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Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1993 08:41:15 -0500
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: GILBERT VANBUREN WILKES IV <WILKES>
Subject: Re: Nothing personal!
Let me get this straight, Scotto, this list is something of a ghostship? And
here i am just having joined! Was there like, an F-nord "golded age" that i
completely missed? It figures ...
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Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1993 12:15:48 -0600
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: MATTHEW WHITEMAN <WHITEMAN>
Subject: Re: Nothing personal!
This was once the center of enlightenment, but now it seems to be dead.
Matthew
PS- RE: tv - Kezundheit!
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Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1993 13:51:24 EST
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: Steve Baynes <steve>
Subject: Send money...
Dear Executors of the Fnord Foundation,
At long last, I am submitting for review the final draft
proposal for my very own new way of thinking. I have invested
innumerable long weekends and uncountable liters of golden
tequilla in the development of this potentially ground-breaking
mode of thought. Unfortunately, I am out of time and Pierre
has cut off my bar tab, hence, my plea for assistance...
Which brings us to the topic-du-jour: funding.
Here at Pierre's, where blistering heat and fountains of guava
juice loosen even the stiffest tongues, I have heard tales of
the Fnord Foundation's rather blatant generosity. Many an
afternoon have I listened as EJ roared and carried on about how
he squandered away fortunes in Fnord Foundation grant monies
which he aquired while developing his famous
"EJ <fill-in-the-state-of-being-blank> Fnord"
(at that time) new mode of thought. And hats off to EJ since
he really did it with such style, and I am sure that those
inquiries of impropriety are all just a lot of hype.
It is also rumored that the Fnord Foundation had provided
Cecil with the funds to work on his "Little Assignments" which
provided him with such a bounty of wealth that he has gone into
seclusion at McCecil Estates where, I hear, he plays bridge
with JFK, Howard Hughes and Merciful Lee.
So, please send me some money. Now. Being sober is having
deleterious effects on my research.
Sincerely,
Sober Savage
P.S. - Just send it on down to Pierre's
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Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1993 13:33:35 PST
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: Tom Nelson RD
Subject: Re: R A Wilson
uunet!ND.EDU!Ronald.G.Sharek.1
|
|would anyone here know the addresss or way of communicating with Robert
|Anton WIlson?????????????
Why would they want to talk with someone who doesn't know how many "?" go
at the end of a sentence? (<-hint) Of course we will allow you benifit
of the doubt: Your "?" key stuck and you couldn't find the <backspase>key.
But, capitalising the second letter of a propper noun is really
unforgivable. I'm afraid that I'll have to hand you over to Da..umm...
EJ... um... Cuth... ummm.... The next volunteer from the audiance for
behaviour modification.
|would a letter to his publisher be good enough???
|
As one of the great "New Ways Of Thinking"(tm) pundits would have said
(before his weekly strip was canceled and he was forced into the humiliating
position of appearing in a Sunday only comic (due to an ugly indiscretion
with Mary Kay)):
"AKKK THupp"
<sigh>
In the good old days such a request would have been met with a tar and
feathering. Heads would have rolled. The ever present Merciful Lee (may
he rest in peace... All of us fnord old timers regret his loss,
unfortunately his doctor (Bingo) assured us that the complications were
nothing to worry about. ahh... but I digress.) would have crawled out of
his drunken stupor long enough to sharpen his ax and remove the offending
entity from our inner sanctum.
In the good old days a person would not have gotten past Cuthbert. as he
regularly bludgeoned anyone trying to enter who looked the slightest bit
intellectual, serious or had sticky keys at the door.
Dear departed EJ would have brought the considerable resources of the
Fnord foundation to bear to remove the scourge who would dare to ask such
a question in this forum. (His punishments for those who displayed such
audacity to use multiple punctuation marks put the fear of Fnord into
many a non believer.)
LIBALP would have hunted them down and passed their location on to Dana
would would have felt obligated to pay them a visit while on one of his
many road trips and bring back the bloody to Ciecel so that he could
complete his little assignment.
Mel. (Mel, if you are still out there, you have always had a special
place in my heart... I remember we had our names spelled backwards
together when we first were brought into little family... And we made
a pledge to protect each other from THEM) Mel, I remember how in the
good old days you would have called for calm and decorum as the rest of
us tore the body into bloody scraps. Perhaps my dearest M. THEY have
arrived. (If you aren't still out there then fuck you for not saying
good-bye.)
<sigh>
Those were the days... but the others have left us. Retired into an
Ivory tower and left us to defend the sanctity of our little home from
the hoards who would spoil it with their rehashed old ways of thinking.
They have left us to cower in the shadows in the corners as ravers descend
into the depths of our pit. Holding grand masques pretending to think in
new ways, but in reality they will not be thinking in new ways, they will
be recreating the same old thoughts (about Neutropics, Rave "culture"(or
lack-there-of), RAW and Leary). They won't learn anything new, they will
just go over and over again the same ground that has been gone over so
many times before. They will wear out the fresh carpeting that I just
put down in Fnord H.Q. They will drink all the coffee before I can get to
it. They will make an intolerable mess, and be an unsightly eye-sore.
But I am so tired... THEY are storming the barricades and breaching the
walls. Those who were my strength and my rod have left us to our fate.
Perhaps I should just curl into a fetal position and hope that none of
them notice me as they overrun our home.
Perhaps, on the other hand, this is just dementia setting in.
TomN
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Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1993 14:54:27 PST
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: Tom Nelson RD
Subject: Request For Money and the state of Fnord
Dear Mr Baynes:
In the absense of anyone less balanced than myself, I have assumed total
control of the Fnord Foundation. As the new executor I feel that it is
my duty to inform you of numerous organizational changes that, we (this
is the royal we as I seem to be the only person in the office at this
time) have begun to implement.
1) All request for funding must be sent directly to me in triplicate.
Where, to service you better, they can be promply denyed. We(royal) at
the Fnord foundation have gone to great expense to upgrade the rubber
stamps in the office. Unfortunately our supplier had only a limited
stock on hand so until further notice we can only "deny" requests or
mark things with little smilies and rainbows.
2) We(royal) will no longer be giving grants for research as has been
the policy under previous managment. After taking control and reviewing
the books we have determined that giving research grants leads to
a waste of money and a drain on our near infinate resources. Little
assignments never completed, professors off discovering new-this and
new-that. Members on expense accounts touring the country sharing
themselves with anyone they meet. In short this giving money to other
people just got to be shuch a mess. From now on, people will submit
requests to GIVE grants to the Fnord foundation (we will mark those
with a smily)
3) EJ left without giving me the bank account codes or the combination to
the vault. We(royal) have hired a Geraldo Rivera to open it for us
on national TV (at a discount) by telling him that Barny's secret
diary and last fresh kill (you notice that there were five new kids on
this week?) are locked inside.
We thank you for your patience in this matter, and we expect your continued
patronage through this dificult transition.
Yours Very Truely
(No! Really I mean it _Truely_ (and not just _Truely_ but VERY truely))
TomN J.S.P.S
Acting Regent for the Fnord foundation untill E.J. comes back and beats
me up.
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Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1993 02:33:21 GMT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: Murali <majcher>
Subject: Re: i get tracers 24 hrs a day now...
I Am A Jerky <ABS002 > writes:
>with all of the other people here. i am wondering though...who is the
>current title character? and who has the authority to answer thisquestion?
>hermie? are you even still around here? scotto? and what ever becameof
>our dear friend Emporer Majcher? ahh...i guess it's just time to crashback
>into the fray with both fists swinging, as they say.
I'm still lerkin', kibozin', and casting the ol' Baleful Eye
about as usual. He who don't speak, don't know, though I can't
rightly admit to doin' either of those much. And the Title Character,
as per usual, is not to be seen.
Murali
(lemme dig around here, see if'n I got any more o' them extraapostrophes...)
--
majcher
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Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1993 10:52:10 -0600
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: human@BETTER.BEHAVIOR.COM
Subject: On Foss
Romans, countrymen, and lovers. Hear me for my cause and be silent, that
you may hear.
>From a reader it was writ:
*> I am tired of wading through Daniel A. Foss's monologues. Is anyone
*> reading them? Can Foss get his own list? Does he do anything in
*> the world besides construct elaborate, obtuse, self-gratifying
*> diatribes? Does he realize how much $$$$$$$ and time I waste each
*> day skipping his lengthy efforts?
As an admirer of the writings of Foss I must say these words are cruel.
Downright viscous to the bone *mean* and socially disturbing. For Foss
does not do much in your Factory of Reality other than "construct
elaborate, obtuse, self-gratifying diatribes", but hence friends THAT IS
EXACTLY HIS PASSION and additionally his own unique style of therapy.
Mind you not to tread on it. Thou hath been given not placement to say who
is who why stepon my foot on the subway so crowded and so on.
Aaaack! and your financial concerns... forget it. Oh tell me what
butchers have developed these attacks?! If this be the street thou would
curse in haste: "Put that man in the cellar with chains, he makes no senseto
me, wasting my time, confusing my good head, taking up perfectlygood
healthy physical space that I could be using to solicit articles and
whatnot! Here, take a dollar from my pocket to do so!"
For the the annoyed I tell thee this: Foss writes perhaps as
"psychopath" (as you have dubbed this growing lot), but thou of the grand
akademy have passed much meaning in his words. As the Normal is hostile
to ambiguity, quickly dismissing that horror on the grounds of defending
social constructs and "appropriate behaviour." It is exactly this which
dear Foss has spent a lifetime of work purveying to us, time and time
again it is excused... ignored. Read again those words oh student of human
behavior. Get thee to a library and query "author Foss, Daniel", in which
you will find two texts recentishly published.
To make better sense of the matter perhaps take this into
kind consideration:
Note the pokes at argumenta a la akedemia, note the swift style, the
intentional missing letters, the stance of dialouge. Go beyond the text, I
hope that you find meaning. Let it not insult, but rather ready you for
cool winds of change.
I fear these exclamations may bring unwanted attention to my wordy friend.
Unwanted attention that may rush physical authority to the scene, thus
restricting Foss from use of the networks.
The best advice I have for thee, the perturbed: Leave him be.
-z
<co-conspirator, literary apprentice, and noble friend of dear Foss>
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Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1993 14:12:37 -0500
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: moores7518
Subject: What the hell --?
Hey, whoa, FNORD-L -- what the hell is *this*? How did I wind up subscribedto
a dive like *this*? Somebody get me the hell outta here!
Your pal,
Scotto
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