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Date: Mon, 27 Apr 1992 18:52:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Strangler Aagonschmidt <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: The Collected Woiks (sic) of H. Uniatz
Four-Stories-Up@SBCCVM
Oh say can you see by the don's reading-light the graffiti engraved on his table -- smile at the awl that scrawled this smile with `m. cheating was here' as label.
Lullaby
Suantrai: sue&try You&I, high anew: nigh untrue; rue&sigh -- Suantrai's End.
Tales of Her Former Husbands: Episode I
We walked along the river's edge Till the day I pushed him in; Now I stroll that riverbank alone, His ghost swims along within.
Tales of Her Former Husbands: Episode II (the Courtroom Scene)
"Sir, you are guilty of mental cruelty To your over-malign'd spouse; The County Gaol is strong and scurvy: For life there you'll carouse."
Tales of Her Farmer Husbands: Subplot I
Kept super White Orpington record-breakin' egg-layin' hens, Kept woman, Preferred super White Orpington record-breakin' egg-layin' hens, Lost woman.
Tales of Her Former Husbands: Episode III
(This series has been discontinued for reasons of personal privacy.)
Kamikaze Kumareeme
Come worry me, be felicific In felicide that's most malefic, Come tarry here and be my target: "Gramsci, Gramsci not" made arid, Come bury me and be my marriage; I'll write you poems of how you marred it, Comme ce rhyme-ci that's just been started
(the manuscript breaks off at this point)
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Date: Sun, 26 Apr 1992 14:47:53 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri, 24 Apr 1992 09:35:46 CST from < GR4302>
Duly noted, GR4302, duly noted. But cynicism has no depths, and it's
all a bit of a wash in the end -- most cynics are just looking for the
perfect ideal fix to trade and swap wholesale their jet black attire
and picture perfect scowls, all it takes are a few good whims. Again,
semantics, son: a cynic is someone who believes that others are only
attempting to increase their personal gain, their own possessions.
There can be no cynics here as, citing again the beloved H. Uniatz,
it's all been a state-sponsored board game of circular intervention.
But, this time, GR4302, you can be the race car and I'll gladly settle
for the thimble.
JS
========================================================================
Date: Sun, 26 Apr 1992 14:54:35 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: next
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri, 24 Apr 1992 09:49:10 CST from < GR4302>
GR4302, I must caution you, however, against insulting Pat's arduous
creator. It was, I believe, all a misstep involving an attempt
at creating a platform by which to attain a higher level
of consciousness -- and, insofar as it likely failed,
one should marvel at the chance results, the very
splendid arrangement of disparate elements into
something very nearly approaching (though in
an attempt to avoid a collision swerving
with far too much torque) art. After
all, I hardly think you'd be able
to sustain such eloquence sans
the combination of tumblers
falling into the just the
right place. Rilly. JS
========================================================================
Date: Sun, 26 Apr 1992 16:25:00 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: SBRHYM (Or how I learned to love to calm)
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri,
24 Apr 1992 18:50:00 GMT from <CSTMADDEN >
Hello, Gary;
I will accept your post on face value. You are not, then, to be feared,
not with the usual swath depositation and deforestation preventative
measures. If none of this is to last, then welcome aboard; but you
may not, under no circumstances available to prevent the quick speed
of Law, gather these chestnuts into a divine wreath of rememberance
and guilt. We don't wish to be belabored with the memories of what
this list has become, or what this list might have been (had the turn
been so delivered).
You shall, however, discover quickly I fear as to why I declare anyone
off of ORBSEN suspicious; it's an email bias that I can't shed, one that
harps the fine sonorities of paranoia. Please accept presently my
humble appologies and note the sorrowful wail through which I attempt
to direct my words of greeting, bowed head and burdened shoulders.
This will change once we've gotten started on a Youth Reorientation
Project. Care to help me drain the swamps?
JS
========================================================================
Date: Sun, 26 Apr 1992 18:25:00 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: SBRHYM-L (or: Excuse Me While I Spit)
In-Reply-To: Message of Fri,
24 Apr 1992 22:50:00 GMT from <H.UNIATZ>
And, now, Gary, you discover exactly what makes this list so pertinent,
so delightful, such a case of ethics to mull over and over while one
lies awake at night attempting sleep: Niall, meet ... oh, alright,
"Hoppie Uniatz". I don't feel much like inviting that bugbear to
sit astride thumbing its nose over my shoulder at the daily spread.
And, H., if you insist, I'll make a stab at what M. was trying to say:
do you still believe that, having joined this list and having been
almost immediately challenged approximately nine months ago, this
"dialogue", as you two are so fond of calling it, has been fortuitous
in the least? Does it still provide you that slightest bit of
distraction as you cover your chalk board before most likely a batch
of disinterested students with diagrams very nearly arcane in nature?
Do you wish that the whole thing had somehow gone differently, that
perhaps instead of vexing you with a snide comment to the effect of
"You say you will marry me? I shant do it then!", M had implemented
his grand design of joining these nodes (that same delightful feature
that has allowed me to bring you along on this "roadshow")? To what
degree is it still a perfunctory to say the least Escape Route? Have
you left M. stranded on a Scylla (or was it Charybdis? I was never very
good with my Homerian references) of my making, left to try and strum
up some greater business in the lives of historians? You ought to
answer your darling. It's somewhat tragic if you don't, particularly
as it would, apparently, be none and none but M. alone left to "mosh"
in the FNORD pits, particularly as Daniel A. Foss, who has yet to make
an appearance I've noticed, has absconded with the deed to what it
would take for a New Generation.
Did you spend Easter favorably? Did you wear a lily? I apologize for the
questions as you are probably rather petered out from your pious holidays.
Just know that, in spite of the almost verbatim predictability of the
foreseeable future, I'm glad to have you back in the folds.
M., however, believes that you may very well have been the one to have
ended the unconsummate affair. This is because M. never bothered to
delete messages which you were requested to remove from your account.
This is because M. is a fool.
========================================================================
Date: Mon, 27 Apr 1992 04:43:30 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: suspicious node movement
In-Reply-To: Message of Sat,
25 Apr 1992 19:27:00 GMT from <H.UNIATZ>
Ah, Niall;
Welcome once again. I see you've met my chacun son gout, as it were;
now you may begin to understand the perhaps indefensible reservations
I directed towards you in my preliminary stance which she's lovingly
characterized as that of a zealous shyster. She's my end-all; if you
aren't entirely certain as to how a Brit could have garnered such
filth from just your name, recognize her previously thus: STANIFHLATHU
at the pre-Orbsen domain of UCG. Should further clarification be at
all desirable, I could forward on a lovely prosaic example of illegal
copying of mail from Seosamh-I-am; perhaps we should check with Anthony
and find exactly what, pray tell, are the clamorous ramifications of
such a maneuver -- that is, if it were possible to remove him from his
maudlin gaze of heartbreak and woe, woe, woe.
Having said that, I now bumptiously must damn you to the same hell that
she would have me spend my days mulling over insubordinate encounters,
as you are, therefore, nothing but a Spy in the proverbially overwrought
House of Love. Don't take offence, and please understand that you are
otherwise encouraged to stay and, salon-like, become the repository that
I know you to be for these so creative investitures. Another piece of
cake?
JS
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Date: Mon, 27 Apr 1992 05:53:25 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: running stream of sewage ie, w/ art look for the mod.oper.:
In-Reply-To: Message of Sat, 25 Apr 1992 15:46:50 CST from < GR4302>
Ah, GR4302, discipline perhaps, truth never. 'Tis impossible to humor
me with it as a)it's not funny and b)I've no sense of humor, and am
also lacking a sense of smell. Instead, only princely palpitations are
filtered through, and I find the whole business repugnant. Take, for
instance, your rampantly successful Spring Fest that you organized: is
this the "revolutionary" status of the list that we've to anticipate?
If so, I shall work on my ability to throw beer cans at police officers
and sprawl upon the shattered windopane-covered hoods of automobiles
menacingly. Most impressive. Or were you captivating yourself alone
in the Big Muddy Room (I know these locales just as well as M does),
uttering disdainful clicks of the tongue -- excuse me, I know you'll
correct me on this point, as those aren't I don't believe in fact
utterances -- while feeling a smug satisfaction at your own powers of
disinvolvement?
May we have the next candidate, please?
JS
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Date: Mon, 27 Apr 1992 19:37:53 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: A complicated version of Twister
In-Reply-To: Message of Sat, 25 Apr 1992 20:15:46 EST from <E010@ >
E010--
Simply disregard these personal messages you've been receiving -- and
they must be messages you're receiving directly, for I've not met one
word, disregarding the accumulated posts of GR4302, which has slandered
your character or has recommended that, God save your soul should it
even bear the slightest resemblance to that paltry measure of Truth,
you're not good enough to "hang with the boyz" on this lovely list.
Fact: you will be hard-pressed to find as many people who will remain
as devoted to the sludge of the world, as befits a list of this name,
as you will here. My reference to you was meant to be anything but
alienating; I honestly wish that some of the "younger" crowd would
compensate for the migrating hordes previously noted. Tragically, I,
based on the painfully arbitrary categories you've established, am
unable to cast a vote as to whether you should stay or go, but,
regardless of how your election to member-at-large status resolves
itself, I've a suggestion: as a one-time friend of mine proved when
she was forcibly removed from this domain for a period (and,
eventually, forcibly returned), it is possible to still submit e-mail
messages to this list even if you are not a current subscriber. So,
should your democratic roll of the "Amor Fati"-stenciled dice prove
to you that you're better suited to being some manner of Dharma Bum,
please, now and again, when you've the time, send a "whether"
condition update along to keep us informed of how you fare.
JS
========================================================================
Date: Mon, 27 Apr 1992 23:49:00 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: SBRHYM-L and boredom
In-Reply-To: Message of Sun,
26 Apr 1992 09:38:00 GMT from <H.UNIATZ>
Peter! So glad to hear from you. Do be a good lad and tell H. to stop
using your account or I'll start using her real name. Confuses my kill
file, dontcha know.
Actually, H., I almost believe this: it would explain why you have such
time on your hands when, otherwise, you should be learning how to hone
your natural abilities to such a sharp degree that your mere presence
decimates your numerous sordid enemies, as well as getting a little
better here and there on trivialities like 'rithmatic. And what, in
that brief interlude before the infant was snatched from your grasp
by the repossession agency, did you decide to name the most recent?
Naturally, I would be honored to think that there might be a little
Cheating running around out there, bloodshot eyes and milkbone grin
and all.
JS
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Date: Tue, 28 Apr 1992 16:26:00 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: The Collected Woiks (sic) of H. Uniatz
In-Reply-To: Message of Mon,
27 Apr 1992 18:52:00 GMT from <H.UNIATZ>
Bravo! Bravo! Auteur! Magnifico! Splendid, truly!
I've never felt better in my life.
I shall learn these, commit them to memory, and shall recite them to
you, with only a few liturgical emendations ("grouse" works much better
than "carouse", do you not agree?).
That is how you will be certain it is I.
Oh, dear, I feel a touch of sincerity coming on; I'd best desist...
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 29 Apr 1992 20:52:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Strangler Aagonschmidt <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: do not reply to this now; go home and sleep.
>And, H., if you insist, I'll make a stab at what M. was trying to say:
No, I do not insist, and thus, the conditional clause suggests that
you need not speak for M., but on you squeak -- oops, speak--, so that
I can only say to you what I would have said to him: true, indeed, that
this "dialogue" business is far from fortuitous, is time-consuming, is
needlessly annoying, and yet, I do it, have done it, shall do it, should
do it, pastly-historically do it; and M. likewise, or else I threaten him
with all the dire threats I can muster: that is to precisely say none atall.
Please, please, please, can I help you throw beer-cans at representatives
of the law and sprawl upon motors? In car-parks, where you were once
so fond of lingering, you told me, no? And, while you're there, I take
great pleasure in informing you that "shant" of Fri, 10 Apr 92 21:34:46 GMT,
together with "shant" of Sun, 26 Apr 1992 18:25:00 EDT, might both more
nicely have been "shan't". When that's fixed, re-plumbed, and dripping,
I trust that you'll be intending to deal (or have dealt) with Jeffrey's
query; I do not myself feel up to answering it at this moment. I have
taken to sitting at my terminal, developing eye-strain, and muttering,
over and more venomously over again, "BLUE HERRING, BLUE HERRING, BLUE
HERRING"; I find it strangely comforting.
H. does not understand why the failure of M. to delete messages
(doubtless discouraging though it is, and I can only order you to
hasten to do so) should have the slightest bearing upon the sorry
matter of the end of the affair. The affair ended when M. died, M.
died when You Killed Him, and into your blood-stained hands I
commend his spirit, revered now in death as it never was in half-life.
You have been trying your mettle at some early rising, I see, and I
must recommend you to cease the practice -- nine is a good hour at which
to arise, or twelve if it should rain. And, while I sympathize with you
on your insomnia, I cannot condone your habit of staying up all night: it
addles the brain.
H.
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Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1992 14:12:02 CST
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: SISC92@
Subject: 3th Week of Computing Systems Engineering...
Hello!! everybody:
We are a group of students of Computer Systems Engineering at ITESO
University, in Guadalajara Mexico. Each year a symposium of subjects, items
and tutorials related to our studies is organized by students of this
career, supported by our University, Corporations and Institutes (like IEEE
of Mexico) to make it possible, and this year is our turn.
With this goal, we are using this media to get in touch with people
related to or interested in computers, to ask them for some help and/or
support in contacting conferencists or people that give tutorials.
The topics that we are focused in are :
* Multimedia * Networks
* Virus * CASE Tools
* OOP * Unix
* Etc..
This event will take place in Guadalajara, Mexico from September 21 to
25 of the present Year.
If you want to help us or you know someone that would and could,
please contact us.
Thank you in advance for your atention and colaboration.
Sincerely, Jose M. Rodarte M.
Committe of conferences.
ITESO University.
Guadalajara, Mexico.
========================================================================
Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1992 00:55:00 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Cuthbert <LIBWCA>
Subject: Computers? What is they?
What the fuck is this? Computer conferences? CAREERS? We don't need no
stinking careers! As for Guadalajara, I haven't been back since I killed
Trotsky in a whorehouse back in '40... he tried to cut in on my tail, and
there I was holding that axe- what could I do? What would any red-blooded
semi-american skygod have done? I don't like to talk about it.
Cheating, could you and Uniatz get a room or something? I'd hate to have to
put you in a KILLFILE! KILLFILE! KILLFILE!
-Major Cuthbert of the 3rd Dragoons
========================================================================
Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1992 11:03:33 EST
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: HAG <HAG@ >
Subject: The Usual Folly
(Just three more days and I'll be done with work. I hope the air
conditioning gets fixed. Why couldn't they build this building
with windows that open, instead of making it a concrete
greenhouse. Oh well, just three more days. I hope I can get
everything done in time. And then a week of relaxation. Sitting
on the patio, iced drink in hand, book balanced. If my stupid
housemates will let me, at least. Why should they, though.
They never have before. Jerks. But right now I've got to clean
up. The midwife is coming tomorrow. No not yet. Just lay down
a minute. Just for a minute, so tired.)
---EARLY SIGNS OF LABOR CAN INCLUDE REGULAR
CONTRACTIONS, A BLOODY SHOW, OR RUPTURE OF THE
MEMBRANES.---
(What the hell was that. A bubble, like a water baloon, like....oh
no, no wait a minute don't panic. But it's ten days early. I'm not
ready. Call my midwife.)
...Well, there's no sign of cord prolapse. Let's listen for the heartbeat.
Wait a minute. Hmmm...
(No, no, not a problem, please say it isn't. This baby is supposed
to be born at home. I don't want to go to the hospital. I have to
go back to work. What's wrong. You're OK aren't you little one?
It's OK don't panic, don't panic.)
---IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO PRE-REGISTER AT THE HOSPITAL TO
AVOID DELAYS WHEN YOU ARRIVE. THE HOSPITAL STAFF
WILL DO EVERYTHING TO MAKE YOUR ENTRY SWIFT AND
EASY.---
(This room looks like a prison cell. Iron bed, table, bare. You
don't have to hover over me like a gaurd. Look, I'm not used to
undressing in front of a complete stranger. Where's my
husband? What are you going to do with me. Where's my
doctor. Dammit I didn't do anything wrong. What's happening
to my baby.)
__I'm sorry, we have to do a c-section. The only other time I've seen
a heartbeat like this was with a baby that had a serious heart problem
requiring immediate surgery. I'm very sorry.__
---IN PREPARATION FOR SURGERY, YOU WILL HAVE A
CATHETER INSERTED, YOUR ABDOMEN WILL BE SHAVED AND
WASHED IN AN ANTIBACTERIAL FLUID. IF YOU HAVE NOT
YET HAD AN IV INSERTED, THIS WILL BE DONE NOW. YOU
WILL BE MOVED TO THE 'OR' AND THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST
WILL DISCUSS OPTIONS. A BLOOD PRESSURE CUFF WILL BE
APPLIED AS WELL AS SOME ELECTRODES TO HELP MONITOR
YOUR CONDITION.---
(No, definitely not full anesthesia. My God, look at me. Trussed
up like some B-rated Frankenstein. Wires, needles, look at this
place. A house of horrors. They're tilting the table back. What's
going on. Are they going to operate like this, with me
practically on my head?)
---A C-SECTION IS NOT PAINFUL. YOU MAY FEEL A SLIGHT
PULLING SENSATION, BUT MANY WOMEN SAY THAT IT IS
EASIER THAN A VAGINAL BIRTH. AND WITH TODAY'S NEW
ANESTHESIA, YOU CAN BE AWAKE AND AWARE AS YOU
ENJOY THE BIRTH OF YOUR WONDERFUL CHILD.---
(Arrgh...agggh....dammit to hell...unnnh...it hurts..burning
knives....it hurts dammit it hurts you shit. You bastards what
are you doing to me.)
__Now, now, if you could really feel it you'd be on the ceiling.__
(On the ceiling! You shithead. Shut up. What do you know.
You're not the one being sliced open having your guts
dissected. Help me someone, please.)
__If it's really painful I can give you a little something to make you
sleep. Just for a little bit.__
(No. Shut Up. I don't want to miss seeing my baby.)
__You'd be awake again soon. It would just be for a short time.__
(Don't try that one on me you jerk. I know what full anesthesia
is like...a few minutes my ass. You wake up disoriented and
feeling sick for hours. Don't give me that crap.)
__Really, just a few minutes and you'll wake up with your baby all
safe and sound.__
(SHUT UP. SHUT UP. Somebody make him shut up. It's
painful because you screwed up the anesthesia but it's my
pain. It's the birth of my child. I won't miss it. I don't care if it
hurts, oh God how it hurts. Burning knives, acid knives. But I
can take it. If this is my baby's birth, so be it. I can take it.)
__It's a girl. She looks fine.__
(All I can see is her little leg. Bring her here. Don't wrap her
up. She's mine, do you hear. She's mine. Let me see her. What
are you doing.)
__Here Daddy, how would you like to hold your little daughter?__
(She's my baby. I've waited so long. Let me hold her. Get these
damn straps off my arms and let me hold her.)
__Daddy can go with her to the nursery while we take care of
Mommy. We'll bring her to you soon in the Recovery Room. She's
fine. Don't worry.__
(I'm shaking. What's that noise?)
__Oh there's another mother in the Delivery Room. She is making a
racket isn't she. Here. Here's a nice heated blanket. The shaking is
just from shock. You'll be OK. Your baby will be brought here
soon.__
(Oh thank you. Thank you. You're the first person who's
treated me as a human being. The warmth feels so good. My
poor baby. And poor me. I read so much. I knew about
everything that could happen but it wasn't enough. Nothing
prepared me for the pain, the shock. I'm so angry. I'm so
unhappy. Why won't I stop shaking.)
__Here's your baby. Isn't she lovely.__
(Hello poor little one. Face all tight. Eyes closed. What a funny
cap they've put on you. Who do you look like. Is it really you.
What a rough time we've had. Don't worry. It will be all right
now.)
__Well we don't want to bring you onto the regular ward. You're
roommate will be sleeping. It is the middle of the night. You just rest
here and we'll bring you up first thing in the morning.__
(Wait, wait...don't leave me in here all alone. It's that room
like a cell. Is this where you put the failures, is this the punishment.
It's dark. Don't leave me here alone.)
---WHEN THE ANESTHESIA WEARS OFF YOU MAY FEEL A
TINGLING SENSATION. THE NURSE WILL BE READY WITH
PAIN RELIEF MEDICATION WHEN YOU NEED IT. THE
INCISION MAY TUG A BIT.---
(I'm so tired. I can't sleep. Oh...my legs. Like they've been
asleep. No circulation. Maybe if I can move them it will
help....No....unnnh...it hurts. Oh my God, it hurts. It feels like
someone cut me open and rummaged around in the core of my
being. Someone did, you idiot. What do you think that was all
about. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. Where is everyone. Won't
anyone come and help me. What a bunch of bastards. It hurts
so much. Don't cry, they didn't even leave you a tissue. Is it
getting light out yet. Will this night never end. What time is it.
It hurts.)
__And how are we feeling this morning. We'll have to get up and
walk a little bit. Don't worry, we'll help you.__
__You did fine. Do you want your baby brought this evening?__
__We've brought her to you so you can feed her now. She's such a
good little girl. We call her the Gerber baby in the nursery. She never
cries.__
(Hello baby. You know what? The bad pain is almost gone. Now it just
hurts like you would expect a cut to hurt. Look at you, you're
eyes are open. You're arms wide open reaching for me. What a precious you
are. How could I fall in love just like that, so fast. Yes you are
mine and I'm your own Mommy. Look at your beautiful eyes,
such tiny hands, but your strong already aren't you. We're
going to get out of here as soon as we can so they won't take you
away from me again. No one's going to take you away from me
again. No one is going to ever do any of this to us again. Just you and
me kiddoe, and the hell with the rest of them.)
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 29 Apr 1992 06:37:40 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage < CHEATING>
Subject: Re: 3,056 Faces Of Eve
In-Reply-To: Message of Mon, 27 Apr 1992 16:15:21 PDT from <JEFFREY>
My God, Jeffrey, it has been a year, and you are only now perturbed
enough to inquire? This is hardly the behavior of a good sbrhymer,
and, naturally enough, it shall be placed on your permanent record.
I did not think this part of the "courtship"/"dialogue" was that
difficult to comprehend, but, given the frenzied style of your recent
posts, I shall answer it directly:
On the side of the angels and East of Eden, which means little more
than that she rises before the best of us -- even this early here and
she's probably already gone for a few games of tennis, taught a class,
and participated in a rally for the student association to protest the
levying of dues for a new slogan for all of East Anglia -- there exists
a charming young woman, or at least she has utilized whenever given the
chance both the neuter and female gender to refer to herself and never
the male, so it is easier to assume that this is the case, who, borrowing
openly, as she's noted, from the novels of Leslie Charteris, who, despite
the name, is male, has entitled herself "Hoppie Uniatz". For the purpose
of this discussion, she may safely be referred to as "H.". Her node is
-- and I've become quite good at typing the entire thing without looking
-- H.UNIATZ. She came to reside here after spending
many of her developmental years terrorizing the oceanside of Ireland
at the STANIFHLATHU node, which I no longer have committed to memory, I
confess, as it recently underwent a facelift; this node, which is still
in existence, is located at University College, Galway. In addition,
occasionally someone either under her bidding or perhaps without her
knowledge "gives up" their account temporarily to allow postings to
appear; these include, at Galway, ENLNIFHLATHU and STANEWELL, and, at
East Anglia, H800; although I'm too kind, I shall only relate that
the account of H800, which, contrary to Daniel Foss' rather confused
assertions on a different list, does exist, belongs to Peter Panayi.
Occasionally she'll bring along an entourage; sometimes, as happened
on a different list -- my God, I'm being polite -- someone will
recognize her and make the mistake of greeting her in, to some degree,
a friendly manner; it usually takes them several weeks before they are
able to post again. She is, as far as needs be noted, a goddess;
however, her weakness stems from not being wise and suffering fools
with open arms. (Have I been politic enough, H.? If not, I've no
doubt you'll let me know.)
On the same side of the Atlantic, considering the standard Greenwich
division, as yourself resides one completely and utterly artificial
node: CHEATING, sometimes, I understand, emerging as
its Internet domain, CHEATING@CCVM.sunysb.edu. It used to "reside",
if you will, at CHEATING@; it was forcibly removed when
an initial "scare" of sorts happened. It has been operated by a
steady stream of dedicated individuals, both here and elsewhere; here,
one nice scrivener, now rather sullied, made a concentrated effort
to keep an ongoing discourse with H. Originally, this was T.; later,
in deference to the dearly beloved and dearly departed Tim Field,
this became M. In addition, M. has had the gall to provide self-
reference of "Dktr. Subtilis (ego vamp - " and "Mollusk Infrastructure";
any others I shall allow her to provide. However, late in February,
feeling somewhat hounded, M. dispersed, believing that CHEATING would
die that calm death of most nodes, other than Karin's. M. went on
to Usenet where, on last call, the popular dives included bit.listserv.
history and bit.listserv.fnord-l, much to Pat's chagrin. However,
CHEATING, which is little more than a launching board, has not gone
the way of all flesh, and the gentle push which made certain that M.
went for higher pastures has allowed myself to wander in various
directions. I refer to myself as Juniper Sage; albeit pretentious,
I like the moniker primarily because H. provided me with it, just as
she provided Cuthbert with his.
Are there any questions? I do so hope not, as I've said far more than
needed to be said, but as I quite honestly could care less for this
little game of espionage which has transpired over the past year, it
truly makes little difference now what galleys and scaffolds may
collapse. To be honest, I'm hopeful that the initial proddings of
GR4302 and E010 prove to be more than banter and might emerge into
a Phaedrus of sorts; although they at present like to dabble in
latin-derived words which sound very impressive, no doubt, I'll be
curious to see where, and if, it leads anywhere remotely substantial.
And, Jeffrey, to your concerns: did you find the help you were looking
for on WRITERS? A suggestion: as you have no plot, and there are an
intolerable number who like to assert claims as to the role of dialogue
in carrying forth the story, don't worry about dialogue; indeed, don't
spend too much time pandering to your characters and their needs: you
are, obviously, only in it for the situation, and that is sufficient to
provide the impetus. However, it requires sacrificing some of the
accomplished sniveling which are part and partial of the detective
story, but, I suppose, that is the choice you must make.
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 29 Apr 1992 07:42:31 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: REPEAT, AFTER ME...BLAH, BLAH AND BLAH...
In-Reply-To: Message of Mon,
27 Apr 1992 19:25:02 CST from <C653SCB@ >
C653SCB: You're not really as much a desperado as you might wish.
See, the unfortunate aspect of SBRHYM is that, while scintillating,
glamorous, endearing, inquisitive, and deipnosophical, as H. descried
it, we're hardly the warm-hearted urban-dwelling vox populi to be
terrorized by one whose life is not worth a buffalo nickel, which is
what, if you aspire to be a desperado, you would be. A gunslinger is
acceptable; and I find that the position of Harlequin desperately
needs to be filled, as the last to own and operate it ... well,
perhaps if you're considering it I best not mention that sordid tale.
Regardless, you're welcome, completely, to bother us all you wish,
and if you're feeling the slightest need, feel free to take aim at
GR4302; you may very well hit and kill him, and you wouldn't be the
first. Incidentally, have you heard? That FCC threat, like the
speech of Chief Seattle, is an urban legend, but do write anyway, as
I've no doubt that your congressperson would love to hear from you.
And I make the same recommendation to you, and to E010, that was
already made to GR4302: give up the locale and head south, roughly,
to Memphis; it's but a short trot for the whole lot of you, and its
pull is substantially more worthwhile than, say, St. Louis.
JS
========================================================================
Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1992 14:09:33 PDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: JEFFREY
Subject: 3056 Faces Of Eve Continued
Thank you for your direct reply to my question, "Aren't you
all the same person posting under different names?". It was
very enlightening. And yes I did receive some help from the
Writers list, though it has not done anything to mititgate the
recent frenzied tones of my postings. But I am not perturbed.
One further question to you, Juniper Sage. Aren't all the
postings by Juniper Sage, Uniatz, M, Dktr Subtilis, (and the
rest) all written by the same person? It sure sounds like it.
Maybe I just don't get it. Anyway, sorry to keep asking the
same question, but I'm amazed at how similar in tone are all
the postings from the SBRHYM'ers mentioned above. I still think
it's one person doing all the writing. Thanks again...
--Jeffrey
========================================================================
Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1992 17:26:00 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: JS <CHEATING >
Subject: I have slept. I am now replying, if that suits you.
In-Reply-To: Message of Wed,
29 Apr 1992 20:52:00 GMT from <H.UNIATZ>
Then, please, direct dire threats at me; I'll consider possibly informing
M. in some round-a-bout manner which will provide the proper scare for
our Hero; however, without you, M. could wither and die -- wouldn't that
be fun?
In car-parks or intersections, it makes no difference; and you are, of
course, correct in your pride: it is "shan't" indeed. Please note that
it's also "windowpane". But I can tell from your insinuation I'd best
proceed with great care, as you're (sic, H., sic, so you won't be
confused) monumental powers of deduction might someday discover what
exactly is going on behind this curtain. I tremble at the challenge.
You may extrapolate what you like; my operations will persist at the
same steady rate; and Jeffrey's request, as you predicted, has been
processed and filled.
M. was murdered in a most delicious manner by me; there is no two ways
around it, and I make no apologies nor excuses. But you, in a panic-
besieged moment, provided the murder weapon, and I thank you for it,
I do. Perhaps I can repay the favor? Perhaps there is a question
that you would like divined? [I jest, H.]
Do you find rising early hinders your powers of detection notably? I
ask only as I find great comfort in the thought that, if I were only
able to follow a schedule such as you have layed before me, I might
be as gifted as you. An enticing thought, no?
JS
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