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From: "The Caterpillar Cannot Understand the Butterfly" <salsbury>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Thu, 26 Mar 1992 18:31:56 GMT
Subject: Re: Use of drugs to activate the upper 4 circuits?
UOG12006@ (karel) writes:
>Pat:
> please do tell what yonder spaces of circuit V have shown you.
>Also, how did you get from the larval circuits to this one? Do you usechemical means, brain machines,
>meditation, combinations of the above? I'd be interested in findingout.
I've been kicking around recently with some chemical/herbal activators, buthave done
some "natural" work too. With the aforesaid aids, the work is a lot easier,and the effects
are more noticable. I've been doing some "recentering" of my life, getting inrouch with
my feelings, ideas, and general body awareness, among other things. Hard todescribe in
Circuit II language. Lots of non-verbal, sensory stuff.
>Possibly the answer lies withing Leary's `Exopsychology' but I haven't hadthe time yet to go through it
>in totality.
Yeah. Good book. Has some interesting models to work with. I like to pick itup and
review, to try and understand a bit more of my experiences, and givetags/labels to them
to put them into a frame of reference.
>I've had some interesting experiences with mmm mmmm mmmmm marijuana and myShaman brain
>machine... Maybe i've already made it to ciruict V but haven't defined itas such. :-O
> karel
You most likely have then. C-V is a lot of body-awareness, lucidity ofthought, getting in
touch with your body/senses/ideas, etc. Some neat creativity seems to stemfrom there,
too.
Anyone else have ideas/thoughts/comments/questions?
Pat
--
Patrick G. Salsbury|||
SALSBURY|||Desclaimers are silly. ;^)
||| "All bound for Mu Mu Land!"
========================================================================
From: <LIBWCA>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: 05/28/92 11:31:41
Subject: RANCID BEAVER ENTRAILS
It is imperative that LIVE beavers be used. Dead beavers, or beavers trappedin a
Schroedingerian life/death stasis, are utterly useless for our purposes, and Ican only
conclude that YOU, having foisted lifeless beavers on the unsuspectingpopulace, are at
best a willing fellow traveller. Your friends cannot help you. WE are theUbermensch.
We are the Great Society. We are the Pepsi Generation, you little weasel, andthat, friends
and enemies and dupes of Beelzebub, is the great fountainhead, the divinegenitalia from
which springs fully formed ALL neat creativity. We expect you to tithe, andtithe you
shall.
Cuthert The Death-God
========================================================================
From: <LIBALP>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: 05/28/92 11:55:31
Subject: Go fuck yourself. It's the only show in town.
Yeah, I've heard a lot of you milksops yell "beaver" but I've yet to see onethat could shag
better than his own momma. Here's the format:
Message 1: Request for reposting of some damned thing.
Messages 2-7: "Me too." (various contributors)
Cuthbert's absolutely right. The song of the dead beaver creates ghostlyafterimages and
phantom cheerleaders. And some of us have only been hearing the cheerleaders,haven't
we? Haven't we? "I skinned my knee on the Tree of Life blah blah." I wantinstant
gratification and goddammit, I WANT IT RIGHT NOW!!
Fuck you, by the way.
========================================================================
From: <LIBWCA>
Date: 05/28/92 17:33:15
Subject: COWARDLY CURS!
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Goddamnit, where are you little weasels hiding? C'mon out and fight! WEHAVE
YOUR MOTHERS! By the time you read this, they will all be fulfilling thebloated
appetites of that fat old fuck you worship, him and his aging, senile hippiepal. You
commies are through in this town! You and your whole stinkin' brood, by god!
Cuthbert
========================================================================
From: <LIBALP>
Date: 05/29/92 09:36:26
Subject: Charlton Heston
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
The problem, as I see it, is that you can't get good deli on the 6th circuit.Also, our train
was late and it rained. Not that I'm complaining. Not like that woman whosaid that she
was enlightened but just didn't know it. "Do I pay good money for a machinethat doesn't
even tell me whether I'm a Buddha or not for Christ's sake i mean why can'tthey put a
meter on it or something?" Some people just don't FIT IN, you know?
As I was scrawling obscenities on the departmental money, I thought ofBeelzebub, and
those nice curtains he has in his den. You remember those curtains, don't youCuthbert?
You urininated on them. And what about the Braves? I bet Heston doesn't havecurtains
like that, although it feels the same to urinate on them. It feels just thesame.
A.
========================================================================
From: "DANIEL A. FOSS" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Wed, 3 Jun 1992 22:33:13 EDT
Subject: What to be when you grow up [is not in here]
I told you, I'm not a Saviour, I said it from the beginning, i'm not a,
certainly not THE, and absolutely categoricaly never YOUR Saviour. I'm a
Prophet of Doom, a mediocre one at that, is what I am by trade; have no
formal academic qualifications in Soteriology, which is hard and has got lots
of math formulas, and would really never, forget it, even if drafted.
WHAT I DID SAY, maybe not here, I forget, my alzheimer's is on me,
Premature Cortical Destruction, a touch of alzheimer's before 50 is quite
fashionable among canadian anthropologists this year did you know that?
But here I am 51 going on 52. Just Retarded as usual. WHAT I DID SAY to
whomever, anyhow, is that, barring any other volunteer whatever coming
forward, I would wage to the best of my Highly Limited ability the campaign
against Rabbi Schneurson aka the Lubavitcher Rebbe for Messiah in the
General Election come November the Third instant. Eligible to vote are all
male Jewish inhabitants of The State of Israel and The State of New York
otherwise eligible to vote and registered to vote at date and time, pollsopen
6am est, close 10pm est, of the election. This is because Who or Whatever
made these rules thought believed felt supposed assumed I don'KNOW
goddammit that The State of New York is something like The State of
Israel, everybody, everything makes mistakes, you know the story, Jewish
guy in the old country waits two weeks for the tailor to make a suit, sez,
"Six days it took God to make the world, and it took you TWO WEEKS to
make a suit?"
Tailor sez: "Feel the material in this suit and then look at this fucking
world."
Anyway, I would have, had I been formally and not necessarily politely
asked, accepted the SecularHumanist-Democratic-LiberalParty-SocialistWor
kers' Party-WorkersWorldParty-InternationalSocialistLeague-
LibertarianParty-Yo uth InternationalParty nominations for Messiah against
my opponent, the Rightist Reactionary dirtydog, who more negative a
campaigner than I, who otherwise unopposed has the nominations of theRepublican, Conservative, and Right-To Life Parties.
But no, I April 7 came and went, the primary was held, I did not Get The
Word. Yet even at this late hour I would, given half a squared deviation of a
negative attitude however small, wage a writein campaing, better yet get
myself onna ballot by collecting necessary signatures fucking fascist bastard
Perot can do it so can I, WHAT HAS H. ROSS PEROT GOT I AINT GOT?
Surely not Vulgarity. The only thing he's got and I aint is a little money but
this is a tax supported network who givesashit.
My nominee-designate for VICE-MESSIAH is YOUR VERY OWN
FAVOURITE SONess CANDIDATE FROM THE GREAT IRISH
REPUBLIC FREE STATE OF IRELAND AND REPRESENTAT- IVE OF
THE GREAT WHITEPEOPLEHOOD OF EUROPE AND CARD
CARRYING WOMAN! Not only that, AN HONESTTOGOD ROMAN
CATHOLIC. And worse that that, SHIKSA!
I'm sorry, forgot that was racist. <shame><shame>
[Brass band: "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow"]
I MEAN FNORD-L/SBRHYM-L's very own pseudonymous
***** H. UNIATZ! *****
[Brass band: "Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight."]
[Video display:
H760@ H. Uniatz
And now my fellow yahoodies I call for unity against my evil opponent
and the dirty fucking evil conspiracy he represents.
I represent the good the light the pure. I shall say not one word about my
91-year-old opponent's unfitness to live, about his senile dementia, about
his vegetative condition, about the strong probability that Rabbi Scheurson is
ALREADY MEDICALLY DEAD.
AND WE SHALL WIN!
IN CONCUSSION MY FELLOW ARMENIANS I ASK YOU, WHICH IS CRAZIER, THE
POLITICAL SYSTEM OF THE UNITED STATES OF ARMENIA OR...ME!
Crowd: You! You! You!
*****
Just look at that! I performed a real true miracle! I am indeed CRAZIER
that the the political system of the United States of America! And not justthe
political system, but the social, the economic, the occupational, the
educational, the ideational, there is nothing I cannot be crazier than!
But...I need your help.
Vote for me, November 3, Democratic, look for the star.
I thank you. [fade out]
Murphy Brown: Well, Dan Rather, how do you think that speech went over?
Dan Rather: Tell you tomorrow.
Daniel A. Foss
(who never got to write the post he was going to write, actually, so you are
safe till tomorrow)
========================================================================
From: <LIBALP>
Date: 06/04/92 13:11:51
Subject: RE: subjective
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Erq jevgrf:
>ubzr naq yvir ba uvf jvgf. Gurl jrer gb freir uvz jryy sbe znal lrnef. Ur
>gbbx jvgu uvz n lbhat jbzna bs na rdhnyyl veerfcbafvoyr naq rivy
>qvfcbfvgvba, naq gurl jrag gb frg hc "ubzr" gbtrgure ba gur Fpbggvfu pbnfg
>ol Tnyybjnl.
PURNGVAT:
Svther guvf bhg, pyrire qvpx. "Znpuvfzb"! Uryy, V jbhpqa'g rira xabj ubj gb
flryy vg. Pbat, pbat, ner gur nezf bs gur Pbpn-Pbyn Pbzlnal. Jngpu lbhe nff.Be jr'pp orng lbh hl.
Neguhe Lnexre
========================================================================
From: <LIBWCA>
Date: 06/04/92 15:28:09
Subject: RE: SUBJECTIVE
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
In-Reply-To Message of Thu, 4 Jun 1992 14:17:19 EDT from <WS3X@>
On Thu, 4 Jun 1992 14:17:19 EDT Bill Sloan said:
>I know this is probably a silly question but who started this list andwhat is
>its purpose? I've been subscribed for a couple of months now and can'tseem t
> get the hang of it.
>Thanks.
Very good question. Fortunately, my worthy constituent Arthur "Secret AgentX-12"
Parker posted a nice disertation on that very point only this morning.Unfortunately, it
was in code, buy I'm fairly certain the purpose of the list has something todo with
cheeseburgers. Remember, my child: if you act as though you have faith, faithwill be
given to you.
Cthert
========================================================================
From: "SEAMUS MAC CONAONAIGH, U.C.G." <MATMACCONAON@>
Date: 06/04/92 15:54:36
Subject: Re: SUBJECTIVE
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
> I know this is probably a silly question but who started this list andwhat
> is its purpose? I've been subscribed for a couple of months now andcan't
> seem to get the hang of it.
> Thanks.
Shame! Nobody told you? This list is intended as a support group for thoseunlucky
people who have lost sausages who were dear to them.
P. Head.
========================================================================
From:FNJARL ORNAR <LIBALP>
Date: 06/04/92 16:17:41
Subject: cheeseburgers
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
C-Bert says:
>purpose of the list has something to do with cheeseburgers. Remember,
>my child: if you act as though you have faith, faith will be given to
>you.
Corollary: If you talk as though you have faith, faith will be sold to you.Just ask the man
in charge.
My bosses at the Vatican, Dallas branch, told me they were blowing a big gustof fresh
air into this list. The gust's name, I'm pleased to announce, is apparentlyP. Head. Not a
moment too soon, what with Cuthbert gone all Foss-happy. How I envy him.
A. Parker
========================================================================
From: "DANIEL A. FOSS" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1992 20:08:26 EDT
Subject: First Grand Gerundive for the Early Post-HyposemyEpoch (scheduled for
late-May/Early June 1992
The heavy reponsibility devolves upon me to denounce some earlierenthusings as Stupid,
Misguided, Postmature or at best grossly OBSOLETE.
When in the first flush of hope that I was Dying or at minimum Really SickI
did indeed leave you with the idiot epitaph, "Don't mourn for me boys,
hyposemize." Forget that. What else to do? Later in this Recitation (Quran).
First, boys, carry me in that sedan chair right yonder, for I must be off uponmy
rounds TO HAVE MY VENGEANCE UPON THE SIX, MAYBE SEVEN
PSYCHIATRISTS, ha ha, UPON ORGANIZED PSYCHIATRY AS A
WHOLE, hee hee, who told me year in year out for FIVE LOOOONG
YEARSthey told me, there wan't a goddam thing, physically speak- ing, here
take this PROZAC, isn't the white band around the gray PRETTY as all hell,
just banish yer cares away; well, tomorrow betcherass, this dying boy gonna
step down from that palanquin and STICK THE PROGNOSIS UP THE NOSE
of each and every evil shrinko conspriator, and say, "This NONWHITE person
from this INFERIOR country GUYANA is unlike you a REAL doctor and HE
sez I got two or four or six, it doesn't matter so long as it doesn't exceedthat
since whatever the time you got six months or less makes you DYING, dig,
monts to live HA HA HA HA HA HA....
Then revenge sweet revenge once MINE, I am gonna go off and feardeath likea
crazyass motherfucker....
We'll get back to our featured presentation, after hyposemia, whut? afterTHIS
MESSAGE.
Don't flip that dial, Daniel A. Foss, will be right back.
Meantime, it's a wonderful day, enjoy America while it lasts.
========================================================================
From: <LIBALP>
Sender New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date Fri, 5 Jun 1992 14:56:00 EDT
Subject finger fun
>And when, exaclty, did you begin to see these so-called sausages?
Hold your hands in front of your head. Point your index fingers towardeach
other, so that the tips are almost touching. Focus your eyes past yourfingers
and Behold, there's a little sausage floating in space.
Take that, Mr. Skeptic.
========================================================================
From <LIBWCA>
Sender New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date Fri, 5 Jun 1992 13:29:56 EDT
Subject THE WAY THINGS WORK
To those who asked:
This list operates on a 28-day cycle, analagous to the menstrual cycle
or the Mayan Sacrificial Calender, except that so far we haven't ripped
the still-beating heart out of His Open Breast and fed it to the Snake-
God; the proposal is being considered. Towit:
DAY 1: Some lost soul (is the case of the current cycle, one LIBALP)
posts a tentative rant of one kind or another, which is bandied
about tentatively by other lost souls in a tentative sort of
fashion until all meaning is sucked from it's dried shell and
it drops, lifeless, into the ether.
DAY 3: Two days after the Seminal Event, signs of activity are detected
at CHEATING HQ, a re-enforced concrete bunker located somewhere
in the Catskills. The Supreme Cheating then dispatches one or
more of his Temporal Avatars into the fray.
DAY 4: Where there is Cheating, there must also be Uniatz. The
frantically lilting voice of the Irish Demon-Goddess is
heard in the land.
DAY 7: Along with my capable and merciless Division Commander, General
Sir Arthur Leicester Parker, I sweep in from the hills on a
search-and-destroy mission designed to expunge from the face of
the earth every vestagial trace of the wretched existences of
Uniatz, the Cheatings, and any Cartoon Mice in their employ. We
do not succeed.
DAY 9: The heat of battle brings us to the attention of Daniel A Foss,
renowned social philosopher and prophet without portfolio,
who is besieged in his underground retreat at HISTORY. For a
few days, all else is eclipsed as Foss tells us Why Everything
Is Garbage And Don't Try To Do Anything About It Because It
Won't Work.
DAY 10: The "Who the fuck are you people?" Posts begin to trickle in,
prefiguring the end.
DAY 15: The Coming Of Pat. The mighty Listowner thunders from the
mountaintop, purses his lips disapprovingly, notes the lack of
any resemblance to the World He Imagined, and Smites us hip
and thigh for our lack of Neat Creativity. He then gathers up
any Bobbies who have accumulated in his absence and ascends, to
Return Anon.
DAYS 16-28: We all shut up and wait for the Neat Creativity. It does
not arrive.
Repeat until The Inevitable and Swiftly Approaching End. Serve with
crackers and wine of a light, fruity vintage.
CHERT
Of course, this schedule may have been thrown into disarray by the
portentous arrival of Dana Felonious Rollins Cube from his mysterious
retreat on Jazz Island. Await further developments. As Jesus said
to the Teamsters, "Don't do anything til I get back."
=============================================================
From MERCIFUL LEE DICKENS <DICKENS>
Sender New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date Fri, 5 Jun 1992 10:19:00 -05
Subject Reply to dear pat
*** Original Author: FNORD-L @ BUFFALO - ** Remote User **; 06/05/92 10:03
>From: <LIBALP>
>Subject: dear pat
>To: Multiple recipients of list FNORD-L<FNORD-L@UBVM.cc.buffalo.edu
>
Which is more Discordian?
1) Announce that you're forming a new church, rehash stuff we've all heard,
with minor modifications, and wait for everyone to say, "Neato. Sign meup."
or
2) >This list is intended as a support group for those unlucky people whohave
>lost sausages who were dear to them.
?
I vote for #2.
Like RAW says (I guess that got your attention): Those who know don'tspeak,
those who speak don't know. and
A disciple is an asshole looking for someone to attach itself to.
(I realize that's not an exact quote. If that upsets you, then go back and
reread it.)
The conspiracy stuff I like; talking about Reich I like.
The problem is that talk about higher states of consciousness, unless done
skillfully by trained professionals, sounds like bullshit, and probably IS.
I mean, are you gonna talk about water, or are you gonna shut up and swim?
I feel all dirty and hypocritical just for writing this note.
The list is a great idea. To want discussion of mutual interest involving
intelligent, creative, imaginative people is admirable. To expect them to
play by your rules is ridiculous. You could try to enjoy the entropy.
Or you could just talk about it.
Thank you for your kind attention.
*** Comments from DICKENS; 06/05/92 10:10am:
WARNING:
THIS IS TRUE, I SWEAR.
I just heard a man in the outer office say,
"I'm the onliest safety inspector at the nuclear research facility".
Does that send the Tingler screaming up your spine or what? I'm only
a couple of blocks away from that place! Do I run, not walk, to the
nearest exit or just get down on my knees and pray to Jesus, "Help me,
Jesus, Help help me, Jesus!"?????
Man, I get so bummed out sometimes.
I liked the disciple quote.
I'm hungry for discourse! Feed me! Feed me!
chirp
========================================================================
From: MERCIFUL LEE DICKENS <DICKENS>
Date: 06/05/92 12:09:00
Subject: Reply to shame
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
*** Original Author: FNORD-L @ BUFFALO - ** Remote User **; 06/05/92 10:54
>From: <LIBALP>
>Subject:shame
>To:Multiple recipients of list FNORD-L <FNORD-L@UBVM.cc.buffalo.edu
>Dana says:
>I just heard a man in the outer office say,
>"I'm the onliest safety inspector at the nuclear research facility".
Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe he's the "Loneliest safety inspector." He wasreaching
out for help and you, you SCREAMED AND YOU RAN. (The above is parable about
creating your own reality and preconceptions and stuff for the benefit of thecontent
junkies.) I would think you have other things to pray about, Dana, like DFOSSat your
window some dark night.
Yikes
*** Comments from DICKENS; 06/05/92 10:57am:
I believe it was Sir Arthur Godfrey who said, "I felt sorry for myself becauseI had no
hat....until I met the man who had no head". Did you poke the geek with sticksas a circus
child? Throw those big Georgia frogs way up in the air under the thin guiseof scientific
research? Steer clear of twisted mutants like Cuthbert - he's up to no good.Listen to Foss
- the only logical choice in an illogical world!
=============================================================
From MERCIFUL LEE DICKENS <DICKENS>
Subject Reply to finger fun
Date Fri, 5 Jun 1992 14:49:00 -05
*** Original Author: FNORD-L @ BUFFALO - ** Remote User **; 06/05/92 14:25
>From: <LIBALP>
>Subject: finger fun
>To: Multiple recipients of list FNORD-L<FNORD-L@UBVM.cc.buffalo.edu
>
>And when, exaclty, did you begin to see these so-called sausages?
Hold your hands in front of your head. Point your index fingers towardeach
other, so that the tips are almost touching. Focus your eyes past yourfingers
and Behold, there's a little sausage floating in space.
Take that, Mr. Skeptic.
*** Comments from DICKENS; 06/05/92 02:36pm:
Not THE Arthur Parker ... ?
Of Arthur Parker Lincoln-Mercury-Dodge ?
Man! I've been waiting to talk to you for YEARS!
You know those brightly-colored triangular flags that you decorate the
lot with? I'm sorry: I mean, with which you decorate the lot?
Well, do you get some kind of deal on those? I mean, say someone
wanted to buy a bunch of them and decorate something - something
personal and not necessarily up for public scrutiny - could you get
some for that person if, say, they offered to sweeten the kitty, so to
speak? Or made it worth your while to look the other way while a 1976
Camaro pulled up and a couple of nice people with stockings over their
faces jumped out and gathered a sack or two of them?
I'll get back to you.
Obligatory FNORD content: I once shared a bottle of cheap wine with
John Cage at a college party in Columbus, Ga. I asked him who his
favorite Beatle was and what he thought of American girls.
(Feminists take note: this was before my consciousness was raised out
of its own primordial stew. I, of course, would refer to girls today
as "Gyno Sapiens")
Who Do You Have To Know To Get A Drink In This Place,
Felonious J. Cubensis
========================================================================
From: "DANIEL A. FOSS" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Date: 06/05/92 00:40:45
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Subject: After deficiency of Meaning, what is most Meaningful forward step?
Recent documentary and textual evidence discloses that the most abject, contrived,
antiseptic-quality desemifications have had no effect upon the Enemy Elitewhose
bumling, blundering futzing around have only led to the curious result thathad I hadn't
been I Jewish boy I just might have had a shot at Murphy Brown.
What there is to do, immediately, is hopeless and forelorn. On Monday, eachof the
listmembership instant shall receive perptory orders for migation touninhabited states
whose Members of Congress are by Divine Will at this time Republicans whoseactions
are hence predictable under Articles XII and XX of the Amendments to the US
constitution.
An Instutute of American Culture in the Hyposemia Epoch: April 13, 1989
May 18 1992 is under intensive planning at this time.
I'm personally up in the air, hanging by a rope from the ceiling.
Major staff mettings scheduled for Monday.
Daniel A. Foss,
but just let me say that for the zero hours I've known you, Ms Hoffman, it's
been a nonpleasure but, on the other had, a non-anything-else.
========================================================================
From: "DANIEL A. FOSS" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Date: 06/05/92 15:54:52
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Subject: The golden age of hyposemia: Systematization, coherence, florescence,
and decline. Paper presented at third annual conference, The Hyposemi
c Legacy. The authors wish to gratefully acknowledge the munificent
luxuriation in affluence thanks to a grant of $150,000 [xFNORD-
L/d540086/GIWIZ033-1992] from the National Endowment of the
Humanities.
This is not the first time that a federal funding agency has funded the ob-
ject of investigation as well as the research by the investigators investigat-
ing it, a condition foretold by Daniel A. Foss as early as 1974 even before he
found out it was already going on right under his nose at the Department of
Sociology and Anthropology where he was then employed but certainly
wasn't worth the money. (See Daniel A. Foss and Ralph W. Larkin,
Messodology, Vol. 2, on sticky old time ditto sheets, in storage
somewhere.)
Should we be surprised, therefore, that one Merciful Lee Dickens has been
working for the past six years on a dissertation on Daniel A. Foss studies?
Or that he has been moving around from network to network in pursuit of
his quarry for an interview thus far without success?
The foregoing exemplifies *essential* or *absolute* hyposemia.
**** WE INTERRUPT THIS POST TO BRING YOU AN EMERGENCY BULLETIN ****
**** DUE TO UNPRECEDENTED EMERGENCY THE LONG ISLAND RAILROAD TRAIN SCHEDULED
TO DEPART STONY BROOK AT 4:15PM WILL ARRIVE ON TIME THOUGH WILL BE LATE
AS USUAL AT PENNSYLVANIA STATION, NEW YORK CITYTHANK YOU FOR YOUR
PATIENCE AND COOPERATION
*******************************************************************************
========================================================================
From: JUNIPER SAGE <CHEATING@SBCCVM.BITNET>
Date: 06/05/92 11:43:59
Subject: Tedium In Excelsis
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Bravo, Mr. Parker, or, if you'd prefer, Mr. Yarker;
FNORD-L was, in the beginning, a moderately interesting place for the
dissemination of pieces, guidelines and information, on such things as the
Chapel Perilous and auto mechanics who have excessive computing
mechanical skills. All very interesting. But, as happens with every
listserv, from the most ridiculously exacting on through to the all powerful
HISTORY, it runs out of its initial steam and begins to attract others whose
interest extends in many directions from the original idea: I've seen "poet
laureates" appointed on database lists, discussions of local restaurants on
education lists, and, a year ago, the vegetarian list ran a fascinating pieceon
whether vegetarians "taste better" than meat eaters to their lovers
performing oral sex. Add the Usenet slide, and you have that many more
non-academic entries, which certainly does not mean that the "quality" of
discussion is going to drop, but rather that there results in a much wider
variety of expressed interests. Now, you've announced that you've gone
off and begun "private" lists for discussion of the ideas that you can't find
here: from the moderator, this is Bad Faith in extremis. It also sounds very
much like a conspiracy, no ("let's remove ourselves to this quiet corner
where we won't be disturbed ... or overheard ... ")?
For anyone who finds this, as they probably should, an inhospitable place,
I cordially invite you all to join SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM, which has no
charge and is open to discussions of sausages and the rants which Pat finds
somehow wrongheaded but may have a certain truth element that can't be
ignored. Pat, of course, is a member of SBRHYM-L, or was the last time
I checked; he has posted material which there which may or may not be
appropriate here. (In addition, moving to SBRHYM-L has the added
advantage of losing M, who can't access it as of yet.)
Furthermore, any attempts at "New Ways of Thinking" had better be open
to "New Ways of Thinking Which Are Not Officially Sanctioned by RAW
&co.", or it ends in being a bit of a religion, no? (cf. LIBALP'sstatements
on higher consciousness) I believe M. inquired about Anton LaVey a while
ago; not exactly my cup of tea, but does anyone have any recent
information on LePen, or Mussolini's granddaughter? These are very
much old ways of thinking, but, then, so are discussions of conspiracies
(the Zionist Protocals come to mind) and higher consciousness (haven't we
had enough of Romanticism?), so they, too, can be caged in the most
modern of terms.
JS
========================================================================
From: "DANIEL A. FOSS" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Date: 06/06/92 21:56:30
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Subject: Anyone recall who wrote 'My Life As A Clam'?
John Cunningham Lilly is best remembered for a long cold bath in a sensory
deprivation tank, maybe the bath wasn't physically cold, just psychically cold,
while tripped out of his gourd for the whole time or a lot of the time, why doI
care after all these years, old man like me, should I know collect baseball
cards?
In those longpast days of the Now but before NOW, the rule was, the more
grandiose the Drug-related phoniness, the greater the fortune, fame, and hence
the love of women; "groupies," the latter were called in those days. Elsewise,
the worse the condidtion of vegetative psycho tediousness the would-be self
promoter walked away with, rather, rolled or even got kicked downstairs with
going wa wa wa wa. This because twas said long long ere the Now, "Above
all, fool thyself else it follows the night the night before thou canst notswindle
any man." By "man" he meant that, by the rules few want to believe are still in
force, you won or win, women inferior to yourself came with the winnings.
Women who win don't get men lest they keep it all well hid.
I mean, you imagine Anita Hill just wants to go out and have a littlecausal
sex?
****
Lilly, once a scientist of limited ability or reputation, now became a Cult
Figure. Not from what he did but from how wacko he still was.
All he did, to my dim recollection, was write some ostensibly crazed little
book, published in nocover edition, which happened to be getting peddled at
Salter's in Berkeley CA when I was there in 1970. Ostensibly crazed, because I
have spent long, the longest, hours writing fabricated simulated insane prose.
And just as much time thrown out writing what I thought was good sound
sense- making reasonable stuff the Broad Masses took as loony past all bonko
limits. And stuff I can't recall which was which.
As it happened, I was dyslexic at the time. Dyslexia you have just have to
live with when you don't have the Drugs, that simple. Like last week, too. Not
a goddam thing to be done with my limp body and vacant mind before
Wednesday except look into tha vacuous vacuum that's where They told me
Selfhood lay but They it was who lied, and surer I became: No matter how
sickening I am writing prime time FNORDly, it is 9:21pm Saturday Sexnight,
I am sitting on bluish chair committing self-blinding, doing things that areNot
Normal, still and yet the Organic Nature of me is worser than, even.
So there in the window was this sign about a Discussion Group meeting in
the home of one Kelly Swainson to Discuss Groupwise this very book,
PROGRAMMING AND METAPROGRAMMING THE HUMAN
BIOCOMPUTER. Now, I'd known as slightly as I could this Kelly Swainson
in college as what they called then a homosexual and a would be aspiring
candidate for the Top Ten Phonies list. Poor fellow most probably has since
died from having convinced himself that no not possible he could get HIV+
no not him nobody in Kelly Swainson charmed circle. Still I went, with own
hidden aginda of meeting encountering pickingup some other gender than what
Swainson was interested in, the male, but I forgot what that gender is in my
old age. So many different genders around these days. Of course I was correct
and nobody had read, nobody wanted to read, this garble
interspersed with italicized garble. (It wasn't women, I am sure of that,
because I was in many ways back then like Son of Sam who lived in the same
neighborhood, was fundamentally misogynistic beneath the woman-hating,
behind having had THE LAST OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN THE BRONX,
soon to be a money-losing motion picture. It was LSD that changed me; LSD,
what was worse even than women. Behind which I needed a woman present
to protect me from the LSD with sex....
Someone, I forgot who, wrote a parody called MY LIFE AS A CLAM.
Anyone recall who it was? If you do, please tell me, refresh my memory.
Then, at the very end, there was a movie called ALTERED STATES. The
picture was shot, not nearly fatally enough, in the Boston-Cambridge area,
which is pretty easily changed. I dare some cheapass phony acidhead to do
anything with or to the Little Rock AR area.
Rumor has it that acid is Coming Back. Whatsa market like?
Daniel A. Foss,
who wrote this to kill time while waiting for an idea or Godot, whichever got
here first, neither did.
And how are you, Cheryl Hoffman, up there in Ithaca NY where I spent 4
long years? But 7 much much longer years in Syracuse NY....
========================================================================
From: "SALAMANDER~" <MAJCHER>
Date: 06/08/92 22:28:58
Subject: Crocodile Rock ( was Re: Salamander rant )
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
LIBALP (Artsy Fartsy Parker) writes:
>The Salamander says:
>>I'm on two other mailing lists right now that sometimes
>>overflow my mailbox with informative and mostly intelligent discussion
>"Informative" could be in the mind of the beholder, ne? GeneralSemantics,
>whose adventures have been recounted on this list before, would say so.
>Given his transcription of the RAW interview, Salamander hasn't heard of,orat
>least doesn't know how to spell, Korzybski.
Doesn't know how to spell. I've heard plenty of Mr. K, and
General Semantics, and E-prime, and subjective language, and all that...
it's one of my favorite memes, and I try to spread it whenever I can...
'Rant' in the title is exactly right - I could care less about ob/subposting
to this list in its present form...I figured I'd start out with english(noprime)
sentences, and work up to the more advanced stuff later...:)
And yes, 'informative' is in the eye of the beholder. If you can take the
high volume and occasional ego explosions, try the extropians list(extropians-
request@gnu.ai.mit.edu).
A bit technical at times, but lots of good discussion of some good basicprinciples...
oh yeah...
>Salamander says RAW's stuff is basic principles. What the hell?
>One entity's informative discussion is another entity's old hat.
I said that RAW's stuff was basic principles _for_this_list_. This wasoriginally a
space to discuss his stuff, without having to debate over and over the 'basicprinciples'. If
you wanna talk about another reality-tunnel, find the list for it. (or,meta-reality tunnel, in
the case of this list...) And once again, I reiterate my claim that there_can_ be some good
goin's on here if we stick to the original premise ("Premise!" :) ) and keepthe drivel to a
minimum.
>Wanna act Holisticer Than Thou? Read the stuff first.
Read it. OK, so I missed out on Ishtar Rising, CTII, and W.R. in Hell -they're
on order/on my list. Anyone read his latest? (Reality is...)
>One of my complaints about the "relevant discussion" of the old days wasthat
>a lot of it was mere restatement of RAW and Leary and everyone seemed
>to think that was just great. Perhaps in that secret place where the really
>important discussion goes on, things are still the same?
Nope. Take a peek in and see. Lotsa new stuff, lotsa refinement (notrehashing)
of old stuff. You wanna see smoke? You know how it works...
>>...once the crap started flowing, the people interested in discussionpicked
>>up and left.
>I think the Juniper Sage made an excellent point here:
>>from the moderator, this is Bad Faith in extremis. It also
>>sounds very much like a conspiracy, no ("let's remove ourselves to this
>>quiet corner where we won't be disturbed ... or overheard ... ")?
>Overheard. Also, disagreed with. Also, made fun of in a disrespectful and
>irreverent fashion. On the whole, Slandermander's note strikes me as Straw
>Dogs. Unique? Who cares? Is it new ways of thinking or not? Can itcoexist
>with your really heavy serious discussion, or is it not fit to be on thesame
>list? Need to find a safe place to be self-important big boys w/ bigwords?
No. If we wanted a secret safe space where we could mumble ourconspiritorial
mumbles to each other, we wouldn't have started a public list. We opened itup to the
world to get some discussion, and feedback, and criticism...yeah...go ahead -disagree!
_Please!_ It's the only way to get anywhere with new ideas...if they can'tstand up to
some honest lambasting, what good are they? But...please note the difference:
Moe: I think the 8-circuit model is really spiff!
Larry: Hmm...nah - I think it blurs emotions around too much, and makessome
unfounded assertions at the higher levels.
Moe: Oh yeah, porcupine? What about.....
VS.
Moe: Gee, I really think that Wilson has hit upon a few good points here,and
here...what do you think?
Shemp: Squish my Pringle(tm) sausage wibble wibble meow!
Subtle, yes? Some people don't have all day to sift through handfuls ofraw
sewage looking for a brain snack...well, not _me_, but I'm sure that someone'sgot a real
job out there...:)
(And speaking of Straw Dogs, I see that you're no stranger to thehaystack,
either...)
>>Some of us don't need the false front of 'art' or 'uniqueness' orwhatever
>>the fuck you want to call it to look smart to the rest of the tribe.
>Is this a little hypocritical? Who's trying to look smart? I think FNORDis
>usually silly, rather than smart.
I never said that being silly was incompatible with being smart - on thecontrary! I
find that the smartest usually turn out to be the silliest as well! However,silly is silly and
stupid is neither. Fine, post a 5Gig stream of cascades here, post randomentries from the
Encyclopedia Brittanica, and babble about whatever you will...you're brilliant- happy?
Still, I (and the several other founding members, including the Creator)seem to
prefer signal over noise. Like I said before, there's better places toexercize
your...ahem...talents than here. Try posting some of your brilliant work tosci.physics for
a change I'm sure they'll be much happier to see it over there...
>If you think others are
>trying to look smart, maybe it's just that you feel stupid?
Objection, your honor! Ad hominem! Not, stupid, sonny. Bored.
>>"crap" "crap" "fartsy" "shit" and (!) "diarrhea"
>Goodness me. Are we anal? RAW has some things to say about vocabulary
>somewhere, if I could only remember . . ..
'Scuse me...C-II is still under construction...please forgive any of yourproblems with my
anality...NO! FUCK YOU! I'll use all the monkey-talk I want to! I *am*defending
'my' territory, even 'tho I'm not around much anymore, it's really a pissingshame to see
the old place go to hell. First excretia, then ink, now phosphor. Who careswhat it
is...I've already moved on to bluer and wider spaces... you seem to havemarked your
territory well, FNORDers...feel more than free to drown in your own dirtybrown glow..
.
- Majcher | The meek shall inherit the earth, Rev. M |and the wise keepmoving on...
========================================================================
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: Re: self-conscious list soul-searching
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Tue, 9 Jun 1992 10:12:21 EDT
In-Reply-To: Message of Tue, 9 Jun 1992 09:36:54 EST from <HAG>
On Tue, 9 Jun 1992 09:36:54 EST H Angus said:
>On Tue, 9 Jun 1992 09:40:20 MST BOB STRINGFIELD said:
>>
>>Why can not people live and work happily together.
>
>But people do live and work happily together. This list is proof. It'sjust
>that that happiness often takes the form of bitter recrimination,pompous
>self-righteousness, fatuous or gratuitous ugliness, etc. etc. Don't be
>too hard on them. Blame it all on what passes for humour thesedays--just
>watch any sitcom and you'll see that one-ups-manship and snide,insulting
>humour is the norm.
>
>>'free-thinker' resisted so and more often then not -- terminated
>>for the good of all.
>Shh....I'll let you in on a little secret. There are very fewfree-thinkers
>left in the world. The shock talkers/writers and the self-proclaimed
>anti-establishment speakers have long been an integral part of oursociety.
>In fact they are quite a popular part. Just live a few more years andyou
>will find that what you thought was new and unique has already been
>done before.
>
>>Who decides what thoughts are generally good for the world as awhole?
>Usually the people who want to sell you something.
>
>>Perhaps, but why am I afraid to speak openly and plainly?
>Fear not. Certainly fear not on a list like this. Your anonymity iswell
>protected. So someone can see you name and address. So what. On thelist
>you are whoever you say you are. Create yourself. Speak out. This isthe
>perfect opportunity to do so without worrying about what your wordswill
>reap. In no other social situation do you have such freedom. And if
>someone objects to what you say, don't despair. Some people (and they
>do seem to gravitate to lists of this sort) will react in quitepredictable
>ways, ways that others may call ranting, obscene, slimy, etc. It is in
>no way a reflection on the validity of what you have to say, just a sortof
>knee-jerk (or jerk's knee) reaction.
>
>H Angus
Ah, wait a sec... nobody should judge anybody on a list like this...
EXCEPT ANGUS! My mind is flooded with an overwhelming wash of grooviness,
for I have seen the truth! I renounce my godhood. I shall tear the
reluctant Foss-God from his bilious throne! ANGUS-Worship, friends and
fellow shock-writers. That's where it's at!
Oh dear. I've created myself and spoken out, but in the end I am merely
predictable. Woe is me! Then die, sweet Cuthbert...
The rest is silence.
========================================================================
From: "A. LEICESTER OF YARK" <LIBALP>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Tue, 9 Jun 1992 11:44:00 EDT
Subject: I done rent my clothes
I always wondered how a god dies. Boy Howdy, am I disappointed.
I guess now the revisionists will ask, "What kind of hegemon abdicatesmost?"
And what of those who foolishly groveled in your diarrhea? And of thosewho
fought in your battles and wrestled with The Others? Oh, th'pain.
Sniff.
Well, he was Cuthbert and he was a big one. But he's dead now, and we're
gonna eat him. Eat, eat, the instant microwave macaroni 'n' cheese. Drink
deeply the Thunderbird. Smell his rich substance.
This Angus: he's not a foreigner, is he?
ALP
=============================================================
From: MERCIFUL LEE DICKENS <DICKENS>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1992 14:18:00 -05
Subject: WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS
Are there any REAL MEN out there?
I mean I'm talking about REAL MEN!
Men who know the REAL MEANING of blood, sweat and tears!
Men who've busted a blister on the blister they busted yesterday,
Driving those damn rail spikes in,
time after time after time after time,
and never even blinked when the Cap'n KICKED the waterboy
in his yass yass yass....
AMERICAN MEN, Hell yes, Goddammit
Pioneers
who drained the swamps
and killed the gators that threatened to eat their women amd babies!
Men of steel!
Men who drink Brut by the gallon and then send out for more!
Men who KNOW that yes, by Goddy, many parts of that pine tree ARE
edible, and rightfully so...
Men who would like to get together in a MANLY WAY with other MANLY MEN
and maybe move off over that way about a hundred MANLY yards or so
and leave me alone with all these wonderful eggheaded WOMEN!
YAHOO NOW WE'RE TALKING THERE LITTLE BOBAREEBOB
LET'S ALL GIT NEKKID!!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
And go skinny-dippin you fine bunch of female pulchritudes, no lie,
because it's aspost to get up to 95 degrees today!
Whatsay? Let's DO IT!
LET'S DO IT RIGHT NOW!!!
I got a cooler full of beer
and I know a damn good swimming hole
What do you say?
How about YOU, Baby?
Don't worry about them - we'll just have more fun than they will,
that's all!
Waiting in the Maroon `76 Camaro with the motor running,
I remain,
Your Sparkling Drop Of Retsyn,
Felonious "Mr. Sunshine" J. Cubensis,
one HECK of a nice guy honest no shit
========================================================================
From: MERCIFUL LEE DICKENS <DICKENS>
Subject: Reply to until . . .
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1992 15:43:00 -05
>Sender: New Ways of Thinking List<FNORD-L@UBVM.cc.buffalo.edu>
>From: Yunk Parker <LIBALP>
>Subject: until . . .
>To: Multiple recipients of list FNORD-L<FNORD-L@UBVM.cc.buffalo.edu
>
>I got a cooler full of beer
>Haw! I gotta ask m'self: What kinda loser sits around w/a cooler full ofbeer,
>like he's ready to go someplace, if only somebody'd go w/him?
>Guess you don't want them parkin' lot flags as bad as you used to, huh?
>What's matter, nail hit too close to yer everlovin' headbone?
>You know a damn good swimmin' hole? Hell, I know a damn good swimmin'hole!
>>Waiting in the Maroon '76 Camaro with the motor running,
>Motor running! Double-Haw! Don't run outta gas! Hyuk.
>
> ap
*** Comments from DICKENS; 06/16/92 03:43pm:
Haw haw haw
hell buddy
have a beer
haw!
the joke's on old Cube!
fjc
========================================================================
From: "DANIEL A. FOSS" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1992 02:54:42 EDT
Subject: Psychic Plague Alert
Announcement by His Lordship Sargon of Akkad, First Drug Lord and
Pharmaco General of Planet Earth, an unincorporated territory of Republica
Centaurica, under the general administrative supervision of the Ministry of
Unincorporated Territories and Tourism.
Senor Presidente Salinas de Gortari, Comrades of the PRI, ladies and
gentlemen of Earth.
Over two decades ago we commenced contingency planning for the next
wave of global social unrest on Earth, something which the Centaurican
Republic can ill afford at this time due to pressure of the imperialists forhalt
to narcotra- fico in the illegal substance chlorophyll.
Unlike the last occasion which culminated in 1968, no funny business will
this time be tolerated. The enemies of the Revolution and its glorious state-
private mixed privatized economy as concluded in conclusive agreement with
our friends and allies the bastion of freedom of this Spiral Arm are known
numerous powerful and unscruping to any slander as to tampering with the
electoral process on behalf of PRI to embarass State and Party alike during
tourist season.
Rebel activity, directed at the so-called "frittering away of the Statefrom
above and below," is everywhere we look. Leader of New World Order is
basket case. His Number Two is sin cojones. Imaginary woman known here
as Murphy Brown or there as Great Goddess worshipped in sacreligious
processions. Raving clown figure Pierrot le Fou announces he will seize
power. This is however but least of it.
Real threat from below is, as anticipated for decades, revolt by traitorsin
name of Broad Masses against "functioning," "getting through the day,"
"eight to seven" formerly known as "nine to five," and "daily grounds de
cafe." Also, "treading the mill softly but carry big stick."
We watch you, we wise to your sneaky little species.
The "last time" as we called it there was so called dropping out. We have
not again made same mistake you call it money grow on trees. Jobs hard to
find and just as stupid when you find them, other jobs worse. The picture
known to you. Trouble anticipated from people who break down, say
"Unable to Function Sir I kiss your boots," but unable to leave office!
This is the law.
We have sent you a warning. It is called Peru.
All offices where work office workers guarded at night, watchout for
workers who do not go home. Excuse expected is "Deadlines."
Law is now, you must prove is Deadlines or you dead.
I should like now to introduce some dear friends of mine.
"EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE."
I thank you.
God Save President Salinas de Gortari.
Blessed Holy Virgin intercede for us,
Cleanse us of Sin, whose material form is the External Debt.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Viva La Republica
Centaurica Amen!
<You didn't expect them to send the very best, did you?>
<No, but to be a product of Mexican Civilization in outer space, notthat I
am racist or anything, well, isn't everybody racist, really?>
<I thought our troubles were purely human, I mean...>
<They are purely human, these people can't know what they're doing. My
guess is, they left us alone till they got, you know, Orders? Something got
screwed up, we can't be their Yucatan jungle any more, they just come in at
the very end, you see.>
<Oh. this makes a lot of sense now.>
Daniel A. Foss,
reminding you that round the clock coverage of the end of the world is
being brought to you by Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company, Toyota,
Canon, and IBM.
========================================================================
From:"DANIEL A. FOSS" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1992 18:23:36 EDT
Subject: Psychic Plague Alert [cont'd from Monday]
Scene: Somewhere within the innards of the CIA.
"Why was the extraterrestrial wearing a 1930s-style Hollywood B-moviegorilla
costume with a comic-opera general's uniform, for instance?"
"Part of the general problem. They are supposed to be the rulers of Earth,
which they have managed to avoid knowing the first thing about except
there's lots of chlorophyll here. Like Spanish-speaking people in Bolivia
know Aymara- speaking Indians grow coca leaf, don't know and don't care
about anything else."
"Why this sudden, ah, bizarre announcement?"
"The heat is on them from something that runs *them*, and it's their fault
if anything really messy happens, especially to the chlorophyll business. So
they had to say something which was supposed to be meaningful to us, they
didn't know how, they bombed."
"What exactly set them off?"
"The one thing about is they know for sure is, the political party systemin
this country has collapsed, in a matter of weeks or even days. Which has not
happened since 1860. And the only thing they know about them is that they
are by applicable standards a poor and backward country. Which did come
through loud and clear. 'Gorila' is what the Latin Americans call the
generals. Mili- tary dictators. This guy is supposed to be our militaryruler;
he's afraind of getting shot or whatever they do. Salinas de Gortari is the
President of Mexico, so that stands for the big boss back home."
"How did they get to be Catholics?"
"They aren't. That's all fake, a silly try at looking like something
recognizable to us. What they do believe in is that their Foreign Debt totheir
superpower neighbors is punishment for their sins or whatever they get
analogous to feeling guilty about. And since they have no choice but pay it
off but they only get ever deeper into debt, they are reduced to futility,spells
and incantations, might as well call it prayer."
"Are you sure of this?"
"No."
"What would you do?"
"If I were in New York right now, I'd drink a lot of beer and hate George
Steinbrenner, like everybody else."
Daniel A. Foss
========================================================================
From: "DANIEL A. FOSS" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1992 23:24:45 EDT
Subject: Psychic Plague Alert [cont'd from this evening]
Scene: The National Security Council.
Vice President Quayle: As you know, I watch a lot of television, because I
take it very seriously.
General Powell: In that case you'll be among the first to know if they ever
return the favor.
Vice President Quayle: And while flipping the dial I found this two-part
miniseries on SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM, "Rambo is Jewish." About a Jewish
Vietnam veteran who in 1987 personally brought out two MIAs, meanwhile
began sniffing out a nefarious plot involving BLUE HERRING and, har
har, H. Ross Perot! So under deep cover - "Just be yourself, Howard" - he
joined VWAR-L@UBVM [our sister station - df] he collects evidence that
BLUE HERRING and Perot have been defrauding widows and orphans of
life savings for phony MIA resuces that never happened, then the
commandos go into action, see. BLUE HERRING falls out of the sky into a
barrel because that's Foss in Polish, then is finished off by Lee Harvey
Oswald who said he was kept since 1983 in a CIA sensory deprivation tank
with a clam who is really John Cunningham Lilly. Now, what I am asking,
Mr. Gates, is, can you guys really do that?
Mr. Gates: That is not quite factually accurate. Actually, Lilly is an oyster.
And, I am proud to announce, he is about to have a pearl!
President Bush: Ah...ah...ah...ah...ah.
Secretary Cheney: He's talking like....
[Correct answer: Daniel A. Foss on a bad day.]
Mr. Scowcroft: Time's up.
Secretary Cheney: Had it on the tip of my tongue.
Secretary Baker: Not more Japanese food, it it? Somebody call Peggy
Noonan so the President can say something.
Vice President Quayle: Have you heard this one? "What do the Jews
believe?" "After a long miserable life of self-denial, toil, and suffering,just
before you die you go to Florida." Har, har. Say, where did this "frittering
away of the state come from the extraterrestrial mentioned?
Mr. Gates: A computer file on Long Island. Some Paranoid who believes a
copy of every piece of outgoing e-mail goes to us. Which it does not.
Apparently though it is possible that it goes straight to Them. Now I am sure
the next thing you will say, this comes up again and again, is, If the CIA
isn't Them, who is? And I can tell you, at long last, not everything because
all the details of what we are doing are never known entirely to us, we have
at last developed the
capability of keeping track of Them, which was not easy, let me tell you.
Them of course keeps track of the CIA, I might add, with no trouble at all, is
not even terribly interested.
President Bush: <snap> Them is, then, these extraterrestrials?
Mr. Gates: No, Them is located right here, on this map of the state of Tierra
Despoblada, in an adobe hut in the village of Todas Nadas, now encircled by
a pseudopod of Tierra Despoblada City, which has shot out sixteen
shopping malls in this direction since the 1990 Census. And the overall ratio
of video display terminals to inhabitants in the city as a whole has increased
from four to one to six to one.
President Bush: What do Them want?
Mr. Gates: Them themselves do not know; Them says, "If we do not know
what we are doing, we must prevail, we shall be invincible!" And Them is
absolutely right, Them is out of control. That is why you are losing this
election, Mr. President.
President Bush: <snap> Ah...ah...ah...ah...ah.
Daniel A. Foss
========================================================================
From: <LIBWCA>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 1992 11:20:30 EDT
Subject: Re: JR. CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
In-Reply-To: Message of Thu,
18 Jun 1992 08:43:00 -05 from <DICKENS>
On Thu, 18 Jun 1992 08:43:00 -05 Merciful Lee Dickens said:
>Mrs. Eleanor Wibble-Wibble Meow, Asst IX, Science & Technology Dept.,
>is retiring June 30. There will be a retirement party for her Tuesday,
>June 23, 1992 at 3:30 p.m. in the ground floor conference room. Please
>rush-route to all your full-time faculty and staff that they are not
>invited to attend, and furthermore, asked not to imagine Your Humble
>Narrator eating cookies, even though they are quite good,
>
>I Can Assure You,
>
>(Mr.) Merciful Dickens,
>Nightmare Control Officer
>Regency Trapezoid, Sector R
>__ JR. CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
>__
Is it mere coincidence the Mrs. Wibble-Wibble Meow's retirement falls
on my birthday? Can sinister circumstances be gleaned from the fact
that *I* didn't get any fuckin' cookies, even though it is, by God,
my birthday? Is anybody confused by the fact that my personality has
entirely failed to stabilize since the death of Cuthbert? Is there a
way out of this morass of insincerity and fungible assets? Who are we,
anyway, in the final analysis? Take Jeremy Bentham, stuffed and mounted
in a boardroom somewhere in that dreary country we kicked the shit out
of 200 some-odd years ago so we wouldn't have to eat blood pudding and
say "boot" when we meant "trunk" - how did the founding fathers foresee,
way back in what was, after all, an entirely different century, not only
the invention of the automobile, but the addition of a large storage
compartment in the rear, AND the ludicrous mis-naming of said compartment
by the lobsterbacks, thus necessitating a dissolution of the old order
so the French wouldn't make fun of us, too? And how did Jefferson know
that real-by-god-true-blue-muscular American men would someday evolve
to the point of drinking beer cold, by god, right out of the can, leaving
the lime-suckers to sip warm stout in the fog? We can only thank god he
did.
========================================================================
From: <LIBWCA>
Reply-To: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Subject: GET REAL, DRONF
Anything at the bottom IS a signature. Them's the rules, under the
Uniform Code of Military Toughness, and I'm afraid you'll just have
to abide by them. Dronf you are, and Dronf you shall remain until the
board processes your appeal. Even then, I wouldn't look for much
sympathy- most of these fellas are pretty strict lawnorder types, and
they'd just love to string up a sissified pinko such as yerself, as an
example to others who would corrupt or moral fiber and undermine the
very fabric of family values pon which this great nation was built by
all those wig-wearing unitarians who built it, working six and sometimes
seven days a week in the hot sun until the project was complete, dammit,
and coming in under budget, not like that wop movie guy and his artsy-
fartsy friends. We may let you have your liver back, if the snakes
are finished playing with it...
========================================================================
From: <LIBWCA>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1992 13:33:14 EDT
Subject: Re: Geneology
In-Reply-To: Message of Mon, 22 Jun 1992 12:02:00 CDT from <BMAN@>
On Mon, 22 Jun 1992 12:02:00 CDT Bart Mann said:
>Anybody have any ideas where to look up a person's family history? I have
>resently become interested in it. Any addresses or suggestions?
>
>
> Bart
> (BMAN@)
Depends on whose family history you want to look up. I'm assuming here
that you want to look up my family history, as so many people do. In
that case, I would suggest the following primary sources:
-Burke's Peerage
-Vatican Index of Proscribed Publications
-Roster of the Hessian Mercenary Brigades, 1775-1783
and the following secondary sources:
-"Famous Gypsy Chicken-Thieves of Bulgaria"
-"Monsters, Scoundrels and Badmen; A Compendium of the Worst People Ever"
-"Giving the Horns to Henry; Five Men Who Slept with Ann of Cleaves"
Unfortunately, I cannot recall the authors of these fine tomes, but
information contained therein should give you a good start on your worthy
project. Please clear any material you wish to publish with my
attorney, Felonious J. Cubensis, Professional Corporation.
Thank You.
=============================================================
From: MERCIFUL LEE DICKENS <DICKENS>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Wed, 24 Jun 1992 08:33:00 -05
Subject: Due Back 11-22-91
Anyone seen my dog? He was in my surrey just a moment ago. A brownish
sort of affair, about this tall, this wide?
Drat! Father will be furious. That's the third one today!
Melchizedek! Melchizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzedek!
Oh, I'm just beside myself.
Could I get some of you nice Thinkers to help me look for my little
dog? I'd be ever so grateful, honest I would! Oh no! My God! Help
me! I'm turning into Shirley Temple!
(Hey: all seriousness aside:
Q. How many Existentialists can dance on the head of a pin?
A. Everyone knows Existentialists can't dance.
Oh My Head,
Merciful Lee Dickens)
========================================================================
From: DAF <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1992 19:59:40 EDT
Subject: Re: the last word
Salamander may at this late hour have come up with a New Way of Thinking,
don't step on it, let it live, throw money. MM uses dirty words and dirty
words are obsolete, clean it up and try again, C-. DAF
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