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Date: Fri, 4 Jun 1993 14:38:33 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: General Mills <LIBALP>
Organization: Marshmallows for the Original Disturbance
Subject: Electro-shock therapy
MOD reminds all parties that June is National ArborCarnality Month, soeveryone
is encouraged to go screw a tree. As we speak, Merciful Lee Dickens isbusily
doing just that, ensuring that all trees in his rather large vicinity are
securely screwed to the ground, in preparation for .......
The First Annual Fnord Stickball and Tirebiting Games!! "Enjoy thereality!!"
This year, fnord-l takes on jazz-l and the flamethrowers are sure to be set
on "extra-crispy"! Watch out, fellas, those jazzlers really know their
"modes".
MOD - "All the trees that's screwable" since 1985
gm
========================================================================
Date: Mon, 7 Jun 1993 20:36:03 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Subject: Delivering the Meaning to Posterity
X-cc: "William S.M. Clinton" <president@whitehouse.gov>
Mr President, fellow/cosoral FNORDs:
[The occasion for this quasipseudocommunication is the late pronouncement bya "High
Administration Official" addressing a whoknowswhat on the occasion of somepretext in
Austin TX regarding "The Politics of Meaning." The FNORD population has been
practicing said "politics of meaning" from the inception of the FNORDish entitymany
years ago without the slightest awareness of so doing; and, furthrermore, theynever to
this point really cared at all. In that however the dreadful words have beenenunciated,
either of the following is accordingly in order and equally appropriate:clarification or
further obfuscation. In passing, I should mention that the S.M. in the headerserving for
provisional middle initials were lifted from the third-person reference to theGerman
Kaisers, Seine Maiestat, used during the Second German Empire for Wilhelm I(1871-
1888; Friedrich III (1888); and Wilhelm II (1888-1914; whose significance isthat their
names were the answers for one question on an Intro Pol Sci test, now inprogress at this
time.)
I on behalf of my constituency do herwith humbly apologize for the cloud of
unknowing anent your Middle Name.(*) Awareness of the signifed corresponding to
signifier Rodham is wellnigh unversial in these windowless electronicallysurveilled
premises owing fealty to the Dept of Pol Sci, thanks to whom you are alleged toexist. Yet
alas as for your own medial individuator, there is not a single practicingprofessional
political scientist who could if he she it would divulge - this contrary todeparntment
policy which taboos utterances uttered in my direction most especially by thoseof the
female persuasion as ordered by Mark Schneider Dept Chair - said middle name.Even
were I not visually challenged, hence Blind Seer to my FNORDy constituency bynature
and by hereditary right: The New Ways of Thinking Network. Nihil cogitationum
alienum FNORDem; yeaverily notwithstanding even Mark Schneider given hisconviction
that, should I be Sighted, I would view organisms of the female persualsion ina
lewdsexistlascivious or at any rate Highly Inappropriate fashion, whereto Imust respond
that, given the intensity of selffulfilling prophesying to said effect investedin the
eventuality, there is not much chance to the contrary.
[A very late bulletin handed to this writer, that is, I went outside andhung out in the hall
inquiring the Presidential Middle Name from an approaching blur who manifestedas an
academic so emeritus that only quite close was it ascertained that he was noghost rather
medically alive, states that the longsought magic word is, wouldja believe,FNORDs,
*Jefferson*.]
Herewith and on this account, finding the aforenoted tedious subjectchangeworthy, it
has been resolved quite firmly by myself; less so by the second echelonleadership who
are yet young, exactly what they are supposed to be, if a bit younger would bepreferable;
nothing worse than a superannuated highschool pseudo (consider themortification of all
about when such attains candidature for advanced degrees), as I am sure youhave been
well apprised has been most widely disseminated re your intimates,acknowledged; as
well of course as your intimates, disavowed, clandestine, subterranean, orsilent in advice
("input," it was once known) rendered.
Our intelligence as to your partiality to New Ways of Thinking is voluminousand
beyond dispute. (As for intelligence in any other sense, alas, we have nonewhatsoever.
Exclusive of HAG, CHEATING, and SHEEP, of course. Beyond all gross matter you
relish, obliviating the hotdog tout entiere, the freepaly, the givandtake, thetugofwar, of
Pure Idea, at great length, wherewith is meant no earlier than 4am, proferringa most
brilliant synthesis of the irreconcilable, the sort of synthetic thought - farbeyond the
intricacy of synthetics familiar to purchasers of women's legwear as is knownto this
writer to be worn to this day in Philadelphia and duly hidden by groundsweepingWorld
War One vintage skirt the whole a vestage of exhusband-induced lowselfesteemmy good
friend prizes as shield from egodevastating exposure to worse even thanaforenoted
exhusband - which given a chance might have precluded the Reformation; Admiral
Perry's disastrous mistake in Opening Up Japan; or, as we all are painfullyaware at this
time; the fateful Russo-Serbian Allaimce of 1876 which, should you recall that
onceuponatime there were such things as long playing records, gave rise tomovie
soundtrack music by Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky called Marche Slave sold in betterGrand
Unions everywhere and the whole schmeer consummated in the Congress of Berlinof
1878 et sequelae (see The Collapse of Bismarck's European Order, 1983 orsomething).
A stitch in Serbia prevents nine, we are certain you would agree with that.Better still to
have precluded Serbia ab initio et ovo, to have made it no more than a highlyesteemed
pig-producing region of the Habsburg Empire, my father's Old Country,incidentally.
(My friend in Philadelphia is, we should assure you, a very formidable experton the
regional pig trade in question; might have easily used the research done forcareer
development having first used the work for first PhD then book or monographwhich of
course never happened fearing being shown up by younger smarter morefasttrack-fixated
upcoming academics who if same gender would have outsexed the party inquestion.
What we mean is, you can please for us have youknowwho tell Gloria Steinem forus that
*a little self-esteem is a dangerous thing, can kill you, can do much worse,assuming to
be sure total social transformation lies ahead not behind. Everybody's equal,nobody's
equal. Take one look at your crowd, better nobody's equal. Safer that way.
There is a great song wherein the outcast pariah sings, "I used to be amongthe crowd
you're in with." Perhaps you recall it. If not, ask Ira Magaziner, he forgetsnothing and
nobody. And knows how to look-act *importqant* whist so doing.
From the same source in Philadelphia, Mr President, came only last week amidnight cri
de coeur for something the party called "a meaningful life." Few of us carewhat that is;
most of us would be against it if we knew, had any glimmer, or so much as awild guess.
DERRIDA@CFRVM.BITNET, A Discussion of Jacques Derrida and Deconsturction,
who comprise the smartest philosphers under your imperial and lordly rulership(should
you ever resolve to exercise or wield Power, which we doubt it's so out ofcharacter),
would back us to the hilt if they ever stooped to our juvenility.
And - this is sheer vanity - if any or more than a few of Your People weresnooping
recently on the Progressive Sociologists Network, whereon this old burned outcase
totally transformed sociological macrotheory as we know it, it was definitivelyexplained -
retarded as I certainly am, but definitively explained nonetheless, how &wherein the
pseuducocommodification of mental life - the culture, whose job, what it getspaid for, is
the supply, dependable supply, of standardized canned menings, that of Lifeinclusive, is
of necessity eviscerated beyond repair.
Therefore and in summary conclussion with peremtory demand: 1. Explicate the
aforemntioned Politics of Meaning if you dare or if you can. If you won't orcan't,
wontcha please have youknowho have a whack at it. 2. What'cha have in mind formy
friend in Philadelphia? If nothing springs into your head instantaneously,please by all
means sleep on it, discuss it with the folks in the Inner Circle, and do not,please, rule out
a priori the possibility of offering this person a "meaningful job" - theparty's locution - in
a meaningful and responsible policy-making capacity. We thank you.
Sincerely, Daniel A. Foss, PhD, RIP, Hardcore Unemployed, and eyeballs in hockto the
Medical-Industrial Complex on account of health-insuranceless
PS Friend(s), acquaintance(s), etc., in Philadelphia are fictitious compositesof realistic imaginary social
profiles. Any correspondencies with real, quasireal, or essentiallyfigmentational organisms living or dead is
purely coincidental excepting in such subcultures as the Paranoid, the Police,and suchlike, where the concept
of the "coincidental" is absent.
=========================================================================
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu>
Subject: abolish jobs not consuming power
X-Comment: PROGRESSIVE SOCIOLOGISTS NETWORK
Yesterday, in a misguided rush effort to prove I was not a Larouchian, hell,I remember
back in 1974 the Larouchians got out a leaflet on how they were Out To Get Me(and oh,
what an old abandoned Paranoid without an Enemy in the world, what I am now,
wouldn't give for Real Caring like that), I made a maudlin mess. Tonight, inthe
predawn hours before I hear the sounds of the imaginary firing squad, I shallattempt to
write something Serious this time. **** The Nation, June 21, 1993, has anarticle by
Rep. Bernard Sanders (Socialist, VT), "Clinton Must Go [three superfluous words
deleted]," where the alleged recovery from the empirically observed hard timesis
debunked:
|Many of the new jobs being created are temporary, low-wage, no-benefitpositions.
Already, one in three American workers is a "contingent" worker - part-time or
temporary. The ranks of contingent workers are growing so rapidly that someestimate
they will outnumber permanent, full-time workers within the next ten years.|More and
more Americans are free-falling into an economic abyss. At least 2 millionAmericans are
homeless; 22 percent of our children live in poverty, including 5 million whoare hungry;
37 million Americans lack any health insurance; and more and more workers earn
subpoverty wages.
That's the kind of thing I'm supposed to consider upward mobility. Forgot tomention
in yesterday's litany of selfpity, and Bernie Sanders doesn't, that the *job*may be part-
time; the *work* can run to 14 hours a day, six, seven days a week, legalholidays.
Which is how in a Prevous Study I moved into an office in the Psych Quad. Jobbefore
that I got paid in pills to do more work plus somewhat less than carfare; bookssaid 3.5
hours 5 days, clock said 10-16, with 40-hour days not unknown. Boss (="slaveowner")
with the whip hand can beat the minimum wage, can beat the XIII amendment, inthe
Computer Age. Don't listen to me, read Barbara Garson, The Electronic Sweatchop
(useful antidote to Shoshana Zuboff, In The Age of the Smart Machine). If I'dhad to,
you know, become a woman, where Them keeps track of your nimble fingers with
software monitoring your keystroke count, say, you owe 15,000 keystrokes before
lunch, and it costs extra to take the snooping features out of the WordPerfectFive Point
One, I don't think I could have turned in a creditable gender role performace.As ever.
I've been sidling up to suggesting that we give serious consideration to thepossibility
that there is no public policy within the confines of capitalism which is goingto provide
"full employment" or "half-full employment," you know, what was onceuponatime
thought the irreducible minimum unemployment, due to the "structuralunemployment"
which nothing could be done about: That meant a now-utopian unemployment rateof 4%.
This was back in the 1960s, when money grew on trees and capitalism boasted ofhaving
"delivered the goods." The social crisis generated by the delivery of thegoods in
question, not in equitable sufficiency, mind you, but at a qualitatively higherlevel reached
by increments of quantities as the good old dialectical principle would havehad it, and
which threatened the emotional plausibility of the deepest substrate ofideological
assumptions in whose terms capitalism "makes sense," was concentrated in twosocial
categories. One was drawn from a stratum of managers and professionals whom the
working class knew as bosses or socially privileged in teaching their classequals in
upper-middle playgrounds. The other was the "inner city" (racial) minorities,just then
clawing a precarious niche in the factory working class. What they had incommon, and
we are here talking about those young enough to exhibit the motivationaleffects of a
socio-characterological revolution (generated like that of thesixteenthseventeenth
centuries on sustained suocietal accumulation), was situation at the point ofmaximum
contradiction between social possibilities and social actualities. Because theycould damn
well see it, smell it. Those who had, had a need to make a claim on the system,"There
has just gotta be more than this!" Those who had not, had a need to make acorresponding
claim,"There is no longer an objective reason rooted in material productionunder Scarcity
for there to be a need for a bottom; and certainly no reason it should be us."
If a limit of capitalism had been reached by delivery of such goods as Theydelivered, it
should have been the most obvious measure to anticipate in the recuperation:Immiseration
restores legitimacy, They'd hope, to the extent that curious if not imaginarycoalition, first
Silent (tongues torn out?), the Moral but always fictitious Majority could bemade to feel
relief that once-solidseeming armenian way wasn't really melting into dayglopsychedelic
paisley glop. What fun in those days. "I have come to tear down, to destroy,that which
you have worked hard all your lives to build. You did your duty, fulfilled your
responsibility, and the nation is saying, thank you, you can go now."
That the growth in real incomes came to a screeching halt, when you come tothink
about it, bothered incredibly fewer people than one might have thought. Andsome called
it liberation; wives went to work in the offices being built to handle thecollectivized
consumption whereto the System was redirecting the Goods. How can women'd being
drafted (under the impression they were volunteering) into the labor force notbe a
progressive forward step? [Think about it, she makes the differnce between whathe
would have made if given raises like the 1960s and what he actually makes. Andthere are
two people Functioning, not just one. The extension of social discipline.Labortime is
consumed in bigger bites from the household; and who's to say what's socially
necessary? You are free to believe that Marx was obsessed with labor-timebecause he
wanted to avoid getting a job. The latter is entirely true. Still and all, yourtime *is* your
life.
From the quondam "dangerous classes" the working class was now transmutedinto
imaginary "hardhats," putatively a veritable pillar of the regime. Nixon tookthis fantasy
with utmost seriousness in the early 1970s, promising relief for theschool-bus-threatened
and the quota-threatened. This was one of the reasons why the full force ofunion-
smashing was delayed for a couple or a few years; why the productivity growthin
manugacturing industry slowed a bit, for a while.
I have made the following points or assertions before. 1. The old goods thatcapitalism
used to deliver, or so they said, at least faintly resembled the old Scripturaldefinition of
the Commodity which Marx, following the tradition of Ricardo and that crowd,liked to
think of as a madeup lump of stuff, a thing, an article, an object. Whicheither fulfilled a
need or you were gypped, it's defective, it's not really the thing it wassupposed to be.
Culture came into the picture when society started or stopped making the thingobject
article in question, and never was thought about between times except indeciding if one
machinemade pattern is less ugly than another costing the same. Society madechairs,
which could be cushy chairs for patriarchs to dominate the Ceremonial("living") room,
ratty kitchen chairs, this blue imitation office chair under me dictating thatI am staring at a
desktop computer, and the chair the authority figure sits on. Society does notmake
Middle Eastern reclining cushions; nor does it make tatami mats. (The authorityfigure's
chair is more universal, actually, than the chair itself: Thrones, forinstance. In Russian, a
*stol* is a throne; its German cognate *stul* was borrowed for the commonsort.) So,
anthropologically, the distinction between the commodity and the culturalproduct is fake,
artificial. But what is ideology anyhow but making hard and fast fakedistinctions and
making them stick until they are no different from real? Consider books back inthe last
century. Marx was a compulsive author; even he needed a Good Reason to not holddown
an honest job to feed the family. Which could be done when and if Engels paidthe
allowance. If you could tell a book by its cover you would have seen Marx applythe
Labor Theory of Value. But who read? This was a trivial diversion fromprofound
theoretical truth. Until 1850, the Commodity, as article object thing, was whatcapitalism
made for a living. It was also where capitalism was most analogous to what hadpreceded
it: "Surplus value" describes very well the Polish serf working half the weekfor the lord
and half the week on the family holding; I'm not certain whether the idea worksthat well
(or better) for the 1850 factory. for the 1900 factory, forget it. For thefactory of today,
its output is identical objects, yes, but their use value is that the mentallife objectified in
or on them, like the C drive of the thing with the screen or the thin objectin B drive, is
meaningfully different from and other mental life, backups apart. Data keepsgetting
relatively cheaper in this economy. So, curiously, are people.
2. The measured bulk of economic activity occurs in The Office, increasingly asocial unit
where Normal work by Normal people takes place or where Normal people teachother
Normal people how to do what they will do when they do it for real, which ishopefully
to teach. There is in The Office no means of production. It produces notproducts
(objects, articles, things) but documents, files, reports, term papers, drafts,photocopies,
mail whereof there daily increases the portion that is e-mail. The officeworkers, infocrats
or support staff, unlike the former factory workers, can have no idea what ismeant by
"socially necessary labour time' in relation to what they do. They shufflemental life
around, some of which is cortainly important and to be preserved with one'slife; other of
which is wasteful nonsense, some is one or the other there is no telling, andall of it costs
money if not very much. The correspondence between the cost and the importanceof the
mental life corresponding thereto is as a statistical relationship weak. Thecost of the
support staff who shuffle the mental life around is low as pecuniaryremuneration goes.
The entirety of the support staff is forbidden by presumption to possess mentallife
themselves. The stratum above the support staff, the infocrats, inclusive ofpersons
performing the work of support staff but outranking them as gonnabes, arealternatively
hoarded and fired en masse for wholly faddish and ideological reasons. Theinfocrats
fired for faddish reasons may be more like the 4,700 people (including supportstaff) fired
in one day by Aetna Insurance Company on the opposite shore from this place; orthe
Sociology Department at Yale, not far from Aetna Insurance. Aside from thegeneral rule
that doing something long enough generates in the doer a sense ofindispensability of the
doing in question to human life on this planet, the hoarding and dishoarding ofemployees
is not based on personal merit but is akin to lopping off bureaucraticunderbrush. The
most certain "skill" possessed by any employee in question, infocrat or supportstaff, is
ability to "get along" with persons of the same or similar social stratum.
3. In the current economic slump, the system proved itself capable ofarbitrarily doing
without tnes of thousands of employees in a single firm whose services hadpreviously
been construed as critical: How many employees does IBM need? Until 1991 it had
400,000. Now it has 300,000 and this is due to decline to 200,000. The threatof firing
does not however in the least affect the supreme moral obligation laid on everyindividual
to hold a job and if possible to attain upward mobility. The only reasonsrecognized for
not holding jobs are student status, physically crippled, military service,ciercum-
maternity. All other reasons or motives are discrediting or immoral and arecaused by
chemical vices or psychosis. Proof of the moral depravity of the non-employedcan at all
times be easily adduced in the form of exemplary immigrants and persons oflow-stratum
nativity who transcended material obstacles to attain magnatehood orfamed-scholar
status. This ideological imperative or set of imperatives will persist so longas the
economy is capable of supplying lousy jobs in plausible enough numbers. Whatthe
breaking point may be is not susceptible to prediction at this time. The socialcontrol and
social disciplining function of employment has come to predominate over itseconomic
function, where the latter is itself coming to be more ineffable with thepassage of time.
The economically dubious character of activity in return for remuneration isseen most
clearly at the very top of the business world, where the readers of this (ifany) know that
corporate CEOs are paid many millions of dollars annually (while lesser beingsendure
falling living standards); while the services rendered by these magnates areclosely
guarded secrets.
4. The persistene of the socio-characterological revolution was revealed whenit was
found necessary for the Reagan Administration to bribe the would-be rich tobecome rich.
The word "incentives" was actually used. According to an U.R.S. study, "from1982
through 1989, the net worth of the richest Americans [net worth over $500,000]grew at a
much faster rate than the economy itself. The gross domestic product rose 29percent in
those years, while the wealth of the richest Americans increased 78 percent."(Leon
Friedman in The Nation, May 31, 1993.) In another study, 90% of the rise inhousehold
income during the same period went to the top 10% of the households, broadlyspeaking,
the upper middle class. Regan's successor, George Bush, added to this enforced
inequality "The War On Drugs," whereon he had expended $40 billion over andabove
what had already been planned. Sociologists should already recognize thefollowing: (a)
substances are constituted as Drugs by illegality wherefrom derives
vulnerability to persecution, stigmatization, and repression.
(b) It follows that Normal poeple are the popular support for illegalizattio:
that is, people who do not use the substance, never have,
never will, and know nobody who does or is ever likely to.
(c) The motive for illegalization is thus in the mind of the Normal, and is atits core the
fantasy that a strictly and rigidly monotonic function may be created relatinggratification,
which nobody knows what it is, and rank as determined by satus, wealth,income,
presige, power, possessions. Y=f(x) must correlate perfectly; exceptions are
prima facie specimens of *the lowly obtaining chap gratification they have notdone what
is required to deserve*.
(d) In that gratification cannot be defined uniformly; and is at best notional,normative,
and frequently inapplicable (e.g., attractive persons of the other gender drawnto
exclusive gays or lesbians); and the Normals' notion of the motivationalcalculus
governing users of Drugs' efforts to procure the substances being utterfantasy; and the
tendency of any given substance's popularity being faddish; it is notsurprising that:
- In the May 15, 1993 issue of the Economist the magazine in its leadeditorial called
upon the US government to admit defeat by the Ebemy, that is, legalize cocaine;and
reported federal judges' refusal to hear Drug cases because the Drug lawswere cracy.
(f) The issue of Drugs is part and parcel of, is integrated with, istheoretically inseparable
from, the other realms of enforced Inequality earlier imposed.
5. BE IT RESOLVED, accordingly, that
(a) All work which need not be done, or which is believed by the personperforming it to
be unnecessary, bo no longer paid for, though the former employee be sustainedat the
former standard of living. Society saves by closing down worksites.Confiscation by
random number generator of cars and the selcctive and unpredictable closure ofmotor
roads is an interesting idea deserving trial. Surely it would conserve energyand help the
balance of payments.
(b) In the all-voluteer labor force, you are not in it for the money.
(c) Education ends when instinctive curisoity ends. As the pussycat and theflatworm
learn, somehow, the capacity of the human to do this also must be recognized.Militantly
strive to combat the alienate ideology whereby "You cannot learn, we teach."
(d) Free education trhough graduate school.
(e) State policy shall be: PhD for each and all. If I, a retard, could tachcollege, consider
the millions unfairly denied the opportunity.
(f) The presumption of the condition of Thinking Being shall be an inalienablehuman right.
(g) Abolish IQ. We already have the State Lottery.
(h) AT THIS TIME the *central contradiction of capitalism* is the antagonismof interest
between those who are told, "We do not pay you to think," and the far smallernumber for
whom whatever they do is construed as thinking and otherwise higher cognitive
processes.
(i) We are all the same, only individuated to the maximum. If you supposeotherwise,
who the hell do you think you are, some kind of old time thinker? We did awaywith
oppression by that crowd a long time ago....
6. The question of the ownership of the means of production, distribution,and
exchange is BORING and I cannot be brought to get interested in it at thistime. Let
Kosmas work on it, he'll like that I think.
7. NOW! (Before someone finds out the regime in Washingon has disappeared.)
Daniel A. Foss
<The writer wishes to acknowledge the inspiration derived from Rudolf
Bahro. He also wishes to express solidarity with the members of FNORD-L instruggles
past present and future relating to the "Politics of Meaning.">
============================================================
Date:Sun, 13 Jun 93 11:37:53 EDT
From: daf <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Subject: plug for FNORD-L at end of thingie for Progressive Sociologists
To:<LIBALP>
Have sent a file, I forgot what already, there is a plug for FNORD-L at the endwhich
alludes vaguely to letter sent to one Prof. Sandra Harding, NC State,following
FNORD/PRESIDENT post and just before PSN/PRESIDENT post.
I told this Prof. Sandra Harding, who is British and bears some resentment atnot being
"The" Sandra Harding, who is famous, the following: "The subscribers toFNORD-L, if
you didn't know already, affect the huposemic style, which means, it means aslittle
meaning as humanly possible for it to mean. If you are not human you areallowed to
cheat. Any meaning detectable by another FNORDist is proof of incompetence,
negligence, or outta-shape. "The occasion for this was that speech in Austin TXdelivered
by the unnamed person alluded to as "youknowwho" calling for some "politics of
meaning" or whatever...."
I wish I could have remained sane a little longer to watch the fun in thiscountry.
Something is starting up. If I figure out what it is, the secret is safe withme; who
listens....
Persecutors have burned my Enemies List; Paranoid Central has gone belly-up inChapter
XI bankruptcy & court ordered reorganization because the MedicalIndustrialComplex has
called off the Clinton Assassination as "superfluous." Complete set ofconspiracy theory
books prepared in advance of assassination will be unsalable until collector;sitem age is
attained; any anyone who signed anything contributory or remotely possiblycontributory
to the debt is in hiding and cannot be told where they are and if told will notlisten and
immediately forget.
The following announcement appears as a matter of record: THE PRECEDING
ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING A NONEXISTENT WHOLLY IMAGINARY
PARANOID CENTRAL IS A PACK OF LIES DISAVOWED BY ANYONE WHO
MAY HAVE SEJT OR SEEN IT PRIOR TO SENDING WHO IS A NOTORIOUS
LIAR. THE BITNET LIST PARANOID@[deleted] DOES NOT EXIST OR HAS
CEASED TO EXIST OR NEVER EXISTED.
But you don't have to pay the slightest attention to that.
Gonna be an exciting decade, with I wuz here, daf
============================================================
Date: Thu, 10 Jun 93 08:26:47 EDT
From: <LIBALP>
Subject: FOSSAGE
Sender: psn@csf.colorado.edu
To: dfoss@ccvm.sunysb.edu
Subject: MY FIRST LETTER TO CLINTON!
====================================================
Dear PSNers,
I'd like to share with you my very first e-mail message to the increasinglyglobalized White House.
Enjoy!
GS
====================================================
From: CSBINA::GSANTOS
Date: 7-JUN-1993 18:58:29.49
To: @CLINTON
CC: GSANTOS
Subj: congratulations!
President Clinton The White House
Dear Mr. President,
I congratulate you for launching the WHITE HOUSE ELECTRONIC MAIL ACCESSPROJECT.
You will be surprised what happens now! Probably the most startlingunanticipated effect
of this project will be the HUGE world response to communicate to you many ofthe
pressing issues of our times, not merely the U.S.-based response. But it standsto reason:
in an increasingly globalized and integrated world-economy, thefive-century-old political
structures erected to sustain it and based on the nation-state and interstatediplomacy,
cannot but undergo a profound transformation in the same direction. Far frommerely
unleashing the communication and advise potentials of the intellectual andprofessional
classes of a single country, albeit the only superpower and the one which youhappen to
formally lead, your project, and others Congress is sponsoring, will unleashthe world's
social movements from their national straightjackets and press theirpeople-based issues --
forget the states! -- unto their true, globalrulers.
The problem, of course, is that although the communication channel betweenrulers and
ruled has now become greatly enhanced and made almostinstantaneousluaccessible on a
world scale, you remain, as I am sure you are keenly aware, woefully
UNREPRESENTATIVE of your truly world-citizens.
Alas, what an incentive to globalize that great rallying cry of the AmericanRevolution: No
Taxation Without Representation. Eventually, the whole world will demand, Ipredict
we'll live to see it, to extend the fundamental democratic right to vote toelect those that
run the world-system, namely, the President of the United States! And howappropriate
that you are laying the foundations for this political transformation tohappen. It has
always been like that, as the Bourbons might have agreed.
Good luck and thanks!
Sincerely yours,
Dr. Gonzalo F. Santos Department of Sociology and Anthropology California State
University at Bakersfield
Internet: GSANTOS@
============================================================
Sender: psn@csf.colorado.edu
From: "Sandra Harding" <HARDING@>
To: dfoss@ccvm.sunysb.edu
Subject: Ethnocentrism
Dr Santos, I'm afraid I really didn't "enjoy" at all.
I, too, think that e-mail access to the White House is a positive step. And itmay even be
that this is an important step in the globalization of communications.
But, really Dr Santos, how ethnocentric of you to imagine that this developmentwill
result in "the whole world demand(ing)...the democratic right to vote to electthose that
run the world system, namely, the President of the United States!"!!!! It seemsto me that
any useful speculation on a democratically-run world system needs to dispensewith ideas
such as `superpower' as well as any inflated self-image of the importance ofany one
nation-state. Unless we do this, any future world system stands condemned atthe outset
as merely extended domination by a pre-existing state.
Just to be clear where I am coming from, I am a foreign national (I certainlydon't think
my country should be in charge either!) - and there are many others fromoutside the U.S.
on this network. I find ethnocentrism of the type `shared' by Dr Santos quiteoffensive.
Sandra Harding Department of Sociology and Anthropology North Carolina StateUniversity.
========================================================================
Date: Tue, 08 Jun 93 12:45:27 EDT
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@ccvm.sunysb.edu>
Subject: how i forgot about homer and what i told agamemnon
To: "Sandra Harding (writer of most lyrical sociological prose inuniverse)" <HARDING@>
Dear Professor Harding:
The most treasured compliment in my scrapbook, shared with ex-coauthor, was,"At
last, two [organisms] who don't write like sociologists!" Maybe you feelanalogously, I
mean, tooish. As topics go, Homer Simpson came to approximate the Highly
Inappropriate when contemplating living up to correspondence usage andstylistic
standards set by a fine craftswomanperson of keyboard artistry as thyself.
Yes, I do put women on pedestals; this is for own protection; cannot discussfurther.
David Halle, who even before he was hired at Stony Brook was recognized asone of
the greatest sociological minds of this or most any other generation. When hisbook,
America's Working Men, was published in the New Age mystic number year, 1984,the
findings, notably those anent "the roots of class consciousness," may well haveshaken
France to its foundations, though this cannot be proven. The sad end ofPulantzas may be
plausibly linked to intimations of Halle's preliminary findings. AlainTouraine, inventor
of The New Working Class, was certainly in no position to dignify Halle's
incontrovertiby proven disconfirmatory results, computerless as they may havebeen.
Louis Althusser was straitjacketed in his cell enjoying a private screening ofthe
neverfilmed Signourey Weaver double feature Alien: The Premake <plus>Aliens Minus
One, two Algerian attendants outside cell yet audible within: "How do theAlthusserians
use his murder of his wife to illustrate his theory of contradiction andoverdetermination?"
"On the one hand he was psychotic so had no idea whatinhell he was doing. Onthe
other, the bitch deserved it." [Enter slave, er, Research Assistant, withAmerica's
Working Men in mint condition.] "Aaaaaaaghaaaaaghhhhhhvvvbghgurgl."
Francois Mitterand alone was unperturbed. As President of the Repubic hisduties were
twofold. (1) To personify imperturbability. And (2) to exemplify anachronism,to *be*
anachronism incarnate. Here, now, having at hand proof positive that he'dattained far far
greater anachronism than he had ever known before; nay, well beyond theanachronism
exhibited by each and every one of his predecessors as President of the VmeRepublique
from de Gaulle to his own first term, he knew bliss beyond all knowing.
Here in the USA, where it Really Happened, nobody noticed.
With the aid of the yellow markings marked on the italicized words by theprevious
owner of the previously owned copy, Halle's startling findings are - if notexclusively -
thuswise. (a) The workingman insists that work must be *hard* to qualify aswork. It
gives with physical exertion, strain, ooooooouuuugh, and other suchlike,leading in the
end to lower back pain. (b) Most always should properly be done standing up,not
sitting down, which Homer Simpson does. (c) Is, quite essentially, dirty,that is,
conducive to attaining the state of *dirty*, that is, in a condition ofschmutzification.
Homer Simpson wears unwork shirt cum necktie. (d) Any woman who meets criteriaa,
b, and c is a workingman, period. (e) No real workingman has ever been known tomess
with disengendered words; nor can anyone imagine anyone being allowed to do itif any
such attempt were essayed. (f) Specific queries as to the Workingman stature of
Professor, gender unspecified; Professor, male; Professor, female; andProfessor, David
Halle were answered naaaaaaaaah without exception. Thus spake New Jersey, where
Alex Hamilton invented the factory operative in 1792 wherefor to this day wehonor AH
on the $10. And within New Jersey the very union members of the union (OCAW)led by
then working class hero in his then Polish identity, Big Stanislaus Aronowitz.(Currnetly
living out his initial, original, and predestined destiny as Dept Chair ofSociology and
Multicultural Studies).
Under separate cover I'm sending a post to FNORD-L@UBVM (New Ways of Thinking
List) with Cc: PRESIDENT@WHITEHOUSE.GOV. The subscribers to FNORD-L, if
you didn't know already, affect the hyposemic style, which means, it means aslittle
meaning as is humanly possibe for it to mean. If you are not human you areallowed to
cheat. Any meaning detectable by another FNORDist is proof of incompetence,
negligence, or outta-shape. The occasion for this was that speech in Austin TXdelivered
by the unnamed person alluded to as "youknowwho" calling for some "politicsof
meaning" or whatever. The conception, to me, was unexceptionable. Theexecution
though, as you shall see for yourself, is a horse of a different barrel offish. Today gives
another letter, this time on PSN Cc: PRESIDENT@WHITEHOUSE.GOV, this time
about the new central contradiction of capitalism.
The thing of it is, as thay say on this Island, is, you can't expect anyresponse from a
human; only from a machine. And the WhiteHouse Listserv zips back a responselike zap.
A joy to communicate at it.
Sincerely, Daniel A. Foss
=========================================================================
Sender:New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From:<LIBALP>
Subject:Re: Delivering the Meaning to Posterity
Don't, Daniel, just don't. I don't think they're going to hire a HyposemiaCzar, and you
might get in trouble besides. Also, whatever clout Fnord-L has with theadministration
should be conserved in case we have to save one of our buddies from theimmigration
department.
Disregard the above if you're cleverly positioning yourself for Whizzer's job.Refusal to
discuss abortion is, as we have seen, NO IMPEDIMENT to a career as SupremeCourt
Justice, and your willingness to refer to Scalia as "that know-it-all wop" is aplus.
best of luck, ap
=========================================================================
Reply-To: DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu
Originator: psn@csf.colorado.edu
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.sunysb.edu>
Subject:The Image of Crisis or Crisis of Image in the Current Situation
Comrades, colleagues, sociologists, those Left out of the Democrats, thoseRight in,
Independents, and, uh, I can't say it, let us now break barrel together; let usspill out
cookies unto world peace and universal love. And, I forgot, friends, if any. Onthis night
we banish Daniel and, we swear, keep him that way. [Note: "Foss," surname ofpresent
writer, is Polish for "barrel," conducive under present circumstances toaffective
neutrality; whilst "Daniel" is barred for divisive allusions, associations, andrhetoric of a
Left-adventurist tone. E.g., "He shall subdue kings and he shall speak wordsagainst the
exalted and shall wear out the saints of the most High, and he shall think thathe is able to
change times and laws." No more of that. We are calm, rational, and avowedly*tolerant*
of Christianity, come what may, and it's June, even.]
We come, this night, not to make a mockery of this Administration nor of theNation for
which it stands. This, regrettably, is already prevalent, not our doing.Onceuponatime, to
be sure, we did actually cast our pearls of wisdom before the swine ofrepression, did
cast into contumely the quondam Nixon and all his works to the least of theundernixons,
this we did in the fullness of smug selfsatisfaction. In this grave hourhowever it is the
Press which does it; and slap a color picture on the Press, turn on the Tube,and, lo, it is
now the *media*. [Note: properly syntacticized, the Press *is*; the Media*are*. Source:
Wm. Safire.]
Just two examples, if you please.
TIME: The Incredible Shrinking President (June 7, 1993) Newsweek: What's Wrong?
Phew! A Win in the House...Ugh! A Mess in the White House (June 7, 1993)
For every Thing or Quasi-Thing detected by the Press or the Media, there isrequired an
Explanation by certified Explainer or Explainers as to what and why and whynow. And
is it anyone's fault, if so whose; elsewise is it just one of those things,just one of those
crazy things, one of those bells that now and then rights. [Note: The fullestExplanation
of Explaining and Explainers on the theoretical level known to this writer isthat by John
H. Gagnon, in a file folder marked Soc 591: Sociology of Everyday Life. Anobstruction
encountered by Professor Gagnon entails the possible conamination of thepractice of
Explaining itself, even the "moral career of the Explainer," by the act ofstudying it. That
this fear is not entirely inane is indicated by Preliminary Studies. Thecontributions of this
writer in the present essay may, if the reader prefers, be construed asentirely insane,
inane, and a pain.)
In the deadlinecrazed rush to Explanation, it is quite normal for theExplainer, as this
writer has noted, to Explain the Explanation of the Explanandum before, perhaps
considerably before, the Explanandum has yet appeared in print let alonerecognized as a
Thing demanding Expanation. Such is the case here. The Economist, the mostquite-
British of any newsmagazine published in New York, in its issue dated June 5,1993, p.
21, "Bill Clinton's Trubles," we are given a routine tour-de-force ofExplaining an
Explanandum which may exist, not exist, or anytwhere inbetween.
The lifeblood of the Explainer (higher order) is the grand gesture ofbrushing-aside-the-
superficial. [Note: Where is Gagnon to decipher his own handwriting when theworld
needs it? In France, that's right.] The superficialities swept, blown<poof> away are
always the commonsense: Most often this commonsense is of the form, (a) Is thisReal or
at least Realish? (b) If yes, is it real the way it looks or some other way?(c) If the latter, is
the Underlying Reality more or less Serious than the Overlyingsuperficialities?
The president, convinced that his real problems are not of substance, but of
"communication", then hires as his chief communicator a man of the oppositeparty.
Accept this...and you might conclude that Mr Clinton's presidency is over.Some do....
Too early: Mr Clinton's May was not quite the disaster the sketch makes itseem.
But to be more than a failed one-term president, he must be driven by thesebrickbats to
decide what kind of president--indeed, what kind of man--he really wants tobe.
Beneath the Real Serious Trouble as overlaid by the Misleadingly SuperficialHangups
the portentous Explainer is morally obliged, given a protracted, nigh eternal,history or
track record of Pronunciation & Enunciation upon Matters of Greatest,Gravest Moment.
So here.
The difficulty stems from an historical anomaly. Economists are in broadagreement
that the period from the end of the end of the second world war to the early1970s was
peculair. [Note: So is this writer, and among his nuttiest proclivities is toprincipledly rave
that there's more stuff possible than what most economists agree with.] Between1913
and 1950 American GDP per head grew by an average of 1.6% a year. Between 1950and
1973 it grew by an annual average of 2.2%; since then it has grown by about1.5% a
year. America's productivity growth in the 50 years before the depressionaveraged about
2% a year. In the 1930s, it fell to half that. After 1945 productivity growthsoared to as
much as 4% a year, but by the mid-1970s it was back on the historical, 2%trendline.
The burst of growth and prosperity in America after 1945 had socialconsequences
that were unprecedented anywhere in the world. It created a huge pool ofwell-paid low-
skill jobs, which in turn lifted family incomes But the golden age could notand did not
last. Somewhere around 1973, the upward movement in family incomes stalled.
American economic dominance ended when the Bretton Woods system of fixedexchange
rates collapsed. An economy which had been virtually self-contained for 20years after
1945 suddenly found itself severely tested by international competition....
Comrade Colleague Social-Transformationists! National Leaders! There's a coupleof
things wrong here. "But the golden age could not and did not last." The reasonfor this is
not that, well, God got bored or something of suchlike nature. No. What killedthe goose
that laid the Golden Age was the social characterological revolution generatedby a
sustained period of societal accumulation. (For illustrative comparison onemust go back
to the 16th-17th centuries; the Puritan Revolution in England; the Cartesianscientific
revolution in France; the state-building of Richelieu; and, generally speaking,the
characterological ascendancy of the Rational Calculator posited in our socialscience till
recently but seemingly eternal human-naturalistically only because we take itfor granted.
On the contrary, in the 1960s it was assumed, increasingly, that money did growon
trees, that prices were ludicrous and social discipline superfluous. Such wasthe meaning
of dropping-out.
Nor did family incomes cease to rise simply by mirrors. The most primordialideological
assumption of capitalism is Scarcity, there's not enough to go around so youmust grab
yours whilst the grabbing os good, all things must continue to have prices ATALL
COSTS. When capitalism ceased to Deliver The Goods (to the household), as to alimited
extent it had seemed to do in the 1960s, it thereby liquidated thedropping-out. What was
not paid to wageearners was devoured by office expenses and suchlikecollectivized
consumption.
Capitalism now delivered the goods to itself.
As long as the trade unions remained, productivity growth in industry had tofall as
pressure on the number of jobs grew. Employment meanwhile grew in offices where
growth in productivity was zero. 0%. Nada. Nichevo. By the Reagan accession,the
entire manufacturing-industrial sector was driven by the office equipmentindustry,
subsidized by "investment tax credit albeit nothing was produced except files,record,
information.
Capitalism had gone out of the business of producing Things; jumpedwholehoggedly
into that of self-monitoring activity (the files it kept on itself); culturalproducts; travel
products, that is, human-shuffling; and the fluffing up of other people's mindsby use of
hi-res graphics, invalid or otherwise statistical procedures one more faddishthan the last
(whatever happened to loglinear analysis?), and what your close-comrade-in-arms(till he
got stuck with the doggie house of any administration, the Labor Dept), Robt B.Reich,
called Symbolic Analysis Services.
Buying and selling the culture, which is the mental life of society, aspseudocommodities
(since when you sell my mind, oh somone please buy my mind, you drag the restof me
with you), eviscerates the culture's capacity to confer canned, standardizedMeaning upon
Life. This is a tangled mess too long to do justice to here. But it's whyyou're calling for
Politics of Meaning to zap the Crisis of Meaning. People around here read ithere first.
And in Reagan's reign the making of Things became almost downright Deviant whenthey
fired the workers whose factories were what contributed such productivityincrease as
occurred. Let the Indonesians do it. Americans, we shall make the worldsReports in their
plasticovered splendour; we shall be culturevulture, musicbutcher to the world.God bless
Akio Morita amd Rockefeller Center, Amen.
I fear I'm getting Patriotic, ugh, so I say goodnight but shall return dailytill comes time to
lay my burden down.
Sincerely (really) yours, Daniel A. Foss
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 1993 15:52:15 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBALP>
Subject: YOU FINE YOUNG PEOPLE
Hey kids, I mean, who cares whether we're really gonna die or not, because,
like, I really dig the way this thing has brought us all together, so,
y'know, why don't you all come over to my place and we'll sniff glue....
Actually, I believe Our Listowner planned it this way. He's a luv broker.
(What'd I say?) I said a luuuuvvvvvvvvv broker. High on Murali, that's me.
I'm so high I'm pissing patchouli. I think I'll sing: "...whitebiiiirrrrrd.."
Hell no, I'm not drunk like that Robert Holder was. I'm a glue man.
"Where's Art?" somebody asks. "Visiting his friend Elmer," someone reply
and then they all wink at each other. It's cute, but stupid.
Goodnight Leri-L, I love you,
ap
=============================================================
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 1993 08:58:00 -05
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: Merciful Lee Dickens <DICKENS>
Subject: SPLITSVILLE
Anybody remember a political cartoon back in the 1980 US Presidential
election that showed Carter and Reagan as Hell's Angels, riding these
huge choppers, with John Anderson sandwiched in between them - wearing
a little beanie and riding a Moped, saying to them "Where are we going
NOW, guys?" ??? It was a classic, but I digress.
The Question At Hand would seem to be:
Should we find some Little Old Ladies' Clubhouse and take it over, now
that Fnord-L is about to sputter like a cheap citronella bucket candle
that Bucky knocked over, causing all the wax to melt off to one side,
relocating the wick into this impossible configuration that now makes
it burn sideways and continually go out, leaving me in a massive rage
of frustration no alternative but to finally pick the goddam thing up
by the handle and swing it way the hell out into the kudzu and resort
to spraying Deep Woods Off all over myself if I want to be able to
relax on the front porch and sip moonshine that some kid gave me and
not be plagued by the infernal horde of hungry-assed mosquitoes that
hover over me in a chthonian cloud that resembles in my delirium
nothing so much as the thrice-cursed visage of US Senator Bob Dole, no
relation to my nose of to those Millionaire Pineapple Baron Doles?
Or do you think Whatshisname was bluffing about demolishing our crib?
I've got an idea: Let's just go over to Foss's Stay-Free Mini-Pad and
set up light housekeeping, see what's in the fridge, shit like that!
I Wonder if he's got any Smothers Brothers albums...
Or Not,
You've Been A Great Audient!
Thank You And Good Night!
Merciful Lee Dickens
The Leader In Walking Two Parking Meters Ahead Of The Meter Maid And
Dropping A Nickel In The Expired Ones Just To Piss Her Off Since 7:45
============================================================
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 1993 13:03:36 EDT
From: EDDIE@DOWN.THE.STREET
Subject: Re: PAROLABILITY QUESTION
In-Reply-To: Message of Wed, 16 Jun 1993 12:44:48 GMT from<CECIL@HOUSE.OF.CECIL.ORG>
On Wed, 16 Jun 1993 12:44:48 GMT <CECIL@HOUSE.OF.CECIL.ORG> said:
>Dear Mr. Foss:
>
>Never mind, I've gone forth and employed the imperial method.
>
>Hey, Billy, y'okay, li'l buddy? That mean ol' Supes'll never bother you>again. It'll be okay.
>
>Daniel A. Foss, however, is another matter.
>
>In the event that majcher is not merely turning on all the lights because
>the role of older brother with a superiority complex suits him socharmingly, >
CYNOVY has suggested in private correspondance [sic] that wemight all sashay
>over to HRD-L, which apparently is a most droll arena.
>
>peace, man,
>
>Winthrop, Cecil's younger bro
Dear Winnie, you're brother is stinko. I hate him 4-ever. He is a jellyfish.
The imperial method is double-stinko. The Whiplash method is real nice and
honest. Their is no reason for you to be mean to it.
"Droll arena"? U R STINKO!
Eddie
============================================================
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 1993 13:25:28 EDT
From: Cecil@CECIL'S.HOUSE.ORG
Subject: Re: To Cecil with love...
In-Reply-To: Message of Wed, 16 Jun 1993 15:41:10 -0600 from <SEAYM@>
Ha ha. You wrote a very funny rhyme, Seaym. If I put a bicycle pump in your
brain, how big would it get before it blew up? If you would like to know, I
can do it for you, for only $5.
Cecil
========================================================================
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1993 14:25:57 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBALP>
Subject: Re: MRC with the GCL
To: Multiple recipients of list FNORD-L<FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri, 18 Jun 1993 13:08:44 CST from <GS0383>
Here avoiding the smart-ass tack:
On Fri, 18 Jun 1993 13:08:44 CST MW said:
>When you talk like a redneck you never know who might listen and take
>you seriously. You shouldn't say things you don't really mean becausethere
>might be some McElwre clone or some nutcase looking for support for hisown
>sincerely redneck sentiments who might feel strengthened and uplifted by
>your facetious attempt at humor.
Oh, so we can't joke around anymore because a lunatic might take usseriously?
That's no way to live one's damn life, MW. No way at all.
First, if a nut's looking for confirmation, he can find it anywhere he wants
to, he doesn't need help. You can replace "nut" with "average Joe/Jill" if
you like, and I think that sentence will still hold up.
Second, so what? Trying to take responsibility for how stupid other people
MIGHT be is an onerous task at best. In my opinion, it's not worth thetrouble
and will only cause unneeded guilt. It also discourages intelligent and/or
subtle discourse because everything has to be couched in the simplestpossible
terms, dumbed-down for the lowest common denominator, so that nobody
misunderstands and receives undeserved strengthening and upliftment.
What you're advocating, Melanie, is television.
>I think I've had enough of this sneering vicious testosterone-drivenlist
>so don't look for me to respond to your smart mouths anymore.
Yeah, well take a lesson here: after your follow-up post, I went and
kicked Murali's ass like you said, and you know what? I learned that
violence is no solution. So sometimes that boisterous macho talk can
have good effects after all. Murali's not so sure, but he'll come around
eventually.
regards,
ap
========================================================================
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1993 14:20:26 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: Re: MRC with the GCL
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri, 18 Jun 1993 13:08:44 CST from <GS0383>
On Fri, 18 Jun 1993 13:08:44 CST MW said:
>Mitchell McGurdy (lesser) said that the people on Derrida are pussywhippedand
>that literature is for maggots, and I just want to say:
>
>When you talk like a redneck you never know who might listen and take
>you seriously. You shouldn't say things you don't really mean becausethere
>might be some McElwre clone or some nutcase looking for support for hisown
>sincerely redneck sentiments who might feel strengthened and uplifted by
>your facetious attempt at humor.
>.
>And another thing - men who talk about men being p--w-- are usually men
>who can't find anybody to get whipped by, so you better watch what you
>say, your insecurity's showing.
>
>I think I've had enough of this sneering vicious testosterone-drivenlist
>so don't look for me to respond to your smart mouths anymore.
You are correct, my dear. Humor is evil. We must fight and fight so that
man may be forever free of the funny. My advise to all of you is this:
remember that when you laugh, the devil pops a boner.
I'd type on, but I see that the little red needle on the testosterone
dial is approaching "e", and I have to stop off and oppress some working
class eskimo women, get back up to speed.
========================================================================
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1993 11:35:22 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: Re: Beats Me.
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri,
18 Jun 1993 14:56:00 EST from <DMargett@>
On Fri, 18 Jun 1993 14:56:00 EST Duncan Margetts said:
>Hi Cobbers,
>
>I've recently subscribed to this list as the title piqued my interest,but
>I've watched open mouthed and flabbergasted at the codswallop that seemsto
>permeate it.
>
>
>Duncan.
Fair dinkum, mate. A right lot of swaggie bucks, is we. Put a blinkin'
deaner to it. Rum go, that. Don't let the billycan hit you in the ass,
etc. on yer way out.
============================================================
Date: Wed, 23 Jun 1993 00:04:45 EDT
From: CECIL@CECILS.PRISON.CELL.ORG
Subject: O I SHALL CEDE
Dear John Fitzgerald Kennedy, I have a disease. When Merciful Lee Dickens
laughs, it makes it seem like Merciful Lee Dickens is laughing at me. This
causes me untold frenzy. If I die soon, my Mother will cry. She does not know
about my little assignment.
yours slowly,
Cecil
============================================================
Date: Thu, 24 Jun 1993 08:56:14 EDT
From: CECIL@CECILS.WASHHOUSE.ORG
Subject: HOW CAN I MAKE MY EYES STOP ROLLING?
Dear Merciful Lee Dickens, For shame. If you call these people "boneheads" and
"drunken geese" you will be awarded points for veracity but maybe they will
have troubles with their self-confidences like I once had with mine and they
will not help me with my little assignment. I woke this morning in increasing
despair. If Daniel Foss does not assist I shall ... be over. I know you mean
well.
yours, watching the eggtimer,
Cecil
============================================================
Date: Thu, 24 Jun 1993 10:17:51 EDT
From: CECIL@LOVES.YOUNG.DREAM.ORG
Subject: SOME LIKE IT SHOT
Dear Miss Monroe,
That blue really suits you. Is there anyone else you would like bumped off? I
love you. Melanie and I are just good friends. She does not inspire devotion
in me like you inspired devotion in me back when I was devoted to you. As I am
now. My little assignment is for you. For you only.
yours, yours, yours,
Cecil
============================================================
Date: Fri, 25 Jun 1993 04:26:40 EDT
From: CECIL@CECILS.CARDBOARD.BOX
Subject: CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Dear Natasha Fatale,
The items that I need are as follows: the Love of a Good Woman, some used
chicken-wire, medication for my birth-mark. Daniel Foss is obtaining all else
that is indispensable. For my little assignment. It is good of you to allow
me to cause you tedium with the urgency of my lack.
yours modestly,
Cecil
============================================================
Date: Fri, 25 Jun 1993 06:42:42 EDT
From: CECIL@CECILS.SHRINE.TO.WHIPLASH
Subject: I HAVE A NEW AWE
Dear Robert Holder,
Welcome back, man. I missed you. Can you send me a list of my favorite books
so that I do not look bad when the others discover I have read nothing since
third grade? Also choice sentences to convey my enthusiasm for the works. I
hear there was a chap called Plato, chiz, we start with him? This has nothing
to do with my little assignment but I reckon I should be cultured as otherwise
I will have no friends.
yours delightedly,
Cecil
============================================================
Date: Fri, 25 Jun 1993 09:17:17 EDT
From: CECIL@THE.PETTY.CASH.AGAIN
Subject: Re: under no circumstances
Dear Robert Holder, "Sweet" hardly suffices. Nor would "helpful". Arthur is
an engaging, accomplished, entertaining chap. He can string together words fit
to form anyone's cradle or noose. He helped me with my little
assignment
.
yours decisively,
Cecil
========================================================================
Date: Fri, 25 Jun 1993 08:38:00 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBALP>
Subject: Re: Under no circumstances
In-Reply-To: Message of Thu,
24 Jun 1993 21:23:25 EDT from <WHIPLASH>
On Thu, 24 Jun 1993 21:23:25 EDT safe 'n sound said:
>I was watching late the other night, at a bar down from where we're
>now settled (fine, thanks for asking), and they were playing Some LikeIt
>Hot. I hate that film, always have. Just isn't funny. Duck Soup?
>That's got gags.
>
>Did ya all miss me, like you were supposed to? Arthur, thanks for your
>help. You're a really sweet guy.
. . . speaking of good gags.
Ssh, goddammitRobert, what're you trying to do, get me killed?
I thought it was bad when I was referred to as "helpful" on Jazz-L.
JesusH! Cuthbert finds out I'm soft I'm a dead man, you hear me, A DEADMAN!
That's just great, me dead, and Dana dancing on my grave saying, "I knew
him back when he had potential."
Pardon me, I'm indulging here.
>Haven't gotten my books out, or I'd read some now instead of wasting my
>time like this. Yeah, I know: so what, Robert, we could care less. But
>I don't have a library card yet, and I wanna read something. Got this
>used book the other day, really cheap, on Gilles de Rais. Anyone know
>anything about it?
>
Yes, I think I know a bit about it. You bought it at Duke of Prunes Used
Book and Barber Supply. You paid $.35. The previous owner was a woman in
a red hat.
Is it by Georges Bataille? That's who wrote the Gilles de Rais book that's
been sitting unread on my desk for the past two weeks. Some Like It Evil.
What I want to know is, did all parties, i.e. car and beloved familymembers,
arrive safely, and do you dig it out there? I certainly hope so.
Whiplash is back! Give me another beer and moon pie!
ap
============================================================
Date: Mon, 28 Jun 1993 00:00:58 EDT
From: CECIL@CECILS.SHELTER.ORG
Subject: NEVER MIND THE BLINDFOLD, JUST SHOOT
Dear Roadrunner, It may already be too late. Pray for me now.
neither yours nor mine,
Cecil
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