered in your name, and the full
text will tuesday next be found in your mailboxes, both cellulose-oriented
and this kind. I'll even go so far as to enter your name, which is unimpor-
tant, and Userid, which is, upon the honour roll of the flamewar training
camp and epic flamewar poetry list, donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu, where
there is no possibility you will ever be expelled for offensiveness; that's
what the list is for. What's worse, to the listowner, saintly fellow known
as zeek@bongo.cc.utexas.edu, is his own inability, thus far, the software
tells him nothing except what's in the Documentation, ruse de guerre, how
to unsubscribe anyone the software refuses to help out by reason of some
stochastic algorithm it hasn't told itself about.
<<<Geee you are all heart,
Mista Amerika..underneath alla the candy floss there ,as ever,is
clenched the velvet glove-????>>>>
So Daniel -I find you great fun,and you have built a fineriposte.
I hope we can continue to exchange addlements whilst somewhat gourded
or otherwise.In the final analysis it is the freedom to be able to
conduct this exchange that is so important-and I thank you fortaking
the trouble and the time to respond to my provocative barb.
May yur nobly-originated hypothalamus runneth over in the splendour
of your days.Regards,Wil.
-- Wilton
_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ Wilton Rodger
_/ _/ _/ Deep Thought BBS, Auckland, New Zealand
_/ _/ _/ A FirstClass(tm) Macintosh GUI BBS
_/_/_/ _/ Internet: wil@deepthnk.kiwi.gen.nz
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 19:12:49 EST
From: hank@MIKE.LRC.EDU
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: re: REPLY TO DAN FOSS
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <0097D72E.61C9ED80.21463@MIKE.LRC.EDU>
i like rococo. . .
there is enough "straightforwardness" here. . . lots of
"progressive dialectic". . .
i like rococo. . .
hank
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
Subject: Re: worse than that lookit the price of talk in east europe
To: DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu (Daniel A. Foss)
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 14:26:51 -0500 (CDT)
Cc: leri@pyramid.com (Leri-l Metaprogramming List)
In-Reply-To: <940423.113320.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss"
at Apr 23, 94 11:33:20 am
Mr. Foss so eloquently said:
>barbara you are so fucking naive. You recall I said only yestiddy orlast
Mr. Foss... I don't pretend to speak for the countless others on Leri, but
I really don't appreciate waking up to meaningless insults such as this.
*I* personally would appreciate it if you would tone down the language and
try to be a little more *gentle* when pointing out what you consider to be
flaws in a person's thinking.
This of course could be completely meaningless to you, but it's important
to *me*, and I feel a strong need to let you know this.
Thank you,
Jefffffffffff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
Message-Id: <199404241926.AA28157@corn.cso.niu.edu>
Subject: Re: worse than that lookit the price of talk in east europe
To: DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu (Daniel A. Foss)
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 14:26:51 -0500 (CDT)
Cc: leri@pyramid.com (Leri-l Metaprogramming List)
In-Reply-To: <940423.113320.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss"
at Apr 23, 94 11:33:20 am
Mr. Foss so eloquently said:
>barbara you are so fucking naive. You recall I said only yestiddy orlast
Mr. Foss... I don't pretend to speak for the countless others on Leri, but
I really don't appreciate waking up to meaningless insults such as this.
*I* personally would appreciate it if you would tone down the language and
try to be a little more *gentle* when pointing out what you consider to be
flaws in a person's thinking.
This of course could be completely meaningless to you, but it's important
to *me*, and I feel a strong need to let you know this.
Thank you,
Jefffffffffff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 14:26:51 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Re: worse than that lookit the price of talk in east europe
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <199404241926.AA28157@corn.cso.niu.edu>
In-Reply-To: <940423.113320.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss" at
Apr 23, 94 11:33:20 am
Mr. Foss so eloquently said:
>barbara you are so fucking naive. You recall I said only yestiddy orlast
Mr. Foss... I don't pretend to speak for the countless others on Leri, but
I really don't appreciate waking up to meaningless insults such as this.
*I* personally would appreciate it if you would tone down the language and
try to be a little more *gentle* when pointing out what you consider to be
flaws in a person's thinking.
This of course could be completely meaningless to you, but it's important
to *me*, and I feel a strong need to let you know this.
Thank you,
Jefffffffffff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
Message-Id: <199404241926.AA28157@corn.cso.niu.edu>
Subject: Re: worse than that lookit the price of talk in east europe
To: DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu (Daniel A. Foss)
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 14:26:51 -0500 (CDT)
Cc: leri@pyramid.com (Leri-l Metaprogramming List)
In-Reply-To: <940423.113320.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss"
at Apr 23, 94 11:33:20 am
Mr. Foss so eloquently said:
>barbara you are so fucking naive. You recall I said only yestiddy orlast
Mr. Foss... I don't pretend to speak for the countless others on Leri, but
I really don't appreciate waking up to meaningless insults such as this.
*I* personally would appreciate it if you would tone down the language and
try to be a little more *gentle* when pointing out what you consider to be
flaws in a person's thinking.
This of course could be completely meaningless to you, but it's important
to *me*, and I feel a strong need to let you know this.
Thank you,
Jefffffffffff
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 19:54:52 -0500
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: saying fuck to jesusfuck part one chapter 2 of 3 (fwd)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 14:26:51 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Re: worse than that lookit the price of talk in east europe
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <199404241926.AA28157@corn.cso.niu.edu>
In-Reply-To: <940423.113320.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss" at
Apr 23, 94 11:33:20 am
Mr. Foss so eloquently said:
>barbara you are so fucking naive. You recall I said only yestiddy orlast
Mr. Foss... I don't pretend to speak for the countless others on Leri, but
I really don't appreciate waking up to meaningless insults such as this.
*I* personally would appreciate it if you would tone down the language and
try to be a little more *gentle* when pointing out what you consider to be
flaws in a person's thinking.
This of course could be completely meaningless to you, but it's important
to *me*, and I feel a strong need to let you know this.
Thank you,
Jefffffffffff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 24 Apr 1994 17:51:44 +0400 (EDT)
From: Noah the Dharma Bum <nraizman@telerama.lm.com>
Subject: Re: how to actually take politics out of science
To: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu>
In-Reply-To: <940423.033633.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Dan,
I love you.
I love your writing.
I love your mind.
Just thought you should know.
BTW- Where can I find stuff you've written in published form?
Noah
**********************************************************************
* Noah Raizman * nraizman@telerama.lm.com *
**********************************************************************
* "You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table
* and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be
* quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to
* you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy
* at your feet."
* -Franz Kafka
**************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 94 05:02:49 EDT
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: approbriate language for addressing barbara hall
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <940425.050249.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Jeff,
Ms Hall uses the nom de plume/guerre "jesusfuck" when posting elsewhere,
and at times correspondingly intemperate language to go with it. Thedifficulty
appeared to me to lie in the other direction, choice of words inadequately
filthy for appropriate use. Which do not come to me easily, as I'd led ashelt-
ered existence when Normal little boys and girls were picking up suchlanguage
as if by osmosis. As Ms Hall is five ten and a gymnastics instructor, ifwould
have been most unwise for me to have sought out to deliberately offend her
after the fashion you appear to have in mind. As she has not to my knowledge
either posted or sent an offline letter on this matter, the system default,as
I see it, is, "cuss away!"
Why don't you elicit the disapprobation or otherwise of thesuppositiously
injured part herself? Please. Also, let's take a poll of the "countlessothers
on leri." If the result is negative in either case, I shall of course post a
complete and contrite apology. The choice of words, to repeat, was specificto
the intended primary recipient, who is a friend, almost a fictive niece or
something of the sort, and someone I would not offend for the world.
Daniel A. Foss
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
Message-Id: <199404251309.AA05248@corn.cso.niu.edu>
Subject: Re: approbriate language for addressing barbara hall
To: DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu (Daniel A. Foss)
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 08:09:07 -0500 (CDT)
Cc: leri@pyramid.com (Leri-l Metaprogramming List)
In-Reply-To: <940425.050249.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss"
at Apr 25, 94 05:02:49 am
>Jeff,
> Ms Hall uses the nom de plume/guerre "jesusfuck" when postingelsewhere,
>and at times correspondingly intemperate language to go with it. Thedifficulty
>appeared to me to lie in the other direction, choice of wordsinadequately
>filthy for appropriate use. Which do not come to me easily, as I'd led ashelt-
>ered existence when Normal little boys and girls were picking up suchlanguage
>as if by osmosis. As Ms Hall is five ten and a gymnastics instructor, ifwould
>have been most unwise for me to have sought out to deliberately offendher
>after the fashion you appear to have in mind. As she has not to myknowledge
>either posted or sent an offline letter on this matter, the system default,as
>I see it, is, "cuss away!"
> Why don't you elicit the disapprobation or otherwise of thesuppositiously
>injured part herself? Please. Also, let's take a poll of the "countlessothers
>on leri." If the result is negative in either case, I shall of course posta
>complete and contrite apology. The choice of words, to repeat, was specificto
>the intended primary recipient, who is a friend, almost a fictive nieceor
>something of the sort, and someone I would not offend for the world.
>
>Daniel A. Foss
Mr. Foss,
I don't care what Ms Hall did or said because I didn't read it. Mind you,
I was only letting you know how I felt on the subject... you can do with
that information as you please. :) I'm just letting you know that I and
*perhaps* many others don't see the need for insults such as that on
Leri. You seem to be quite a prolific writer (although a bit difficult
to understand at times) and you *never* seem to be short on words... SO...
I am thinking that it would not be beyond your intellectual reaches to
be a bit more constructive with your insults, and less destructive. You
can be equally degrading (if that is your goal) without using such
language.
Jeffffffffffff B. Elder
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 08:09:07 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Subject: Re: approbriate language for addressing barbara hall
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <199404251309.AA05248@corn.cso.niu.edu>
In-Reply-To: <940425.050249.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss" at
Apr 25, 94 05:02:49 am
>Jeff,
> Ms Hall uses the nom de plume/guerre "jesusfuck" when postingelsewhere,
>and at times correspondingly intemperate language to go with it. Thedifficulty
>appeared to me to lie in the other direction, choice of wordsinadequately
>filthy for appropriate use. Which do not come to me easily, as I'd led ashelt-
>ered existence when Normal little boys and girls were picking up suchlanguage
>as if by osmosis. As Ms Hall is five ten and a gymnastics instructor, ifwould
>have been most unwise for me to have sought out to deliberately offendher
>after the fashion you appear to have in mind. As she has not to myknowledge
>either posted or sent an offline letter on this matter, the system default,as
>I see it, is, "cuss away!"
> Why don't you elicit the disapprobation or otherwise of thesuppositiously
>injured part herself? Please. Also, let's take a poll of the "countlessothers
>on leri." If the result is negative in either case, I shall of course posta
>complete and contrite apology. The choice of words, to repeat, was specificto
>the intended primary recipient, who is a friend, almost a fictive nieceor
>something of the sort, and someone I would not offend for the world.
>
>Daniel A. Foss
Mr. Foss,
I don't care what Ms Hall did or said because I didn't read it. Mind you,
I was only letting you know how I felt on the subject... you can do with
that information as you please. :) I'm just letting you know that I and
*perhaps* many others don't see the need for insults such as that on
Leri. You seem to be quite a prolific writer (although a bit difficult
to understand at times) and you *never* seem to be short on words... SO...
I am thinking that it would not be beyond your intellectual reaches to
be a bit more constructive with your insults, and less destructive. You
can be equally degrading (if that is your goal) without using such
language.
Jeffffffffffff B. Elder
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 94 07:56:01 EDT
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: other odd aspects of Jeff Elder's complaints
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <940425.075601.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Jefffffff,
We have a list, Leri, here, with a subculture among whosecharacteristics
is counted egregious overuse of expletives, profanity, and obscenity. WhichI
hardly ever emulate, aside from the neologistic *waddafog*, inter alia. Nogood
at it, started too late, and the most extreme conformist pressures arerequired
before I succumb to commonplace Normal behaviour along these lines.
Also, I try, insofar as possible when addressing kidz - a quasi-racewhose
members tend to get characterized by old folks like me, but not in theparticu-
case, to "all look alike" - to personalize the letter. It is incontestablethat
Barbara Hall has made the .sig "jesusfuck" her literary trademark; cfFNORD-L@
UBVM, donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu; and idunnowhere else. What's more, it
is customary and normative on Leri to refrain from euphemizing thedenotation
of the problematic word as "copulate," "copulation," but as just plain oldord-
inary "fuck," as transpired earlier this month; and to do elsewise would runa
risk of castigation as elitist hypocrisy. Are we agreed so far?
In the post to Barbara Hall in question, the obscenity was not in theleast
intended as a flaming device; rather, it was an attention-getting device to
elicit an answer to both that letter and the previous one; wherein it was
eminently successful:
>just a little note to tell you that I WILL be responding to these lasttwo
>letters you have sent my way and leri's way, not ignoring them, just
What's even more interesting, you have ignored the usages found in the post,
arrived just after yours, which contained several words of perhaps a lesser
degree of obscentity, yet in higher frequency and extent, "REPLY TO DANFOSS,"
by Wilton Rodger <wil@deepthnk.kiwi.gen.nz>, where the e-mail address(his
company name) is itself offensive to women by allusion to a porno moviewherein
the protagonist role was performed, under duress, by "Linda Lovelace," apseud-
onym; the "duress" included involuntary acts performed under hypnosis,threat-
ened and actual violence, and torture when perpetrated by governmentsarouses
the concern of Amnesty International. In the first long paragraph there isan
occurrence of "bullshit" which I customarily euphemize as [barnyardepithet],
mainly, it is true, for humorous effect. The usage "addlepated" is normallya
character assassination conflating Retarded with Psychotic. Further down the
same word is paired with "crap" which I likewise, mainly for humorouseffect,
again, I substitute [deleted]. Later still, "gourded" means drunk, again a
character assassination; I don't drink.
None of this matter's, though; the verbal abuse is well within bounds for
a leri post. It's distincitive only in the author's somewhat unfamiliarnation-
al culture. Which to me is welcome, even though we started off on the wrong
foot offline.
In an earlier post I sent, I framed, using polysyllabic words, by way of
saying that a falsehood may be fabricated notwithstanding a grain of truth,
even a "WHOLE FUCKING EAR." Whereto there was no torrent of complaints; notone
that I know of.
And if you timetravel back to the last day of March followed by earlyAprl,
you will find, for instance, headers faked to include a Fuck: field.
My inference herewith is that the issue is epiphenomenal; masks deeper,
smoldering resentments. Please, if there's anything to what is admittedlythis
bit of sheer guesswork: out with it; greater trouble may be forestalledlater.
Should you be having a problem with me you construe as uniquely personal,this
is likely to be shared, if in isolation, by several peole not cognizant of
one another's existence or of specific views regarding me. Please, out with
it, if there's anything to come out. (No motives look all that real when
observed from the level down or level up. But at the level they fester, they
are the realest. So, tell, by all means, should there be the leastish stuff
to tell.
Daniel A. Foss
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 17:46:24 -0500
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: saying fuck to a jesusfuck part two (fwd)
[continued from detritus sent out on monday wuzzat you aint got none justwait]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 09:37:01 -0700
From: rjMOOre@ingres.com (richard j moore)
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Re: worse than that lookit the price of talk in east europe
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <9404251635.AA06457@k9.ingres.com>
Annie suggested, in reference to our Beloved Daniel:
>...concentrate on content not delivery.
>You will laugh.....
hey! i like the _delivery_ too!
richard
===========================================
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 15:34:11 -0400
From: far@medinah.atc.ucarb.com (Forrest Richey)
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Re: approbriate language for addressing barbara hall
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <9404251934.AA19365@medinah.atc.ucarb.com>
>Curse away,... to remember the Anglo Saxons!
>
>Annie, far from innocent
Merdre!
till the field folds... Best,
FAR
=========================================================
From: Chuck Adams <cadams@weather.Brockport.EDU>
Subject: Re: approbriate language for addressing barbara hall
To: DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu (Daniel A. Foss)
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 18:18:36 -0400 (EDT)
In-Reply-To: <940425.050249.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss"
at Apr 25, 94 05:02:49 am
what Daniel A. Foss really MEANT to say was:
> Why don't you elicit the disapprobation or otherwise of thesuppositiously
> injured part herself? Please. Also, let's take a poll of the "countlessothers
> on leri." If the result is negative in either case, I shall of course posta
> complete and contrite apology. The choice of words, to repeat, wasspecific to
> the intended primary recipient, who is a friend, almost a fictive nieceor
> something of the sort, and someone I would not offend for the world.
>
> Daniel A. Foss
>
I'd say the language was inflammatory, but ultimately, it's up to barb
to decide what the impact was. I didn't like seeing it because it
looked like the opening shot of a flame war. Secondly, the ill will
around these parts is really more than I can take, seeing as how I
have enough to deal with that makes me a grouch, and I don't really
want to read any more venom to add to what I've already aimed at my
friends in ER conversation.
chuck.
======================================================================== 54
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 94 15:52:21 EDT
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: MEANT to say
To: Leri <leri@gossip.pyramid.com>
cc: Charles Addams <cadams@weather.Brockport.edu>
Message-Id: <940427.155221.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
You got some damned nerve, kid, making any inferences about what Daniel A.
Foss MEANT to say. Daniel A. Foss never leaves any ambiguity when composing
what is supposed to be a friendly letter to a friend when some woodenheaded
moron might stumble across it and assume it's an opening flame of a flamewar.
This, imbecile, is on the contrary a kick up your asshole knocking out your
teeth frontways. You mind your own business, I never minded yours.
Daniel A. Foss
------------ TEXT-OF-YOUR-RETARDED-MAIL----------------------------------------
From: Chuck Adams <cadams@weather.Brockport.EDU>
Subject: Re: approbriate language for addressing barbara hall
To: DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu (Daniel A. Foss)
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 18:18:36 -0400 (EDT)
In-Reply-To: <940425.050249.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss"
at Apr 25, 94 05:02:49 am
what Daniel A. Foss really MEANT to say was:
> Why don't you elicit the disapprobation or otherwise of thesuppositiously
> injured part herself? Please. Also, let's take a poll of the "countlessothers
> on leri." If the result is negative in either case, I shall of course posta
> complete and contrite apology. The choice of words, to repeat, wasspecific to
> the intended primary recipient, who is a friend, almost a fictive nieceor
> something of the sort, and someone I would not offend for the world.
>
> Daniel A. Foss
>
I'd say the language was inflammatory, but ultimately, it's up to barb
to decide what the impact was. I didn't like seeing it because it
looked like the opening shot of a flame war. Secondly, the ill will
around these parts is really more than I can take, seeing as how I
have enough to deal with that makes me a grouch, and I don't really
want to read any more venom to add to what I've already aimed at my
friends in ER conversation.
chuck.
========================================================
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 16:34:31 -500 (EDT)
From: Mike Shurtleff <shur@CAM.ORG>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Re: approbriate language for addressing barbara hall
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <Pine.3.07.9404251626.C10994-8100000@Altitude.CAM.ORG>
In-Reply-To: <9404251934.AA19365@medinah.atc.ucarb.com>
On Mon, 25 Apr 1994, Forrest Richey wrote:
> Merdre!
Nom de dieu! c'est merde, pas merdre!
shur qui sait sacrer en francais aussi
>
> till the field folds... Best,
>
> FAR
>
=======================================================
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 94 17:57:13 EDT
From: tom@mvision.com (Tom Ritchford)
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Re: approbriate language for addressing barbara hall
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <9404252157.AA20718@tom.eng.mvision.com>
In-Reply-To: <Pine.3.07.9404251626.C10994-8100000@Altitude.CAM.ORG>(message
from Mike Shurtleff on Mon, 25 Apr 1994 16:34:31 -500 (EDT))
Reply-To: tom@mvision.com
On Mon, 25 Apr 1994, Forrest Richey wrote:
> Merdre!
Nom de dieu! c'est merde, pas merdre!
shur qui sait sacrer en francais aussi
>
> till the field folds... Best,
>
> FAR
>
"Merdre" is from "Pere Ubu", the play by the noted 'pataphysicist
Alfred Jarry... I thought that Forrest's post was a deliberate
misspelling...
/t
Tom Ritchford tom@mvision.com (212) 227-1610
Market Vision, 40 Rector Street, NY, NY 10006
Send snail mail address for free sub to "The Journal of PataphysicalReviews"
=========================================================
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 22:04:04 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Re: other odd aspects of Jeff Elder's complaints
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <199404260304.AA18766@corn.cso.niu.edu>
In-Reply-To: <9404260207.AA07664@tpts1.seed.net.tw> from "Russ McClay" atApr
26, 94 10:08:41 am
>>Dan Foss,
>>
>>Wow... I really am surprised you wrote such a long message when alli
>>was doing was letting you know that it bothered me when you insulted
>>her in such a way.
>
>Just my 2 cents here...I believe the insult you have been referring towas
>not in fact an insult.
>
>If I say, in a joking manner, to a very close friend, "You're fuckin'nuts,
>dude," as he/she bungies off a bridge, it is not meant nor perceived tobe
>an insult.
>
>Email lacks facial expression, so I wonder if you would've perceivedthings
>differently if a few :) were thrown in.
>
>And don't fergit the children's rhyme:
>
>Sticks and stones....
>
>All the best,
>
>Russ
Yes, Russ... you are correct! You are correct in that it would have been
COMPLETELY different if :) :) :) had been included.
What I really want to clear up here is that Daniel Foss seemed to take what
I was saying to him as an attack, and it wasn't mean that way. I was
as I have said before, not meaning for him to take it as an attack and I
did not want him to think that I had some sort of weird personal thing
against him. I do not. I did not mean to come on strong and perhaps
if *I* had included some :)'s in there, it would have been different.
I was talking to Brian and Dave H. a few weeks ago about how I wish there
was some descrete language to better portray tone of voice over the net.
It seems to me that misunderstandings of "tone of voice" cause more
conflicts than anything else.
So, Daniel, Annie, Russ... I still object to using insults here, but now
that this fact is soooooo clear... I will keep it to myself and press the
D key politely! :) No hard intended. :)
Jefffffffffffffffff
======================================================================== 76
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 94 16:15:42 EDT
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: the FIRST Retard again
To: Leri <leri@gossip.pyramid.com>
Message-Id: <940427.161542.EDT.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Very simple, Barbara Hall is a wonderful and tremendous person, whilefucking
*YOU* is a fucking idiot motherfucking imbecile with fuckheaded fucking
eyeballs full of fucking chocolate pudding, now don't every lemme catchyerass
anywhere within five miles of anything I write, conformist nitwitplywoodnogg-
ined pigshitsnot.
Daniel A. Foss
---------------------------- TEXT-OF-YOUR-RETARDED-MAIL------------------------
Date: Mon, 25 Apr 1994 22:04:04 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jeff Elder <a10jbe1@corn.cso.niu.edu>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Re: other odd aspects of Jeff Elder's complaints
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <199404260304.AA18766@corn.cso.niu.edu>
In-Reply-To: <9404260207.AA07664@tpts1.seed.net.tw> from "Russ McClay" atApr
26, 94 10:08:41 am
>>Dan Foss,
>>
>>Wow... I really am surprised you wrote such a long message when alli
>>was doing was letting you know that it bothered me when you insulted
>>her in such a way.
>
>Just my 2 cents here...I believe the insult you have been referring towas
>not in fact an insult.
>
>If I say, in a joking manner, to a very close friend, "You're fuckin'nuts,
>dude," as he/she bungies off a bridge, it is not meant nor perceived tobe
>an insult.
>
>Email lacks facial expression, so I wonder if you would've perceivedthings
>differently if a few :) were thrown in.
>
>And don't fergit the children's rhyme:
>
>Sticks and stones....
>
>All the best,
>
>Russ
Yes, Russ... you are correct! You are correct in that it would have been
COMPLETELY different if :) :) :) had been included.
What I really want to clear up here is that Daniel Foss seemed to take what
I was saying to him as an attack, and it wasn't mean that way. I was
as I have said before, not meaning for him to take it as an attack and I
did not want him to think that I had some sort of weird personal thing
against him. I do not. I did not mean to come on strong and perhaps
if *I* had included some :)'s in there, it would have been different.
I was talking to Brian and Dave H. a few weeks ago about how I wish there
was some descrete language to better portray tone of voice over the net.
It seems to me that misunderstandings of "tone of voice" cause more
conflicts than anything else.
So, Daniel, Annie, Russ... I still object to using insults here, but now
that this fact is soooooo clear... I will keep it to myself and press the
D key politely! :) No hard intended. :)
Jefffffffffffffffff
========================================================
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 13:44:21 +1200
From: wil@deepthnk.kiwi.gen.nz (Wilton Rodger)
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Cc: Leri@pyramid.com
Subject: Explain,foss!
Errors-To: owner-leri@pyramid.com
Message-Id: <9404280352.AA20922@kiwi.gen.nz>
Reply-To: wil@deepthnk.kiwi.gen.nz
Organization: Deep Thought, Auckland, NZ
In a post to Jeff Elder Dan Foss infers,wrongly,that there is a link
between my sig and linda lovelace.
Mr Foss has drawn an inference where there are no factual grounds
to do so.
First.Foss states that Deep Thought is the sig for my company.This
is incorrect.It is the name of a BBs.
For your information,Deep Thought derives from the Series byDouglas
Adams 'Hitch-hikers guide"-Deep thought is the name of the computerin
that light-hearted spoof.So Mr Foss continues to bullshit.-I take
extreme objection to this completely imaginary statement.In my
country,there is a protocol for dealing with an insult of this
degree-a lie which carries imputations that are purient.Further
more,Foss has not even insulted me to my face-but imbedded his
nonsense in the context of another post.Foss coward,,master of bad
taste,obsfucation,and inaccuracies has now chosen to lie.The protocol
is this;You have offended me,you have laid offense against the group
that I am associated with-in doing this you offend not only myself but
700 others;An explanation is required from Mr Foss,as to where he
obtained his information-if it is only his invention,,then we shall
know him as Fossil-who-lies-with-untruths,/..and continue to laugh while
we dine upon his sweetness......te taki o whenua! I challenge you to
speak truth!
-- Wilton
_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ Wilton Rodger
_/ _/ _/ Deep Thought BBS, Auckland, New Zealand
_/ _/ _/ A FirstClass(tm) Macintosh GUI BBS
_/_/_/ _/ Internet: wil@deepthnk.kiwi.gen.nz
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 01:56:05 -0500
Sender: donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu
From: GR4302
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: the donkey goes to Ft. Collins
Grip. Get a grip. A good 'un and go!
The Donkey goes to Ft. Collins
He finds.....what? An instruction manual?
A new lease on life? No??
The Donkey goes to the Virgin of Guadalupe Hidalgo
And he finds.....??? Nope! Nope!
He finds a little seed
That tells him he hasn't left Chihuahua
And now he's gotta get all the way home
The Donkey goes to Star Wars
He sees....Yes!! Luke getting his nub scrubbed!
Everyone wanting more than's good for them,
And a stupid droid someone oughta turn into
a stereo VCR
And then the Donkey stays home
And listens to the thunder
And feels a little smug
And thinks about a girl he used to know in school
He saw her last week in the library
And then the Donkey remembers
He's a big long nerve
With a Donkey on the other end
;5##
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 14:15:11 -0500
From: <LIBWCA>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: Re: Winnings
On Thu, 28 Apr 1994, AA741CN wrote:
> MS LOTT (now are you happy?)...
>
> Take my advice and escape while you still can. The shredder
> is where they'll send you next. Not a fun place.
>
Quite to the contrary. We had a Secret Midnight Conclave (tm) this
morning and decided that we dig Ms. Lott the most. She's a bad
mamajama and a cactus, dude. We'll all going down to the Shake
Shoppe later, and my associate Melanie Willis is going to lead us
in a rousing chorus of "Wooly Bully" as the ceremonial tatoo is
ritually applied to the foot of Ms. Lott's soule. You're welcome to
attend, if you bring the beer.
Barney T. Devil
Prom Chairman
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 12:04:20 -0500
From: GR4302
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: pushing my squat agin
Now I got y'all's attention I'll soon be releasing an Anniversary
edition of CityCity with added Preface, Appendices and one more
nasty e-pencil slashing through it all. Anyone who wants a piece of
the action should call or write today and I'll get it to you when
I have the chance. Almost done with part one of Hope for the Hopefuls
which I hope to post on this list above everyone's objections.
Dog-A-Rill also still available in old edition, but the one Zeek
reposted (thanks?) is not in there and is, of course, now addressed
to the dead...I can't cry anymore now I have my pile.
Your e-Friend (especially yours though you seem unable to address me
directly anymore--but why Arthur?),
gr4302
;^##
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 16:26:38 -0500
From: <LIBALP>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: pushing my squat agin
On Thu, 28 Apr 1994 GR4302 wrote:
> to the dead...I can't cry anymore now I have my pile.
> Your e-Friend (especially yours though you seem unable to address me
> directly anymore--but why Arthur?),
> gr4302
> ;^##
>
How odd. Since I got my piles I haven't *stopped* crying.
That really is lovely, sir. "but why Arthur?" Ambigamous, new-fangoed,
it roots, it toots. When was the last time you thought of a "breezeway",gr?
Takes you back, doesn't it?
Arthur C.X. Parker,
Not saying things like "Terence McKenna has driven the golden spike in
the railroad of the mindward expansion" since the Mighty Instep was kicked
out of the Justice League of America.
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 16:40:49 -0500
From: GR4302
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: piles
yeh, it's true i can't stop crying either. but i have to pretend
sometime its all going to change for the better. stupid, i know,
but it's all i have for now. except for the list, you know, this
donkey, it has a stony brook running right through it and out its
butt.
GarbedinRoyalpurplehaze (since I don't the flip know when, who the
flip is counting? you wasichu gringo number worshippers),
;^#
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 09:58:51 -0500
From: GR4302
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Apology to Barney
Someone told me you only go by Bill so people will beat you.
That's okay by me. Now about this Clown thing. I know, it's
been two weeks but the whole suggestion threw me into a
fortnight of stupor. But didn't we burn the whole thing to
the ground last year? I hate that damn Clown and everything he
stands for, probably more than anyone on earth. I guess that's
why I can't even stand to see him e-murdered anymore. No joy
left. Sorry, BTD, your face is indeed a relief but I can't
find solace in burning arches more. Unless, of course, but no....
Don't worry--we'll find some e-arson to play with....Oh what
the Hell--Kill the clown if you must!
Garbled RhFactor
;^##
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 10:30:52 -0500
From: H.UNIATZ
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: RE: on the D-L (or is it just the injured reserve?)
On Wed, 27 Apr 1994, Arthur C.X. Parker completed his karate course and took
to the streets:
>believe by talking to that old redneck man you talk to. Sink not! into
"...to whom you talk."
h760,
defender of the faith
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 12:56:14 -0500
From: GR4302
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: these whiners rilly are part of the whole effect, eh?
Help! Help! Where's my butt! I need my butt! Give me explanations
NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!! And it must be formalized!!! I must
be able to understand every minute detail with my small reptillian
brain and gonads!!!! Where the FLIP is that Goldern'DONKEY!!!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help! Help!!!!!
For the posers--true donkey explic findable in Cosmic Trigger and
about a million other places if I could only find that goldern
stubborn short-circuited donkey!!!!! Oooo it hurts today....
gr
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 16:33:28 -0500
From: GR4302
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: You...you the donkey...
Everything's changed since I've seen you last. Do you feel like a
big nerve? Did it ever chance your nerve to dream up being a fish?
Well, fish it is! Dancing on the river! Uptown floods! What? and..
You...you the donkey, dig? With a shovel??? A little more to the left...
down a bit...yeh, that's good....mmmm...yeah....
take for pattern a donkey from anglia
who is rilly a knot-feast of ganglia
but its self-program circuit
is so subject to quirk, it
distorts in ways certain to mangle ya'
the clue is to enjoy it without being too convinced, see?
leave your donkey open for other possibilities....
;^##
eat hay. go to bed.
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 10:24:21 -0500
From: H.UNIATZ
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: EGGWHISK
On Wed, 27 Apr 1994, John Marsh erred:
>Don't know about nice girls, Brid, but nice boys don't divulge theirphone
>numbers to just anybody who happens to ask. Of course, if you canprovide
>character references, and a short essay on the topic of your choice, we
>might be able to negotiate a fair exchange.
Character References: ask Arthur for them, but not for ten minutes. I need
the opportunity to tell him first that he looks real pretty today,
so that he'll have Goodwill. Never has much Goodwill, does Arthur.
Short Essay On Topic Of My Choice: "I choose to keep my essay this short".
In The Interests Of Fair Exchange: my own phone number is 0891-500708
adeptly swinging deal,
h760,
nice girl
=============================================================
From: <WHIPLASH>
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 94 23:44:25 MDT
To: Donkey
Subject: HELP shit it doesn't help
i want you all and ther's no contact but in
my heart i want contact in my... body or soul
or SOME goddamn thing but it never happens does
it except in a lover well i thought i had that
but
apparently i was wrong, lisa was in me
and i was in her and lydia and janice sometimes
but it looks like you get just enough taste to learn
that it's just for play, for god to have a joke
i tried to defy god, but i wasn't able to start
to form some "safe house" from which to assemble the
assault
i should have paid more attention to what happened
to all the other creatures
we may not get there as individuals but we will
get there as a people
I Have A Dream Today,
=============================================================
From: <WHIPLASH>
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 94 23:37:15 MDT
To: Donkey
Subject: i sometimes run and chase the moon and dream of you
another impromtu drunken message.
janice is sleeping and i have to go to bed soon.
i'm still smoking and drinking.
working at this place is like combining all the
technical stuff i learned with all the human
stuff i learned. some times i wish i could
just arrive at the finish line and be done.
but other times i wish that i could keep grabbing
the back of life's heaving thigh while it came
in me and i came in it
jeez, it sometimes seems that i'm the only
person who really likes sex but i guess it's
just an openness thing but then again i have
sex like an addict which is needy and repulsive
so i guess that it's understandable that i'm sitting
here shining about it
maybe i can just get a note excusing me from
the rest of my life! maybe i can get an excuse
from sitting through the rest of all this.
how depressing! but i'm not going to get
sucked into the happiness trip either.
golly, i sure am drunk.
Shine,
robert
=============================================================
From: <WHIPLASH>
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 94 20:04:18 MDT
To: Donkey
Subject: i don't know anything anymore
stupified by sunday school
--------------------------
dragging and lifting garden hose shmoozing
apologizing for smelling like shit
dropping leaves in the water of the gutter
of seeing
i saw the magic of the gutter in st. pete
i was innocently wasted, the best kind of wasted
weeds were forests and dad hated
the holes in the knees of my jeans, bitching about them
endlessly, "why can't he stay off his Goddamned
knees?"
He wasn't my real father
and she wasn't my real mother
I was adopted at 5 days old and she divorced
my first dad a few years later because the
chemistry wasn't there, but he's a nice guy
and my grandma on his side just died a few
weeks ago and me and mitchell, my cousin, broke
her lamp glass with the applied painted pictures
on it but progeny had broken it before and you
who receive this message
you have something to
learn
my grandfather on my adopted mom's side
of the family skipped goodyear tires across
the atlantic ocean like flat stones he was not
kidding
he ate steak and eggs and
was in the army before world war two and
he got held up at the airport once for
carrying brass knuckles and he
didn't get to see me off and i'm
still proud of him
if i were you
i wouldn't bad-mouth him
because he might just show up
and kick your fucking ass
because he still has it
even though he's dead and i love him
if there is any beauty in this world
he had a franchise
if he's not beautiful
then fuck you and fuck me we're already
in hell.
but don't worry, even if he did rough you
up, my grandma just died and she's got a lot of
class and she'll clean you up; hey, easy!
it's OK! hey, easy baby...
look, she's got these groovy Captain Crunch
plastic drinking cups with the 3-D eyes that
she kept for the pleasure of the young progeny
and if you sit here with me and we're really young
and you play in the park next door and we dream
our little dream, you'll stop crying
my grandmother, Lorraine Stine
she loved her progeny
and you know what
she was right
and she loved you too
i remember this thing.
i declare that we will either make love or kill each other.
it's not up to me. but i insist on
one or the other.
hey! before you flip out, there are many ways
to love each other, right? i don't mean sex,
i just mean groovy hippy flower power, man.
trust me
trust me baby. don't cry.
if you want to argue
about it
i have nothing on my side but a dream.
but i remember that dream
more clearly than
i know i'm sitting here now
in the flames of hell.
much love,
metro
=============================================================
Date: Fri, 29 Apr 1994 10:57:46 -0500
From: <LIBWCA>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: parlimentary procedures
On Wed, 27 Apr 1994 H.UNIATZ:
> Mr Speaker, I beg that you should reprimand the honourable member from
> the Warehouse most severely. What petty accountancy is this? Is he the
> son of a shopkeeper? The number of maths is and always has been an area
> of painstaking security. There are Russians in the press gallery. Is it
> the intention of the honourable member to jeopardise our women, children,
> and birthright? He may make of himself a buffoon as much as he will, he
> may holler Paisley-style till we cover our ears, he may strew thesebenches
> with lice, but no such circus will persuade this government to speak.
Most honourable members; has it come to this? Has it come, at long last,
to this? Did the brave poofters who died with Nelson, finally, die in
vain? Let it not be so. And yet the honourable member from the goldfish
bowl insists that we, free men all, are not allowed - not allowed, mind
you - to know the number of maths. One is reminded of the ludicrous
number-of-penguins in the Falklands episode, which very nearly brought
down the previous government; does this government think that the people
will stand for yet another such scandal? I think the answer is plain.
And now, since the member from down the hall has chosen to engage in
foolish frippery, I find that I must (regrettably) carry through on my
promise in this matter:
Shame!
Shame!
The Right Honourable Barney T. Devil, Lord Scroop of Westerholmes
In the Wrong Bloody Chamber Again
=============================================================
Date: Fri, 29 Apr 1994 11:04:35 -0500
From: <LIBWCA>
To: Multiple recipients of list <donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: your mail
On Thu, 28 Apr 1994 donkey-l@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu wrote:
> We have some lovely parting gifts for you. Bill, tell the miserable
> entity what it's won!
Sure will, Lee. JLOTT, you may have failed miserably in your attempt to
impress our own Merciful Lee Dickens, but you won't be going home empty
handed - because each and every contestant on The Donkey Game receives,
within thirty working years of the completion of form twenty-six-aye-stroke-
five, one genuine, certified, grade-A bag of Number One Donkey Shit. That's
right - your living room may be nice now, but you'll be the envy of all
your posse when you spread this absolutely guaranteed bag of completely
registered and inspected fecal matter all over your high-plush multi-chrome
carpet table. Contestants also recieve a copy of the Home Game, and a
friendly whack on the brain-pan. While in Nirvana, contestants are guests
of Arthur C.X. Parker-Roshi, and stay in his beautiful large intestine,
overlooking Central Park. Back to you, Lee.
Barney T. Pardo
Previous Index Next