Fnord-L 93 Sep 01-19Previous Index Next
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Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1993 16:34:17 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBALP>
Subject: Re: FAITH POPCORN SHALL NOT FEAR OUR ART!
In-Reply-To: Message of Wed, 1 Sep 1993 15:58:16 -0500 from <LESSER>
On Wed, 1 Sep 1993 15:58:16 -0500 Scott Lesser said:
>Please note, I am writing to reveal Arthur Parker as a fraud andcharlatan.
>
>HE SAID MELANIE'S WORDS (ABOVE) WERE GOING TO BE FNORD-L'S NEXT BIGGEST
>CATCHPHRASE!
>
>I subsequently negotiated a deal with Ms. Willis for the rigths to thephrase,
>"Did I really say that? Who gives a damn anyhow," and have seen ZEROreturn on
>my investment. I couldn't even unload foreign sales in Turkey, as theytold me
>there was a "profanity" that was central to the phrase.
>
>I'm left with a warehouse full of "Did I really say that? Who gives adamn
>anyhow." t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, and cat toys.
>
>Thanks a whole fucking lot, Parker.
>
>Let that be a lesson to the rest of you....
>
>
>Ekhator Ossagie's Message Boy
You have only yourself to blame, Lesser. As you well know, on 21 AUG 93
I was tried and found guilty of "Conspiracy to Coin Catch-Phrases" by
Judge Cuthbert. I've served my time (kp at ARA) and have paid my debt
to "society".
Out of professional courtesy, I would normally return fire by digging up
one of your old posts and waving it in your face, but er, I don't seem
to have saved any of yours. Sorry.
ap
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Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1993 10:36:00 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: "H. Uniatz" <HUNIATZ@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Subject: this syndication syndrome
Once upon a time, long long ago, I subscribed to jazz-l, as one, in the
natural course of events, does. Some time ago, intending to leave for a
while and remembering occasions in the past when uncouth persons had mildly
mentioned the matter of notifications of undeliverability which they'd
received in response to their messages to me, I thought I'd boost general
goodwill by requesting of various listservs to set themselves to nomail.
It did not work. TEMPLEVM listserv happily retorted in its usual curt
fashion that I was not a subscriber and to take myself and my gatecrashing
superfluities elsewhere.
And still the messages kept coming. Persistent in the face of adversity, I
attempted to sign off; the effect was the very same. Saddened and tired, I
mailed the listserv a spate of quotations from Exodus, each of which was
returned with one of those ">" thingies and an earnest injunction to seek
help. A message to the listowner, though most courteously worded, brought
only a continuation of the impasse.
It therefore seems that I am condemned to eternal subscription. Not, you
understand, that I greatly object; they are a pleasant enough bunch of
nutcases, there's the odd astonishment of copping Bill Anderson momentarily
adopting unnatural tones of deference or enthusiasm, and, as my psychiatrist
astutely pointed out, it's not as if I %had% any friends to write to me any
more, so the account-flooding hardly matters. But, Merciful Lee Dickens, WHYDO YOU
HAVE TO POST THINGS TWICE OVER? I KNOW IT'S THE EGOMANIAC'S STANDARD
labour-saving device; why, I even thought it was kind of sweet as bouncing
insistence on self-presentation back when you used to post duplicates on
SBRHYM-L, SINCE DEFUNCT, BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT ... EXCUSE ME I HAVE TO GO
BREATHE INTO A PAPER BAG BEFORE I HYPERVENTILATE.
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Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1993 11:05:00 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: "H. Uniatz" <HUNIATZ@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Subject: DUBIOUS DUPLICITY
Dear Merciful Lee Dickens,
Moved by your understanding and forgiveness, I partook, upon
your advice, of the contents of the three glass bottles in the
refrigerator, together with those of the medicine cabinet, and
subsequently realised that those charming people who come to the door
ever so often explaining that I am a Child of God and should affect
the disposition of a ray of sunshine, tempered by the servility of
one who would hand over five quid on the spot, were right all along,
and that, as their graphs clearly demonstrate, the public's
appreciation and comprehension of your splendid messages are
considerably enhanced by a second reading.
I remember, it was upon your instigation that Mother took up
snake-charming in the first place, and it was not until she'd
glanced at your posting's customary echo that she thought to wear
protective clothing, as the instruction was neatly tucked away
in a gracious footnote which had eluded her at first perusal.
Why, You May Have Saved Her Life, and I'd shake you by the hand
for your thoughtfulness were it not that my left hand, so far as I
can see, is still holding one of the bottles -- excuse me just a
second while I remind myself if it's the whiskey or the bourbon --
and the other appears to be shaking ever so slightly. If you could
move your delicate lime-green shirtfront slightly to the left, no,
the right, I could grasp the piano to steady myself...
There, that's better. I reiterate the apology which you so
perceptively discerned in my previous posting, and trust that you'll
attribute my outburst to my recurrent neurasthenia: I had feared
that I saw two where there was only one, and the recollection of
the symptoms which played tandem to that delusion in similar cases
(cf. Parker, Parker, and Mills, "The Chap In The Mirror is Me", 1989,
and its well-regarded sequal "Two Bugs At A Time", 1991) rests most
heavily upon my heart.
H.
"humouring the lad since the marshmallows ran out"
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Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 10:58:00 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: "H. Uniatz" <HUNIATZ@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Subject: PROTOCOL
On a point of order, Mr Chairman, I've been following this debate carefully
and believe that Mr. Lesser's lack of stature may give him a psychological
handicap in speaking, as well as making his contributions to the bout of
verbal sparring with Mr. Parker seem less forceful to the ears of theaudience.
I therefore propose that this house should provide Mr. Lesser with afootstool
on which he may stand, so as to equal his opponent in height.
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Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 14:42:16 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: Re: stop it
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri, 3 Sep 1993 13:20:55 CST from <GS0383>
On Fri, 3 Sep 1993 13:20:55 CST Melanie Willis said:
>Must you all jump on Lesser? So what if he whined and acted like a girlyboy-
>is that so wrong?? It takes a real man to make others think that he is a
>girlyman - it shows a certain sense of sexual-identity security, know whatI
>mean? It's a man who's on the brink of something other than manly thatis
>afraid to act a little unmanly now and then. After all, what is macho-ismbut
>a lie? and what is redneck but fear of the unknown? I say, come on, let'sall
>give Lesser a round of applause for daring to be three dimensional.Melanie
>Yes, I did say that, and yes, I know, you don't give a damn anyhow.
Hell, three dimensions doesn't impress me at all. If Lesser could exist
in, say, five dimensions, then I'd give him all the hands he needed,
which might well be considerable. As it is, he's just a fully-articulated
sissy. Still, I'm not betting against him in the upcoming Big Fight -
some of those sissies can kick.
Cuthbert
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Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 15:52:15 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: "EJ Fnord, Outsider" <EJFORD>
Subject: Re: Reply to Re: PROTOCOL
In-Reply-To: note of 09/03/93 14:55
Scott. Lee.
Lee. Scott.
I say you should both work out your frustrations by sharing a tall, frosty
glass of Clamato juice. Yes, Clamato juice. Part clam. Part tomato. All
refreshing. Children cry for it.
And if they don't, hit 'em in the fuckin' head till they beg for the swill.
EJ Fnord,
Frontier Midwife.
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Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 15:57:47 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: "EJ Fnord, Boiler Room Op" <EJFORD>
Subject: HEY, I JUST FIGURED IT OUT.
In-Reply-To: note of 09/03/93 15:47
Still, if you are a big wussy, it doesn't matter what your sexualorientation
is, Scotty. You're probably too much of a wimp to figure that out though.
I think that was Shit-brain's point...
EJ Fnord,
Too stupid to stay out of a fight since I was this high.
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Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 16:24:18 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBALP>
Subject: Re: ADMONISHMENT
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri, 3 Sep 1993 16:08:06 EDT from <LIBMLM>
On Fri, 3 Sep 1993 16:08:06 EDT Matthew Miller said:
>Children...once again I have been forced to descend from my loftyobservation
>tower to remind you that those with a HEALTHY sense of self esteem talkabout
>ideas, not other people--I mean, that's what this list is all about,right?
>
Fuck no, you dumbass. It's about New ***Ways*** of Thinking, not
goddamn ideas. And to me, "Ways" means only one thing:
DDDD FFFFFFF O O S SSSSSSD F O O S SD F O S S DDDD F O S SSSSS D F O S S D F O S S DDDD F O SSSSSSSS SSSSSS
Yeah!
ap
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Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 16:05:22 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: CYNOVY
Organization: Skin on a Steaming Wand
Subject: FUCKIN'-A
Fuckin' hey:
Dana: It fuckin' ain't fuckin Arthur's fuckin' birthday, and your fuckin'
lie don't fuckin' give you enough rope ta fuckin'
frig yerself, ya fuckin greek-bent gamin. So shut the hell up.
Cecil: It ain't fuckin' yer fuckin' birthday either, ya two-fisted tail.
So shut the hell up.
Miller: Ta fuckin' mention fuckin' 'ideas' and fuckin' 'pork-pie hats' in
the same fuckin' post proves yer a rancid bite of fuckin' goocake. So
shut the hell up.
Parker: it's the fuckin' easiest fuckin' goddamn fuckin' con in the fuckin'
world to fuckin' act like ya got a fuckin' secret. So demonstrate, or
fuckin' shut the hell up.
Cuthbert: ya fuckin' did not fuckin' kill Dan Boyd, ya couldn't fuckin'
manage to fuckin' pull a fuckin' invalid's tubes if you were fuckin'
guaranteed fuckin' diplomatic fuckin' immunity in fuckin' hieroglyphs, so
shut the hell up. Plus, ya fuckin' couldn't fuckin' imitate fuckin' Cecil
ta fuckin' save yer fuckin' wrinkled and empty scrotum. So shut the hell
up.
Murali: Where the fuck are you? Did I say that? Who gives a damn? Shut
the hell up.
Lesser: What the fuckin' hell ya got against Scottie, ya fuckin' undercooked
kielbasa round? It's the fuckin' name of my fuckin' hero, ya fuckin'nameless
toady. So shut the hell up.
Melanie: I fuckin' like yer fuckin' attitude, ya fuckin' babe. Wanna get
fucked up wit' me and do fuckin' Vegas? But ya got a fuckin' shut the hell
up.
I got a fuckin' headache.
"infiltrated by prepubescents since M.O.D. depleted their fuckin' stock"
daf
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Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 00:01:00 EDT
Reply-To: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: CECIL@CECILS.BIRTHDAY.PARTY
Subject: SING:
Come in, come right through, help yourselves to cake. ("What if Holy SavingsTrust goes from 98 to 88 to 78 to 68, then drops") Notice the Holbein over thefireplace but do not leave your fingerprints. ("If I were an excitable guy,this would upset me. Where's my angel?") Look, Lesser, I'll have to ask you toleave if you stab the goldfish again. ("Sit still; there is nothing to fear")The swimming-poll is to the left, the snake-pit to the right; dive at will.("YOU CAN START THE POETRY NOW") Leave the keys with Oscar, Mr Parker, andhe'll park your Ford round the back. ("that coy, clever, and all-too-cute toneare "courtesy" of (you got") Can I pour anyone some cornflakes? some ice-cream?some ethanol? ("to the handful that squanders friendship on the woman, who hassettled") Happy birthday to me, ("reason alone should be sufficient that youmight desist this torrid") Happy birthday to me, ("to him in ways you'd envywith a drooling arousal if you understood.") Happy birthday, dear Cecil,("moving very far away from you, are likely quite wise and receive my") Happybirthday to me.========================================================================
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 11:24:03 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: CECIL@CECILS.PLUSH.CONFESSION.BOX
Subject: Re: Reply to Merciful Lee Dickhea
Reply-To: Message of Fri, 3 Sep 1993 09:37:00 -05 from <DICKENS>
Now, that was hardly civil, young Rollins, was it? If this sort of behaviourpersists, God will make you refund the money your Aunt Beatrice gave you foryour birthday.
Two Our Fathers and a decade of the Rosary, son, and don't let me catch youmessing about with *that* commandment again.
Next?
Father Cecil (+)
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Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1993 17:06:36 -0500
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: 00bcpalmer
Subject: SSDI
To: Multiple recipients of list FNORD-L<FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
It just occured to me that if you are going to write thiswhy-I-can't-get-up-
and-work essay for me, you may need to know what I am:
1) I have temporal lobe epilepsy -- [When I am not chasing Jesus, I amchasing
imaginary -- whoops! There goes one!]
2) I get those panic attack things [Usually accompanied by invisible snakes
eating my legs]
3) Clinical Depression -- [whatever]
4) Agoraphobia [I never leave this terminal.]
5) Schizophrenia [I don't remember why the other mewanted
to include those "--" things. (seeabove)]
6) bi-polar disorder [see Levi-Strauss, Claude]
Oh, and then there were those manic episodes and nervous breakdowns.
And, I once threatened a guy by putting a No. 2 pencil to his neck.
Pen Cilnecked Reaper,
Brent <Pollux>
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Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1993 19:27:51 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: <LIBWCA>
Subject: Re: - no subject (01H2IR6LYFOY90MY49) -
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri, 3 Sep 1993 18:04:08 -0500 from <LESSER>
On Fri, 3 Sep 1993 18:04:08 -0500 Scott Lesser said:
>>SUBSCRIBE New Ways of Thinking List Janean McPolin
>>Janean McPolin
>>AP English Teacher
>>Springville High School
>>Springville, Utah USA
>>mjanean@
>
>Does anyone else smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E?
Hell, boy, that ain't trouble. That's just a English teacher.
It's better than that - you know what "AP" means, don't you? That's
right - this here Janean frail is used to dealing with dorky little
smart kids all day. Nobody cuts her classes, and papers are always
fifteen pages longer than assigned. She steps in here, we'll show
her what kind of mettle it takes to cope with hard-core, pig-stomping
DUMB.
You worry too much, Lesser.
Cuthbert
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Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1993 05:25:00 EDT
Reply-To: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: CECIL@CECILS.TWENTIETH.CENTURY
Subject: GOOD MORNING, MATTHEW.
Matthew Miller, I need an answering machine. You evidently find yours a trialand an inconvenience, facilitating, as it does, the recording of messages fromthe type of persons who, being of an investigatory turn to make their mothersproud, would wish to discover precisely what manner of courageous imbecilewould post a telephone number on Fnord-l, whereas I would find it of boundlessvalue when I leave the McCecil Estates for my occasional fishing weekends inthe north. If you would be so kind as to check the machine for compatibilitywith most varieties of telephone, then pass it on to the famous Arthur L.Parker of your worthy institution, I shall attempt to persuade him to forwardit to the castle.
On a fatherly note, you may wish in the meantime to turn for help to DanielAaron Foss, who, in the spirit of enterprise which was later to win him therole of god designate of my little assignment, led the way in making his numberpublicly available as chatline, complaints register, and marriage bureau (cf.HISTORY).
forever in your debt,
Cecil G. McCecil
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Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1993 11:54:00 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: CECIL@CECILS.CONTRITE.ANGUISH
Subject: I'VE MADE OF MYSELF A FOOL AGAIN
> Please write to me--I crave human contact desperately.
> Sr. Matthew L. Miller
O, God. Pray forgive me, Sister Matthew, I never realised you were a member ofa religious order. None of your previous posts mentioned your title, you see,and though it's apparently quite usual to assume the names of male saints, oneso readily overlooks the obvious in these anonymous altercations.
How you must have been aghast at the language employed here recently! We'vebeen trying to make E.J. Ford behave with decorum, but as soon as the jellybabies run out he starts right back in on the cursing and blasphemy.
Is yours a silent order? I can see how loneliness might prompt your plea forcorrespondence, but are you sure, Sister, that this is quite the milieu foryou? Have you considered joining the Samaritans' operation to comfort thesuicidal? They do remarkable work; I call them several times a day; I thinkthey know my voice by now and I'm on first name terms with some of theirvolunteers. Don't fret, though, I've got Rollins and Lesser here with paperand pen and the most charming frowns of concentration on their dainty visages;their letters will be in the post this afternoon or they'll be sent to bedhungry.
There was a nun once who tried to teach me French when I was young andguileless and did not understand that some people are just naturally Nasty --the classroom took on the air of a massacre as everyone assumed battlestationsbefore she came in with her protractor to check that the windows were openedexactly 45 degrees, and my little friendies tore down the ceiling the day shetried to make us chant a mantra. However, that's another story, and none ofit, Sister Matthew, was your fault.
yours in devout admiration,
Cecil
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Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1993 11:14:25 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: CECIL@CECILS.IRON.PALINGS
Subject: MY ASSIGNMENT'S SIZE IS NOTHING LIKE THE SUN
Comments: NOR ITS ASPECT LIKE ANYTHING BENEATH.
The third bunch of anemones is wilting now and it is clear that the wholeaffray will stall unless I obtain a sassafras root, a carton of sloe yogurt,and a solution to several sorts of disenchantment. Matthew Miller seems a kindman; if someone reminds me of his telephone number, I will tell him how soon hemust get them for me.
Cecil [[caron]]
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Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1993 11:47:03 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: BINGO@CECILS.DEBTORS.PRISON
Subject: IT WAS POVERTY MADE ME A PAUPER
Dear Dr. Foss,
I have found your salt pancake pleasing to my wounds, and the sores in my mouthno longer prevent my tongue reaching the typewriter keys. Today I must carryMaster Cecil's television while he inspects the grounds. If my back breaksagain I shall surely lose this privilege. My master's little assignment loomsever larger in my nightmares.
yours in unhappiness,
Bingo D'Squalified
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Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1993 16:05:55 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: BINGO@CECILS.GARDEN.OF.TERRORS
Subject: AND DEFEAT DOTH A LOSER MAKE
Dear Dr. Foss,
Master Cecil has been very busy with his little assignment. Today I saw cowswith arms and hands implanted in their sides so that they can milk themselves;a harpstritch, an enormous bird that can pluck its own lovely plumage; and acolony of ants which shapes anthills in the likeness of my master's profile, atthe expense of their little home's utility and convenience. Delousing hasagain been postponed.
wretchedly,
Bingo D'Squalified
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Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1993 10:00:00 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: CECIL@CECILS.DIARY
Subject: ON THIS DAY THE 16th OF SEPTEMBER
Bingo increasingly tries my patience, and I very much fear that my forbearancewill one day slip so far as to make me unwittingly address him harshly. Werethe lad not mute, I could perhaps discern and nurture some glimmer of cognitiveability; as it is, I can but leave him such tasks as give him the illusion ofhelpfulness which may be his sole sustainment. He seems to admire me, and itis, after all, only fitting that one of my fierce intellect should endeavor toassist others less capable of dealing with the intricate mundanities of theassignment. I may allow him a weekly sum with which to purchase hisgobstoppers and illustrated papers; it would give him a measure of independenceand perhaps some small grasp of mental arithmetic.
Ah, how I must sigh for my troubles. Oscar, at least, is quick-witted, thoughmy observation of his behaviour convinces me that psychopathy would be a moreapt diagnosis than the good doctor's suggestion of psychoneurosis. The matterof the young fellow Lesser also disturbs me; this indiscriminate mode ofcorrespondence which he has newly adopted is surely a cry for help, andStacey's lack of equilibrium could bring him to react badly upon seeing what hehad thought to be a fresh friendship foundered so soon by Lesser's rakishgallivanting. I am at a loss as to what do to.
It rains yet again today, and I am wearing the deep red shirt which I am toldis particularly becoming to me. I must remember to write to Mother and tospeak with Anderson with regard to my position in the Museum: I suspect he hasquite forgotten his promises.
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Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1993 10:03:05 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: BINGO@CECILS.PARLOUR.OF.TRICKS
Subject: TO LISTEN WITHOUT EARS
Dear Dr. Foss,
I fear that work on my sculpture of Mr. Cheating may be postponed indefinitely,as I have exhausted my supply of chewing gum. I have everything I need for thepaper mache, but the candies available at Master Cecil's company store are ofinferior consistency, and have caused unacceptable losses of quality in my workalready. As usual, my master treats me as a mental defective, whose childishwhims he tires of indulging.
dejectedly,
your Bingo
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Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1993 12:57:17 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: BINGO@CECILS.PATERNITY.COTTAGE
Subject: AND TOUCH WITHOUT SKIN
Dear Dr. Foss, I cannot bear to tell you of today's chores, except to mentionhow fervently glad I am that my sister is far from the domain of my master; Ihave suffered many humiliations at his hands, but he is capable of even moreand worse obscenities. If only I could complete my sculpture, I might gain therespect I sorely lack, if not from him, then from others.
Beseechingly,
Tol'able Bingo
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Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1993 10:00:00 EDT
Sender: New Ways of Thinking List <FNORD-L@UBVM.BITNET>
From: CECIL@CECILS.DIARY
Subject: ON THIS DAY THE 17th OF SEPTEMBER
Bingo has taken a poorly turn; he is forever passing me notes in which heinquires if he may visit his sister, and it grieves me to gaze upon hisfeatures as I gently remind him that she has been dead of Polio these pastthree years. There is the consolation that his pain is but fleeting; he soquickly forgets his troubles and turns again to his latest plaything, anungainly hunk of chewing-gum which he presses and forms into a shapeless lump,with the studious angle of his head and the contentment of his countenancealmost as if he were realising and perfecting a dream. I cannot help but pityhim.
Rollins emerges from his malaise and is quickly regaining the conspicuousloquaciousness of yore; I hope the chicken broth which Bingo carried to him onmy instructions aided his recovery. His demeanour on the jazz forum wouldsuggest that he regards me as a figure of fun, but, knowing of thecircumstances of his past as I do, I can bear him no ill-will. We haveprocured him a well-wishing card: a small token, yes, but one which we trustwill bring him good cheer. Parker has kindly offered his services to forge onit all of our signatures; he assures me that he will practise first on hischeque-book so as to achieve satisfactory facsimiles.
The poppies on the orchard border are fading rapidly and I shall soon allowmyself a spell of dejection. No word from Anderson. Cook tells me that thereis to be pheasant for dinner, and I reconcile myself to further famishment. Ihave repeatedly told her that I am now a vegetarian, but she answers in hergood-humoured fashion that she herself has always been a Methodist. I would inmy desperation beseech Bingo to smuggle some biscuits from the pantry to mystudy were I not confident that he would consume them en route.
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