Previous Index Next
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 05 Jan 94 10:10:24 EST
From: AP <LIBALP>
Subject: DERIVATIVE DISTURBANCE
To: Donkey
Transportation to the marriage of A. Freeman offers a choice between
1) a vehicle which breaks daily and 2) a vehicle which does not move.
(Pause here to check dictionary to see if stationary object may be
termed "vehicle" according to laws of usage. Ahem, yes, as in "Bill's
busted down ride was a vehicle for discussion of car repair costs
in the Atlanta area." Could someone give me a grade for that?)
Did I say "Bill's busted down ride"? I meant "Art's". No, wait,
"H.'s". Bill's vehicle (formerly known as "mine") is giving Bill (nochange)
trouble, as he's allergic to coal, weak child.
EJ, I have a problem with the lip fasteners you sent me. Not that I'm
ungrateful, but these are wired for European voltage, and I are an
Armaerican. At this point, I think Anderson would use the word"whistledick",
were he not on the library's enforced enjoyment program.
insolently yrs,
ap
=======================================================================
Date: Wed, 05 Jan 94 16:42:29 EST
From: DAF <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: only possible irrelevancies
To: Donkey
Have been taking orange pills the way Dr A prescribed, which has permitted
limited verbal functioning on all possible days of the week, without,however,
generating delusions of content such as were formerly required to permit
posting to lists. The preceding is of course narcissistic. As Prof G. once
said, "Why should people with Full Lives want to talk to *you*!" by whom he
meant me; so the occasions when there is elicited the corresponding "seeming
to care," as the Shrkings put it, about the Full Lives of those such as
yourselves are full and far between. You may be correct, I Really Wanted To
Be This Way, but if 1 X and 1 Y chromosome couldn't Make A Man Of Me, why
should the Army.
Now, down to business.
As anyone who's been monitoring the Official FNORD-L is aware, there is
an entity signing posts, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. There are those of us who have
long wondered what LILCO is using instead of electricity during the hot
months of the year; not to mention those months of the year which are the
other thing, like now. Why, only the other day, I found myself writing,
"If I cannot say this about capitalism, I can say nothing at all. Capitalism
generates such mental structures as certainly as LILCO generates electricity
during a temperate day in April without precipitation."
Worse than this, my mother calls up and wants to know whether I noticed
that my lights went out, as reported on Newsradio 88. I am forced toexplain,
recall she is deaf as a post whilst I merely never listen, that that is the
private sector; but thanks to the foresight of the former Emperor Nelson The
Great of the Empire State, who Created this Stony Brook to be the Berkeleyof
the East, if it never was this is not his fault but ours, we are livingunder
Socialism, viz, the campus has its own generating plant, since Nelson never
trusted the private sector, then run by his brother David.
These times demand The Times, I mean, Collective Action, to not merely
administer a sound Thrashing to THE KIDD, but administer the coup de grace
to the remnants of FNORDitude & lackeys, unless we TAKE BACK ARMENIA!
Daniel A. Foss
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 05 Jan 94 17:25:45 EST
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: manifesto to exile community
To: Donkey
Message-Id: <940105.172545.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Arthur et al., you talk as if we asked to be packed off to this stinking
refugee camp where we sell sister's honour to nasty Pakistani soldier in
Blue Hat for bowl of watery gruel with 90% of food value when left North
Dakota removed and, most horrid of tortures, outhouses tricked out to
look like real flush toilets with painted imitation plastic toilet paper
to match. No, I say, was prologation of Western Imperialism drove original
Natives off of own fortified village land, turning it into reservation for
benefit of alien infidel enemy. Not our fault, is.
Take back armenia!
General Aidid,
for
Daniel A. Foss
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 05 Jan 94 17:52:58 EST
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: i never promised you a madison square garden
To: Donkey
Message-Id: <940105.175258.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Is that the Li as in "A journey of a thousand li begins with notification
to the office of the Ministry of Public Security"? Lots of homonyms in that
language, which makes for the confusion that causes the wisdom of the mystic
east to be what it never was but what you need at the time.
Daniel A. Foss
==========================================================
Date: Thu, 6 Jan 1994 11:40:18 -0500 (EST)
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: Let's Finish It
To: Donkey
he said with a sneer. It burns me, it churns in my soul to see that
damn list up and running. It's not proper. If that contemptible
little toad majcher refuses to stand up like a man and suck a nine
as proper people do, then hell yeah - let's sneak in there in the
dead of night and turn on all the lights and crank the goddamn box up
to ten and do it for him. We have the keys. We know where the tunnels
are, and we can fill them in. No quarter, my compadres. Nobody
leaves alive.
But just one thing, though: this enforced enjoyment thing has sorta
taken the edge offa my dagger-in-the-teeth baby-killing skills. Can
we wait till Monday? I'll be merciless then, I swear. Right now, I
gotta go mix me another smart drink.
Shaka,
ms
=============================================================
Date: 06 JAN 1994 08:54 -06
From: Merciful Lee Dickens<DICKENS>
Subject: Reply to only possible irrele
To: Donkey
AFTER GETTING OFF A REAL CORKER OF A POST - JUST LIKE IN HIS PRIME -
DANDY DAN INEXPLICABLY COUNSELS A RETURN TO OUR SLAVE NAMES:
>
These times demand The Times, I mean, Collective Action, to not merely
administer a sound Thrashing to THE KIDD, but administer the coup de grace
to the remnants of FNORDitude & lackeys, unless we TAKE BACK ARMENIA!
*** Comments from BARKING SEAL; 01/06/94 08:46am:
I accidentally peeked in the Fnord clubhouse window the day before
yesterday and was really apalled at the tacky way they've decorated
the place. Beavis and Butthead wallpaper, curtains, coasters, key
chains, coffee mugs - you name it - those dickheads are everywhere
you look. I say, rather than reenlist, let's just bar the door and
set the damned eyesore aflame. Burn the little jerkwads like just
so many marshallows in the Campfire of Life.
Seriously, it really sucks these days. If you thought it sucked
before, you gotta another suck coming, folks. It's sucking OUT LOUD
now.
Real Loud
No Shit,
Li the Merciful
=============================================================
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 94 10:50:28 EST
From: AP <LIBALP>
Subject: MYTH OF EDUCATION
To: Donkey
Fnord-L is a dirty place, tainted by us, and remaining unclean and
unsanitary in the possession of phantom beings. The cheerleaders
have packed their diaphragms and gone home to mommie. The denizens
once again eat conspiracy turds, mistaking them for peyote. What do we
want from Fnord-L, Daniel? Blood? Minds receptive to education?
Rubes to shuck? I think we all need to show our beautiful plumage. Perhaps
Donkey-L should find another list to mate with. Surely there's another
group of alienated hand-jobbers out there that's lonely like we am.
Yes, yes, he said, I will, yes, yes yes I'm your boyfriend now Fnord-L
ap
========================================================================
To: Donkey
From: EJFORD
Date: 6 Jan 94 08:58:30 EDT
Subject: Re: manifesto to exile community
Clearly, Dr. Foss is whipped into a frenzy over something...
What is it little feller? There's a fire? In the Valley?!? Down in
Deadrock Canyon?!?!?
There may well be a fire down in deadrock canyon, but with the
completion of the New Improved List Thingy (tm) almost a near
possible certainty, should we strap on our collective boots and
hurtle, screaming into the valley, without even effective air-cover?
Well, maybe.
As you all know, my motto in life is "Hunh? WUHT?" And I intend to
adhere to every dulcet tone in that hory slogan.
But I digress.
To get back to the matter at hand, Dr. foss is asking us to reclaim
the ancestral homeland. To Take Back The Phillipines. To Return to
the Throne (or at least, the Urinal).
And I am just randy enough to do it.
It were'nt right what them fellers done to us, what with them making
fun of us and kickin' em off our own list, our own comfy list which
still bears MY would-be name. It aint right, and I cain't stand it
no more.
Who's with me? Who's for one last gallant stab at the fat, fleshy
gut of incompetence that is Fnord-l? Who'll stand up and be counted
now that the going is tough and so's the cheese?
I know I will be able to look my kids in the eye and say
"Whateverthehellyernameis, when the going got tough, we bit back.
Hard. Again and again till we had no more teeth. THEN, WE GUMMED
THE FUCKERS TO DEATH!"
STUPIDITY IS MY MIDDLE NAME! I AM SUBSCRIBING TO FNORD-L RIGHT NOW!
EJ "Stupidity" Fnord
Motto: "Hunh? WHUT?"
========================================================================
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: THE KIDD and lizzie
To: Donkey
Message-Id: <940106.140926.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
1. Is everyone here familiar with the basic writings of The Kidd? This is
so I don't have to send out a 315-line file comprising yesterday's postings
by THE KIDD.
2. Lizzie was solicited yesterday, as Melanie already has been notified, to
subscribe to FNORD-L to neutralize THE KIDD. Lizzie would be great breakfast
food for any list with a disciplined sense of humor, which Leri@pyramid.com
is not, and has been annoying the latter for months already, but can't be
thrown off so long as they believe in their unrestricted freedom of
libertinity and their icky WUV. She has legally changed her name to Doctress
Neutopia, under which she propounds the religion of the Great Green Goddess
of the Ancient Cretins and the Gaian Lovolution, frequently in caps. Thanks
to her I do a regular course in the comparitive historical study of insanity
in religion & vice-versa. By all means send encouragement to:
neutopia@educ.umass.edu
...and see today's update, which follows the --- line after this commercial
message:
3. I work hard at this Daffy and Loopy act to make it come out the way I
want it to come out, while refraining from Overdosing on the orange pills
as I used to when I was an upcoming media celebrity in the shadow of the
alltime-great CHEATING, who made me the mere figment of something that never
was that I remain today.
Elsewise, you can take the product of 12 years of formal education in
sociology the way the sociologists taught me to write it, if you know how
sociologists write, because I forgot as of this moment and it will stay
forgotten until somebody pays me for it.
Should auld sociology be forgot
And never brought to mind,
Should auld sociology be forgot
For the sake of auld lang syne.
Daniel A. Foss
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------br>
From: Doctress Neutopia <neutopia@educ.umass.edu>
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Subject: Re: when
> The only exception to this is the Doctress, who was patently *not*
> invited by Annie, in fact, told to stay away. The Doctress had
> somehow alienated Annie, and Annie did not want the Doctress in her
> house. That was well within Annie's prerogative as host.
See here folks how the "host" (is Annie a woman? if she is, she
certainly is not a very warm one!) how the private party rules?
The ones who give the parties at their places can decided who
is in and who is out. Does this sound like goverance by and for
the people? So, what kind of goverance structure is this?
> From my quite limited perspective, all I can do is look around
> and say, does person a seem to exhibit qualities that I resonate
> with strongly, and is that resonance something that I also
> associate with my resonance with Leri?
Scotto, I don't even know if you respect my thoughts enough to
even read my email anymore. You seem to have taken sides with
the Establishment and have no real understanding of how it is
to be an Outsider. But, as I have heard, you are a white-
college educated youth who aspires to be the darling of the
white-middle class audience. And so, the patriarchy will
reproduce itself through you. Is it possible for you to become
socially hip?
> I don't have to Like everyone here.
> And I don't. I try, but I don't.
> Similarly, not everyone Likes me.
I take it that you are still ignoring me so I can take that
as a dislike sign. I wonder, if I had crashed the NM fleshmeet
if we would have been drawn to the same discussion circle?
> And then, when the large group broke up, we ended up hanging out
> with subsets that we *did* resonate with.
Tell me what did your subset discuss? Anything about the
organization of Leri? Anything about the purpose of art?
Anything about the role of Crones is forming community?
Anything about why Doctress Neutopia was excluded from the fleshmeet?
> This is all straightforward stuff; this is how people do things.
This is the way thing were done. In capitalism, "its not what you
know but who you know." And in the case of Leri's NM freshmeet,
if you know something that the "host" doesn't want you to know,
well, you don't get invited to the party.
> We can't save the world; we can only save ourselves.
(You Idealists will probably take me to task on this one; ah well...:)
> If a person like that tried to talk to me, I would *love* to chat. Itisn't
> that I would prefer they *didn't* resonate, after all.
Why are you afraid of being an Idealist, Scotto? It makes me
very sad when young people don't want to change the world. It
means that you are satisfied with playing the games of the Establishment.
Because of this, you will never be a Great Artist because the
purpose of Great Art is to change the world into a Neutopian
direction. We can only save ourselves by saving the world.
If we could become more organized, we could start a social movement
which could work in the direction of planetary salvation. But,
Scotto, in order for you to join in the struggle against the
Establishment values you need to change the values which are
controlling your shallow thoughts. I say this because I want
you to become the Dramatist who has an important message.
Sincerely,
Doctress Neutopia
------------------------------------------------------------------------ 26
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 94 13:40:04 EST
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: twerp
To: "Elizabeth N. Hubbard" <neutopia@educ.umass.edu>
Message-Id: <940106.134004.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Libby,
Now you are going to catch it. First, in private, let me say that I faked
being infatuted with you to keep you off the air; not the other way around.
I also faked feeling friendship for you, as it is beyond my capacity to feel
genuine warmth for anyone as scratchy-crawly repellent as you, who'd have to
be even more so than me to make the infatuation story fly, meaning, whatcould
I sell for in the marketplace except something as disgusting as you, except
I am not interested in your above average looks, which would have the effect
of making you too good for me if true, and your voice over the phone if you
must know was the turnoff of all turnoffs.
You were advised for your own good (what was in it for me was ego
gratification for doing Good to a wretch like you) to stay off the air;
you did not stay off the air; you were *bad*; you must be severely punished.
When I woke up this morning, I theorized about you.
Daniel A. Foss
========================================================================
Date: 06 JAN 1994 14:40 -06
From: Merciful Lee Dickens <DICKENS>
Subject: 5 TO 1, BABY
To:Donkey
JEEPERS! THE FOSSIL SLAMDUNKS THE FLOWER CHILD:
>
I am not interested in your above average looks, which would have the effect
of making you too good for me if true, and your voice over the phone if you
must know was the turnoff of all turnoffs.
When I woke up this morning, I theorized about you.
Daniel A. Foss
*** Comments from LOUD GUFFAW FROM SECTOR R; 01/06/94 02:35pm:
HOO Haw!
Get *DOWN*, Big Daddy!
That even caught the attention of Agent Penrod!
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
YOWSAH! '
` 0_ /___
Funny stuff...
========================================================================
From: DAF <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: lizzie on fnord-l complete with axen
To: Donkey
Message-Id: <940106.210527.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
We, that is, you, are in business; and I don't think the crowd what is
crosslisted with Leri's gonna object to Lizzie's change of venure. You think
Robert McIlwaine was rough, well, you aint seen anything yet. Just look atthe
LOVOLUTION crosseyed, and she'll properly hate you for it. A small slip for
a woman, a giant cataclysm for FNORDkind. Should she arrive wearing astrapless
slip, or off one shoulder, or two functional shoulder straps, or have theslip
appealingly and pervertedly torn, ah, I am getting tired, this taking Drugsas
directed is not agreeing with me.
DAF
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------br>
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 1994 20:25:46 -0500 (EST)
From: Doctress Neutopia <neutopia@educ.umass.edu>
Subject: Re: twerp, the word is twerp
In-reply-to: <940106.174202.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu> from "Daniel A.Foss" at
Jan 6, 94 05:42:02 pm
To: DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU (Daniel A. Foss)
Two things: first one is about beauty. I am *very* unattractive
in that I am so unsexy and Normal looking. There is nothing
especially interesting about me. Walk into any shopping mall
and there will be thousands of women you look just like me.
Because of this, I learned a long time ago that beauty is not
about the appearances, but about character. So the statement
that I am above average was a lie.
You are right about what I did to that poor Jim today. It was
an act of war and I felt guilty about it all day. Thank you
for acting on my behalf.
Now, be happy--
I will see you
on FNORD-l.
PS what is your mailing address?
------------------------------------------------------------------------ 44
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 94 20:31:21 EST
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: why can't you send the files
To: "Elizabeth N. Hubbard" <neutopia@educ.umass.edu>
Lizzy,
Is simple, send the files and I will copy them onto floppies in lieu of
infinite mainframe diskspace. I have lots and lots of blank floppies. The
starving children of Central America and Mexico cannot eat them. I shall
have the floppies buried with me, along with a carton of Benson & Hedges
Menthol. If I leave this room I shall surely sneak a ciggie. If I use the
Patch I shall surely also sneak a ciggie and die of congestive heartfailure.
Thank you for subscribing to FNORD-L, where hating is a fine art and you
will be if anything a rolemodel for young people aspiring to a level of
screwballhood you, and I for that matter, have surpassed by far and long
ago. Now, unsubscribe from Leri, so you won't know what you're missing,
and don't come back till I notify you that your name has ceased to crop
up, else some starving Mexican peasant rebel will cut it off with a machete,
this is the hate what comes of too much WUV, and stay where I can watch you.
It so happens that I can free up the time to have you aggravate me,because
I am not paid to do otherwise, and I've decided to try for application to
SCS, Saints Candidate School, just in case there is an afterlife and God is
Christian. Which is however not the way to bet. But as I am not Overdosing
any more, and the Drugs is worn off, it must be said that I find it wearying
beyond measure having to chastise you for your transgressions when you go
astray, take away your grounds privileges and such, very very wearying, I
am old and sick at heart (lung).
When you've exhausted every possible reason why you can't send your files
over optical fiber cable, the decent and proper way the Normal people do it,
I'll start to worry about you tracking me down here, how I can't call Campus
Public Safety for obvious reasons, how anything you do, They will get *me*
for and will do it even without your intervention, and so on, and so forth.
Remember what you *are*.
They never let me forget it, and I wasn't ever in the bin, even.
Sincerely,
Daniel
==========================================================
Date: Sat, 08 Jan 94 22:31:08 EST
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: pale shadow of CHEATING-UNIATZ boy-girl correspondence be
To: Donkey
...gins:
Please forgive me Lizzy, but this was how the greatest love story ever told
became part of e-media e-legend, what with the late CHEATING, whose name was
Xxxxx Xxxxxxxxxx, and whose favorite pranks included at one point driving me
Paranoid because I fingered other Enemies also Out To Get Me, and HUNIATZ,
who is Xxxx and is alive in England, conducted their media affair on daytime
e-mail on a defunct channel called SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM, Stony Brook Literary
Underground. You can access the complete files of what I already read after
I got into the movie theater, admission free on this campus, so you can see
what's Traditional and has gotta be lived up to which, let's face it, we
can't even if we wanted to, Lizzy, but that's what you can do, I mean, what
they did, if you, I mean, if *one* wanted to seriously fake insanity, where
who needs the real thing like what we got, compared to a fake of genius,like
what they did; and you could learn from the bad poetry they intentionallydid,
which is better than yours, bad-poetrywise. But, I mean, they *tried* tomake
it bad poetry; and it is as *bad* *bad poetry* as you could ask for. All for
love. That is the meaning of love, if you want to look it up and find out;
how could you know. You're a nice girl, lizzy, but you needed more practice
getting tied up with jumprope and playing with jack before he got elected.
O lizzy, you're so *nice* I could get sick, and in fact I am sick, fever
chills runny nose and snot dribbling down my deeply pitted & scarredfrom
Pontiac remnant of nose.
Try throw your dead cat at me, girl, I dareya.
Cautious handshake,
Danny
======================================================================== 41
Date: Sun, 09 Jan 94 01:26:30 EST
From: DAF <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: on account of real death & big c is serious am putting on
To: Donkey
Message-Id: <940109.012630.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
...hold...
Scott,
Would seem in bad taste to continue with current phase of PHNORRED posts,
but tonight did want lizzy to introduce herself, involuntarily if necessary,
to those of you who don't know her; THE KIDD & other peanut gallerycurrently
active on PHNORRED can [obscenity] themselves; and let me say on this sad
occasion how proud I am to have been associated with a real mensch like you,
Scott, to have tolerated my inappropriate self over these many years, not
only tonight, I am terribly sorry. - DAF
Date: Sun, 09 Jan 94 05:09:42 EST
From: daf <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: first public denial of what of if the next-to-last politi
To: Donkey>
cc: FNORD-L@UBVM
Message-Id: <940109.050942.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
...cs is with disclaimer of belief at end so DELETE this Thingieimmediately:
Date: Sun, 09 Jan 94 03:42:17 EST
From: DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu
To: Leri@pyramid.com (Leri)
Subject: yes consciousness is really great but
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Just read Michael J. Gourlay's post, and I was overwhelmed, let me tell
you, but good. An inspiring message, to meet the challenge of solipsism with
the weapons of solipsism, go up one's own navel with entrenching tool and
find the root of the thing, bash it to bits, and philopophically speaking
emerge clean and pressed. Which was all way over my head. As one who suffers
from *sour-grapes solipsism*, "if I don't exist, myself, which is Known, why
should I worry about any other userid on the net existing?" And I have
documentary evidence: Dwayne, a userid in Australia, called me an "imposter"
[sic] on Leri, and Steve, a userid in LA on ANTHRO-L, called me "as many
as five or six people," I introduced them, they agreed that they existed,
I dissented.
But Leri is still not telling me what The Next-To-Last Politics is,
which requires that Leri would concern itself, when Leri gets around to
it as Leri finds it necessary, what objectively exists. Unlike a mutual
friend of ours, who is living as happily ever after as she is likely to
get, I am not going to tell Leri what to do, and in return Leri is not
going to throw me out. But it was just a few days ago that sameer posted
600 lines, this was Paranoid Night, on what to do about "the cop who's
knock knock knocking on your front door." (Firesign Theater, 1970.) This
was one of Leri's rare preoccupations with *objective reality* whichactually
exists; not the kind listed under that last name in the phone book, Reality,
as explained in what you should have DELETEd without my telling you likethis
one.
So here's the *good* reason why I don't make sense. Intentionally. You
know all the bad ones. Too much sense is made. It is crap, it is false, yet
makes sense.
Example 1: Someone, I don't mention names, I'm on too many Enemies Lists
even for Paranoids, said three? days ago: "If you want to change the world,
you should change yourself first." Makes such perfect sense it slipped right
by everyone; but it's *wrong*, in the observable, behavioral scientific,
statistical sense. The rare, *extremely rare*, organism which reads some
piece of trash sold on the intellectual dogfood rack in a drugstore will
"change," but more often it's like the dietfreak losing 2 lb, gains it back.
What happens is:
a. You don't change yourself.
b. You don't change the world, which is a piece of shit; and youcertainly
don't change the united states of armenia which is to blame for that.
c. You enrich some Shrink or iatrogenic disease vector to half the extent
you impoverish yourself; or worse, depending on your corrupt insurance
company as part of the medical industrial complex.
The predictability of that is what makes life go on, same old senseless
way. But I am not your friend and mine, you know better than I do what is
to be done about it, and when you tell me I'll say rah rah. this is not my
point.
Example 2: Lamont Grandquist is depressed. He explains it with science
fantasies. But the rule of scientific parsimony is, with a completely non-
understood Thingie like consciousness, that book The Nature of Consciousness
notwithstanding, as it's guesswork, the existence of depression isexplicable
by environmental causation. Is Lamont Grandquist poor, African-American,
discriminated against, denied higher education, facing a bleak futurewithout
"marketable skills" acquired via "human capital formation"? I betcha, no.His
whole culture makes no sense at all to him, he calls ideas "intellectual
bullshit." In the last century, well hell as late as the 1930s, people took
Ideas very seriously. Only lately has there been an intellectual revolution
where it is now fashionable to say that Ideas do not have the slightest
relationship to behavior; what explains behavior is what you take forgranted,
and one of the things we all take for granted is that our armenia, the most
irrational society in human history, will be That Way forever. "And Them
shall reign forever and evvvvver," the song says. Maybe this works better
than chemical imbalances.
3. Example 3: Jurgen Habermas, my sucessful competition, the world's No.1
"macrotheorist." I wanna give you a whiff of how "real" sociologists talk to
each other and make sense to each other. This man is Really Smart; his name
is Anthony Arnove; and he wants to overthrow capitalism, this is one of the
Good Guys:
>generally, is that is that it specifically seeks -- through the
>_collective_ labor of theoretical construction -- to get beyond all the
>limitations of common-sense "subjective empirical reality" and toconstruct
>_counter-intuitive_ models of the way social relations operate. This is
>not to say that material social relations do not bear on consciousnessand
>that we should not care aboput what people "experience"; it is rather to
>reintroduce
>
>a) the problem of ideology under capitalism
>b) the problem of "systematically distorted communication" (Habermas)under
>capitalism and
>c) the limits of subject-centered, idealist reason.
>
>We are often told, indeed it is basically taken for granted by many who
>consider themselves leftists, that people's subjective reality doesn'tlink
>up up with socialist interpretations and socialist programs, that classis
Which shows the way Habermas makes sense to him. (But not to me, and I'd
use the words of George C. Scott in Patton, "I read your book, you fucking
Kraut bastard.") Habermas believes that, if humans communicated withprecision
and logic, the way machines do when you put a very logical proposition into
one box and the identical, therefore equivalently true, proposition comesout
via satellite on the other side of the earth, we would all be free from
"domination": We'd be defended against rulers who distort reality by shifty
and sneaky verbiage, excessive information here, inadequate informationthere,
misleading videotape, doctored photos, propaganda, advertising. But he is
*wrong* even though he makes sense. This is entirely ignoring the fact that
only a narrow elite gets or could ever get the training in logic andphilosphy
he says is necessary.
Here is word for word what I said, with the help of LSD, whatcommunication
is *for*: "To make what makes sense to me make sense to you." As,considering
how sexist I was at the time, seemed in the Nature of things; what could she
make sense of without help. When the message is important to the context of
the communication, we communicate to persuade, which is to exert power, over
someone whose understanding is inferior to our own, and by that very fact,
that orgainsm is Inferior to us. Right, "girls"? What I just said is, that
all idelogy in our culture is *gendered male*, or how could we take Reality
seriously, right, fellas? Otherwise, why bother talking with people: "No use
[arguing][trying to reason] with *your kind*; all you understand is*force*!"
The latter kind of people have *nothing to say*, and those who open their
Stupid Traps get Seriously Killed. The great Chinese sage Mencius, exact
contemporary of Aristotle, said, "Slight is the difference between man and
the brutes." So far so good for some primatologists, all vegetarians, and
the Student Action Coalition for Animals (SACA), which at this very moment
is trying to liberate all the white rats in the Psychology Quad, wants to
find warm loving homes. "Don't bother me, I've got Salman Rushdie hiding
under my bed since General Aidid moved out." You out there interested? But
Mencius goes on, "The common man loses this distinguishing feature, while
the gentleman retains it." (D.C. Lau trans., p. 13.) Distorting and
dominating are the *motive* for communicating, inextricable from the
message: There is no such thing as *pure communication* which in principle
both humans and machines do the same, in the abstract as abstracted from
actual social relation in which people use people and people use machines.
In the latter case, there is no good reason to have a machine to communicate
unless the message is precisely just so, or we junk it for a better one.What
High Fidelity is all about, no distortion if it's state of the art.
Of course, there's more to human communication. From one angle, society
is just people "interacting" with other people. (Don't ask a sociologist
what he she it means by "interacting"; it freaks them.) So they just have
got to talk a lot, talk it over, have a talk, shoot the breeze, chew the
fat, schmooze, hang out, have a *very private conversation* to keep someone
else out and nothing else, etc ad inf. 90% of sex is talk. My friend Mickey
has the amazing gift of being able to talk to absolutely any woman about
absolutely anything; and to date has never got a complaint of exploitation
from any woman he wasn't married to.
This post took a longer time than expected, because I got an offlineletter
from someone you don't know, zipped over to her house on Telnet, said,"thank
god where you been have been satting here three days going crzy," she said,
"paranoid" etc, and I haven't read the letter that set this off. (In any
relationship, one party or the other has more of a vested interest in self-
deception, almost always the party that does the walking out.)
This is why it is important to destroy sense wherever you find it,meaning
the spurious sense that is made by false cultural assumptions; as I say, too
much sense is being made. It adds up to the Big Lie, but Them has got us on
Automatic. You need to know what's spurious; some of the time you're gonna
be Wrong. But, for the record, in the 1930s, the Side of Good used Theories
and Ideas. In the 1960s, the Side of Good used Drugs, in particular LSD. As
somebody scrawled on the men's room in Amherst MA in 1974 (have not been
there since, swear), "acid dissolves 44 times its weight in reality,"without
knowing, of course, which one he meant. (In sociogibberish, LSD is "demysti-
fying." That's what is was used for, as a Left Drug. LSD made Timothy Leary.
Timothy Leary did not make LSD. Owsley, they said, made the LSD, when they
wanted to overcharge. Keep that clear. Without LSD making Leary, he would
have been the boring moron he was created as and still is.)
But can't be again. Lookit, Michael J. Goulay sent out a 500-line post
on "the ME Meme and the WE Meme." What is a meme? A reification. Right.
A meme is *imaginary* before it is anything else. "[Ideological] Reality
has a[n objectively] real part and an imaginary part, of which the real
part is allowed to be zero." LSD is obsolete, you screwed yourselves, go
unscrew up or find something else is my guess on the choices, I am nottelling
you what to do, I am trying to figure out what you will find your choicesare.
**** THE ABOVE IS SHEER GUESSWORK AND IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE TRUTH****
Daniel A. Foss
<this was too much sense and i swear will never try to make this muchsense
again i know what you are supposing since i am a Professional Paranoid with
a certificate of expertise and incompetence and a merit badge in the line
of doody>
**** WARNING LINCOUNTER DISABLED YOUR ENEMIES ARE FREAKING SHUT UP ****
==========================================================
Date: Mon, 10 Jan 94 15:55:25 EST
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: declaration of armed strggle by posting <fwd> of 541line
To: Donkey
Last night I finally finished an unstarted post to the grownups onANTHRO-L,
which was started in a previous post, Friday night, when I assumed there was
good whether because this room has no windows, got trapped by snowstorm in
building, don't speak Chinese and first notification of snow was, computer
center was closing early. Excuse me, the snow was outside the building,
requiring to get unsnowed on to remain in the building. Missing one train
after the other, the cabs were not running to the station, I wrote that
one, but went out of my way to affect nonpsychotic state and keep orange
pill consumption down.
Last night, already weird from being up Fri and Sat nights, wired is
inadequate as is weird itself, dangerous-looking is closer, I wrote up
sequelish Thingie, which also went to ANTHRO-L@UBVM, sister station of
FNORD-L@UBVM, where the latter is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Leri@gossip.
pyramid.com, whose nature and purpose, manifest and latent, are a large
part of the Thingie, and whose membership, male, our new recruit, lizzy,
who is a "nice," as they say on Long Island, girl. When we found her
raving on the streets in Halloween costume, homeless, turning tricks, and
calling herself Doctress Neutopia, before reforming her so she can teach
Future Studies in some nondiscriminating institution of higher learning,
and not be headed for looney bins and prisons, institutions of the other
kind, we told her to cut out the bad habits. The rules say, she's got
to find men two years older than herself, most appropriate by convention
and statistically most common. But no, she has got to be a public scandal
and get young boys from distant places, I refrain only from telling you
how, for *casual sex*. But not from telling you *who*. Last night was
Richard Ginn <rlg1@>, tonight Michael J. Gourlay <mike@>. Forshame, hussy slut. Then has the infernal gall to complain
that sex without Theory is not the same as sex with Theory, she can hardly
commit sex abuse any more, why did I not send her this long post. Now she
*is really going to get it*, because it's coming her way.
The real reason the post is being sent to FNORD-L is to fill it up with
*our* excrement, to mark out *our* territory: That's what pussycats do when
they "spray" *their* turf, which is *your* living room furniture. What the
post is, is for FNORD-L, **** THE DECLARATION OF THE LOCAL IDENTIFIER ****,
as Leri rules FNORD under terms of a League of Nations Mandate which became
a United Nations trusteeship. This will be explained on Wednesday, when I
get the new prescription.
Not everybody can be 21 years old, have all the time in the world for
positive and joyous self affirmation arising from self-knowledge at depths
unplumbed by us, when never is heard a discouraging word, and what there is
is of biomolecular etiology. Some of us never have sex and have nobody to
take LSD with. For those people, which is me, FNORD-L is necessary. First
I get it back, then Merciful Lee Dickens takes it from me like candy from ababy,
like he did before, then Leri will foreclose again, as they did before.
Watch for a post on FNORD-L, Subject, You're so vain, Leri <fwd>, and
don't bother to read it, because you know why it's on FNORD-L. ["You
probably think this post is about you."]
Daniel A. Foss
==========================================================
Date: 10 JAN 1994 10:48 -06
From: Merciful Lee Dickens<DICKENS>
Subject: FAT LADY QUOTE
To:Donkey
"Your banana stinks! P.U."
said to the woman whose desk she was hogging at the time and to whom
she appended the follow-up remark,
"You like `em all mushy or sumpin?"
There is a 50-50 chance I will re re-located to my very own private
office this week, far removed from the fucking Fat Lady and Harley
"Babbling" Brooks (who held forth for a dizzying hour and a half last
week on the history of the Grand Old Opry building then ground the
gears into a teeth-gnashing account of the fun that those of advanced
age can find in the manipulation of today's Etch-A-Sketch, no shit, so
help me God or Et Cetera).
Pray for me.
(Thanks)
Merciful Li
========================================================================
Date: Mon, 10 Jan 94 21:19:30 EST
From: daf <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: disunity of fantasy and practice
To: Donkey
Message-Id: <940110.211930.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Was quite aware that people fantasized such things as what lizzy's late
(or the other one's ex-) husband allegedly did, but couldn't see clear to
how they brought themselves to do it. Fantasy arises from symbols and signs,
of which every culture produces a surplus for export; and a surprisingamount
directly emerges from the economy: Bondage stuff was popular good clean fun
in peasant fertility rites in the Middle Ages, which was run on forcedlabor.
We have markets and hierarchies, so the same stuff became Really Dirty; the
idea, I'm guessing, is for rich businessmen to get off from release fromtheir
Responsibility, which is the essence of their claim to a Right To Rule.
Too silly to *do*, but you lock up anybody without a television, they will
think anything <yawn>. Who or what are Beavis and Butthead?
Daniel A. Foss
==========================================================
To: Donkey
From: EJFORD
Date: 11 Jan 94 08:31:36 EDT
Subject: Re: disunity of fantasy and practice
Funny Danny, Beavis and Butthead are figments of your imagination.
Pay them no heed. Merely a couple of weeds. He said weed.
In the meantime, I must say that you have been a proliffic little
camper, haven't you? Whatever that medication is, please pass it to
Arthur; has hasn't been online with any regularity in months. Years.
Eons.
Look, I am about as restrained and solitary as the next guy. OOOOOH,
I hate speaking out of turn! But could someone (DANA, OH, YOOHOO!)
please tell me what that tagline was at the end of Louise's post.
It's startin' to piss me off. Now, I should mention that I am an
inTENSEly gulible Gus, incapable of differentiating between truth,
lies and lunchmeat, but what the hey, I can trust YOU guys...
EJ Ford,
Font of Beavis and Butthead Wisdom
"Fire is good!"
========================================================================
11 Jan 1994 23:01:00 -0500
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 94 22:20:45 EST
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Subject: underdosed can only do few fragments in the clear
To: Donkey
Message-Id: <940111.222045.EST.DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
1. No, first duty of the revolutionary (or the analogous Thingie what comes
after the revolutionary) is, know who we are. There is no we for us to know
what we are, which is a positive thing, but negativesocial-transformationally,
unless you got some way to make the Great Yawning Void a mass movement, but
what for? Grateful I got lizzy to have someone in common with, which is that
we are crazy and people can't stand us. Even here lizzy an' me are Badly
Split by, well, untruth. Not delusions, the other kind. Like when I found
out Michael J. Gourlay <mike@penguin.gatech.edu> was actually helpingTall
<schwing@picasso.ocis.temple.edu> fix her ACCT last night, which is farmore
intimate than sex, involving exchange of secret passwords known as PSWDs,
probing the innermost depths of one's PROFILE EXEC, stuff like thatentailing
the union of all four genders, the male female hardware software, whichlizzy
can't imagine and this old codger can *only* imagine.
2. Not "into" anything; fantasize altogether too much; never did anything
fantasized about; never fantasized about anything I did. <yawn>.Doesn't
everybody?
3. Rethinking No. 1, without the death without resurrection of CHEATING,
no we would exist, which is maybe a healthy corrective to <Leri@gossip.
pyramid.com>, with the surfeit of identity it's got, it knows that it is,
never stops talking about what that might mean, to itself, which may be
what it's for.
4. Are we sure lizzy, as her Doctress Neutopia identity, wrote thatforwarded
Thingie herself, or did somebody make it up for her, it looks too improved
over what got her persecuted over in the Mother Country. Leri, I mean. That
she has caught on to the perfectly obvious principle that, if this is
capitalism, matured beyond its Victorian-productionist phase, it's got to
establish a strict monotonic relationship between gratification and socio-
economic status, which for most people is just plain income. So it is going
to prohibit anything the poor have fun with, like unfashionable Drugs, and
keep them in the jug by hundreds of thousands; make the middle class enjoy
themselves harder and harder on stagnant or declining real incomes, and
allow the Upper Middle Professionals and Managerials and of course the
really rich to have the choicest fun. There is a statistical relationship
between the orgastic frequency of women and years of formal education, for
instance. Big news. Those who can afford it have love, those who can't have
sick obsessions. What else is new.
Daniel A. Foss
==========================================================
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 1994 10:10:36 -0500 (EST)
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: Infirm of purpose?
To: Donkey
What was wrong with the amusing little exchange Arthur and I just
had with the blithering post-structuralist fish-in-a-barrel guy? Anybody?
That's right. Absolutely. Now - what are we going to do about it?
Daniel, are you willing to bear on your immortal soul for all eternity
the foul blemish of having revived the stinking corpse of Fnord-L?
I'm not.
How do we kill it? Anybody?
Malibu Skipper
========================================================================
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 1994 12:57:09 -0500 (EST)
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: Dogmatic Certainty, Agincourt and the Reformation
To: Donkey
>So what the hell do I do now?!? Do I ask this guy in for drinks and
>a quick game of hide the salami or do I introduce him to you guys,
>the collective folks. Unlike the Doctress, he doesn't seem to have a
>cerebral cortex, though I could be wrong, and unlike Louise, he has
>evidenced no interest in French SadoMasochism or any other kind of
>French.
M. Van Buren-Wilkes is a Methodist, I suspect, or possibly a
structuralist. To invite him to a hanging would be socially
acceptable; he would not be obliged to deliver on the first
date under such circumstances, but candlelight would, I think,
be inappropriate.
Me? I prefer to go days at a time, sometimes, without having
humorless undergrads parrot Foucault at me. M. Van Kleef-Potato
is cannon fodder, and has been duly consumed. Leave him lie.
Malibu Skipper
Dismissive and Elitist, but in a nice way
==========================================================
To: Donkey
From: EJFORD
Date: 11 Jan 94 13:27:12 EDT
Subject: Re: Dogmatic Certainty, Agincourt and the Reformation
OK, gotcha, Skipper, I'll leave him in the street. I sure hope he
stops looking at me with those big, puppy-dog eyes. Otherwise, I'll
have to gouge one out with a grapefruit spoon and eat it.
And I KNOW he won't like that.
On the other hand...
Say, does anyone have some ham salad? I WUV ham salad.
EJ
=============================================================
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 94 16:00 GMT
From: H.UNIATZ
To: Donkey
Subject: PROTECTIVE MEASURES
>Easy for you to say, Parker. You aren't working. You're a member of
>the decadent leisure-class running-dog bourgeoisie, and you don't
>count, pal. History will show you a creature of darkness, and your
>foul stench will be expunged from human memory; consigned to the darker
>corners of the collective id, you'll become a shadow for the frightening
>of incontinent children. You'll get yours at Armaggedon, Parker, and
>I'll carry your head through the gates of heaven on a stick. I'd go
>on, but you know the drill. Merry Christmas, thou malignant toad.
Dear Merciful,
This, would you not say, is a perilous alliance: it appears that Arthur and
Bill are regarding each other with a new friendliness and respect. Theyseem
to have forged an Understanding. Next thing we know, they'll have ganged
up on us all and we'll be alone and scared like we were before.
Here's my plan. Let's you and me have an Understanding as well. That way,
I'll come to yr aid when they strike, or, if I don't feel like it, I'll just
roll up the bandages afterwards. When you say something, I'll immediately
post a string of admiring messages, "ooooh, that was clever/funny/apt,Dana!",
and I'll have lunch with you when they go off to the corner to giggletogether
about you again. And you'll do the same for me.
Just for today, mind you,
h760
=============================================================
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 94 16:13 GMT
From: H.UNIATZ
To:Donkey
Subject: DID AS YOU SAID
Dear Bill,
I've tried to lure Dickens into a sham Understanding like you suggested,
and I think he may fall for it. I guess all those stories you told me
about his gullibility must've been true, after all. What next, do you
reckon? I know you said to leave Arthur to you, as he's tougher to fool,
but I'm happy to help if that's any good. And, no, I'm not sure what
the correct chemical is, but I'll check out the explosives section of the
basement and get back to you real soon, okay?
h760
==========================================================
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 1994 13:09:46 -0500 (EST)
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: DID AS I SAID, NOT AS I D00D
To: Donkey
That last being what the kids write when they want to suggest Beavisity
over the wires, I guess. Not being hip to the current scene, I can but
mutely mimic.
All this plotting and scheming has made me weary, H. Do you think it might
be possible for my aunt to come down for a few days and make me tea? And
teach me a novena, things like that?
I'll take care of Arthur myself. I've already got him believing in the
imaginary witch we invented, and the tie you sent is controlling his mind
nicely, I think. We should have him in B-school by fall, and earning six
figures within two years, all of which will of course be deposited directly
into a numbered account in a Swiss bank located, unaccountably, in Panama.
If you are adept at Italian cookery, it might be useful to send him a small,
carefully designed rizzoli. And start calling him "Gilbert".
Malibu Skipper
==========================================================
To: Donkey
From: EJFORD
Date: 11 Jan 94 12:44:28 EDT
Subject: Reply to PROTECTIVE MEASURES
UNABLE TO RESTRAIN LEVITY STOP MUST COMMENT ON THREE HEADED EJ
OFFSPRING CRACK STOP LAUGH RIOT STOP LOVE THAT MAN STOP HE KILLS ME
COMMA METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING STOP SAD TRUTH BELIES WITTY GAG STOP I
AM PERSONNALLY POSSESSED OF THREE HEADS STOP ONLY ONE IS VISIBLE
HOWEVER ALLOWING ME TO PLAY YAHTZE WITH OTHER QUOTE NORMAL ENDQUOTE
HUMANS STOP LOVE AND KISSES STOP EJ QUOTE THREE HEADS BETTER THAN
NONE ENDQUOTE FORD ENDIT
==========================================================
Date: 11 JAN 1994 10:23 -06
From: Merciful Lee Dickens <DICKENS>
Subject: Reply to PROTECTIVE MEASURES
To:Donkey
> I'll have lunch with you when they go off to the corner to giggletogether
> about you again. And you'll do the same for me.
Just for today, mind you,
h760
*** Comments from DICKENS; 01/11/94 10:18am:
Gee, normally, h760, I'd say yes, but today I have to go to the
pawnshop at lunchtime. Unless you'd like to go to the pawnshop *with*
me! There's not much to eat there, but I can show you my tapedeck
which they're holding prisoner...
It, like EJ's offspring, has three heads!
Arthur Is A Weenie Arm,
Merciful Li
Please: No Slave Names
Previous Index Next