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========================================================================
Date: Tue, 2 Jun 1992 20:47:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: strangler <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: performative
One-liner.
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Date: Wed, 3 Jun 1992 09:58:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: strangler <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: paraleipomenon
Inestimabler & inestimabler.
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Date: Wed, 3 Jun 1992 08:37:49 CDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Gene <TACVEFH@ >
Subject: Re: rs v.p.
In-Reply-To: Message of Tue,
2 Jun 1992 16:28:00 GMT from <CSTMADDEN@ >
Somebody, anybody, get me off this list NOW!
NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!
I mean it.
========================================================================
Date: Mon, 1 Jun 1992 00:00:01 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground
<SBRHYM-L%SBCCVM.bitnet@UICVM.UIC.EDU>
Subject: The Best Lines of May 1992
my face...he said...ok...was ok, had no idea, took no idea...
floundered in my orals."
TRY TO FUCK YOU during the Mossadegh regime in Iran and the Western oilboycott
many redeeming values. As pets they are unmatched, both for
hemoglobiny microthingies through ratsnest Discovered by the most whiteWilliam
At this point I decided to Enjoy Life, to limited extent permitted by DrA's
not good enough. Shrins are the only large group of people authorized to lie
The Magic Number I got shows just that I was a Jewish Only Child, that Iwas
die die you fish-headed geeks! nope--no more, no more M. NicePerson,no,no.
who sees the squirrel and cannnot help but peel with the laughter ofdeciding
GeorgethefuckRillylookedlikeanasstonightcallingouttheflippinarmypissonyou4302gosh i'm all e-choked up--
to illicit an e-pat on the beck, but tonite i'm too too
Of.
way through a small group of rummaging females, whose collective
all the way to 'Bama and the Gulf, sliding entirely its length East
other hand couldn't eat a pig with the proper grin if your entire
Look to your soul, Cuthbert, for there you will find the loam
a piece to us all and steady hand. and i'm a hearin'. one two...sorry
come master Junius. come come traitors of ancient miracle crimes
He can tell you little, though, about Cuthbert- and I must insist on the
predeliction to shred everything given them. Well, where little is
by mere money bought.
certain elements of your message of Sat, 2 May 1992 13:09:56 CDT which
problem for another time. It troubles me...
Bristol who could direct you maybe. I know, goddesses care little
head; I have not yet formulated a lasting view-point on this, and would
the cost of obsolete rosematter from $20 to $12, may they play thepollenaise
'zwut you'd need and you caint git no license for that not in this state
***********************
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Date: Wed, 3 Jun 1992 11:08:16 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS>
Subject: Re: rs v.p. [correction]
Pardon me, was wearing the wrong pair of glasses, meant "Gene,"
TACVEFH@. While "Get-me-off-this-list messages as a sub-genre of
e-Literature" cannot compare at this time with the currently burgeoningfield
of Madonna Studies as a research specialty, this piece is certain to attract
attention, especially in consideration of the artist's propinquity to Little
Rock, Arkansas, site of the world-famous Institute for E-PostmodernistStudies
of Misdirected E-Messages, University of Arkansas at Little Rock.
DAF
========================================================================
Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1992 02:25:20 CST
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: GR4302
Subject: log the dog, poke 'im in the ribs and hooooowl like ananimal!!
"Let me see you scar!" he said, eyes beedy and snout catching the breeze.
"No no nono no, you cannot," she answered and smiled bashfully as inside
she prepared to aim a kick ifin it became necessary.
"Necessity comes in many sizes and labels," intoned her developing
consciousness, "concessions mean someone's getting a piece of
candy, or at least a grape..."
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Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1992 04:59:39 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING@SBCCVM.BITNET>
Subject: Of Numbered Days and Pennywhistles
GR4302, I've never regretted you, and I sincerely doubt that I shall
start any time soon. Now that it has become clear that the list is
a pagentry of double-agency and potentially limitless victimization,
I can die, soon, resting assured that it has once again risen back
to form -- though, let it be noted here that I do not plan to die
without "giving as good as I get": let that be a warning for secret-
mongerers, with their mongrel histories (and HISTORYs; welcome back,
Daniel) of lies and assumptions. A new age is dawning, and I heartily
welcome TACVEFH to stay and maintain the "literature" which has been
proffered. Let those who seek comprehension and the complete removal
of obfuscatory material from their drains beware: what goes around...
========================================================================
Date: Sat, 6 Jun 1992 19:06:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Strangler Aagonschmidt <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: semantics
Comrades,
Please meet Reginald. Reginald is my friend. I am desirous
of knowing: if I am a monoglot, and Reginald here is a monoglot,
and my glot is the same, bar certain dialectical dissimilarities
based solely on regional variation, as his glot, do we together
constitute a polyglot, or not?
strangler
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Date: Mon, 8 Jun 1992 12:54:19 CST
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: GR4302
Subject: Obfuscation...good!
Dusseldorf 1969: Yes, yes, gooood! Obfuscation, obfuscation and my
genitals are the world! Old paintings old buildings fanatastic cites 2C...
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Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1992 14:21:16 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS>
Subject: Rambo is Jewish
- Foss is now such a shell of couldn't-have-ever-been-in-the-first-place
he's got to invent fictitious characters to talk behind his back as not even
real Paranoid delusions will waste their valuable time on that any more andthe
lowest idiots on floors Four, Seven, and Three are avoiding noticing he's in
the same elevator.
- Is that all there is to this job, I am quitting this instant, I appliedto
Gogol, I applied to Fyodor D., what did I do to deserve getting "accepted"to
this place?
- And he even got so out of it he supposed the Political ScienceDepartment
was not watching him when it was, so now he is in Very Deep Trouble. When he
was Undrugged he was having narcoleptic nod-outs in their smoking lounge,then
chainsmoking like a furnace to get enough nicotine stimulation to lurch tothe
DATALAB to write oneline letters to Janie Johnson saying he was too far goneto
use the computer, twiddle the e-dial to see if there was anybody good on,read
e-mail, write a one-line letter to someone else saying he couldn't use the
computer, reading more e-mail, in short conspicuously doing nothing whichtook
four hours, going back to the smoking lounge to smoke like a furnace to getthe
energy to call the cab to take him the three blocks back home, in short beinga
Public Nuisance, taking the Homelessness Problem out of the classroom whereit
belongs, being an Esthetic Blight & Offense to the Sensibilities ofDecent
People, and scaring women raising clamor for another Rape Awareness Week
*without anybody actually even thinking this*, understand, just *noticing*,at
most checking with Campus Public Safety which had one cop so Retarded hetold
Foss about the dossier.
Then the long-awaited New Prescription, he gets five days of ChemicalBends,
attempting conversation with people he does not deserve to know, accosting
decent women with spuriously innocent-looking greetings, scaring other womenby
apologizing for having made strange noises to himself which they may havepick-
ed up on but ignored, facing in the direction of women exibiting that gonna-
rape-ya eyeball tic sunk in the fatuity that he can't see them is excuseenough
and twitching from caffeine side-effects. Also Peering Into classroomsgetting
people Disturbed, which happens on the Fourth Floor too but he isSociology's
Humanitarian Liberal Gesture which Pol Sci wants no part of.
Naturally nobody but nobody goes around Caveatting somebody this psycho,so
if they can't ignore, they humor, you know what I mean, "anticipatorymonitor-
ing," the works, if he Suspects he's Paranoid, "catch-22," but no, too wackoto
occur to him, even Really Believes one and a half people are friends withhim.
Pol Sci has Rules forbidding anyone to make wordlike sounds in his direction
and has disciplined the one-and-a-half people in question who aren't even
coming into the DATALAB. For having committed Positive Reinforcement. Somaybe
next week the DFOSS show goes off the air.
- No wonder wallowing-in-self-pity is illegal, they'd rather have yousmoke
crack. What's this gossip we are paid the $20 to talk about?
****
- There's a Vietnam Veteran named Howard Feldman who is a graduatestudent
on the Fourth Floor. Think of Rambo. Now, think of Rambo as Jewish. Got that
clear? Well, back last year, academic, Foss turned Howard Feldman ontoVWAR-L
@UBVM, where BLUE HERRING is listowner. That's all, said nothing about BLUE
HERRING, figured all Howard had to do was be himself, you know, Howard has a
Vietnam Veteran image to live up to, and BLUE HERRING would self-destruct.Not
that Howard is, uh, difficult, it's just that he is loyal exclusively to "My
Brothers," he's gonna get even to whoever did in My Brothers among whom wasof
course Howard. Who is a Marxist Revolutionary, who is a Fascist, who isevery-
thing Angry. Not just that he believes it, he has a responsibility to lookthe
part. And Professor Michael S. Schwartz, in the words of Ollie North, loveshis
ass.
- Wasn't that when Ollie said, "The Old Man loves my ass"? Meaning Ronald
Reagan who was playing the President on the Series, the time slot now filled
by the spinoff? Ollie's problem, everybody always knew about Ollie'sproblem,
which was to George Bush Ollie was *expendable*.
- To George Bush even Fawn Hall was expendable, and that is the truemeasure
of George Bush's evil, anybody who'd consider Fawn Hall expendable, the only
hunan being in the entire movie, is the incarnation of evil.
- Michael S. Schwartz, you know, is the same guy Ralph W. Larkin oncecalled
"not THE Michael S. Schwartz!" He really is. More important for ourpurposes,
he is the same Michael S. Schwartz played by Woody Allen in THE LAST OEDIPUS
COMPLEX IN THE BRONX, which is Woody Allen's tribute to the Other Side ofthe
Jewish Lower Middle Class culture which produced the genius of Woody Allen,Bob
Dylan, Michael S. Schwartz. The Other Sidedness is symbolized by the Eternal
Opposition of Brooklyn and Bronx, if your relatives were in one they weren'tin
the other or you never saw them as long as you lived, you know. And therewas
Dodger Alienation.
All the Jews were for the Dodgers, the rare deviant was for the Giants,even
after tho move to the Coast, all through the First Intermediate Period up to
the Foundation of the Mets, the eraction of the once-noble Shea Stadium tobe
the Ruins of the 1964 World's Fair, and so on. Nobody was so antihuman as tobe
an outandout race traitor, you know, for the Yankees, except Ignace Foss,who
became allarmenianized as Irving. And his reputed only child, Daniel A., who
was from the beginning cast out of his Tribe, didn't know any better, andhated
the species worse than the old man anyway.
But way off in The Bronx you had no contact with Ebbets Field, you had no
intimate Dodger-relation, you were cut off from all the intimate springs of
life amid souls of grayish cardboard. So here is the symmetry of the film,on
one side of the Grand Concourse is Son-of-Sam, on the other is Daniel A.Foss,
each growing up in a different variant of Otherness from what produced the
successes, the winners, the geniuses, the trascentently prophetic, andlatterly
the revolutionary-visionary.
Woody Allen had one hell of a time with some of the casting. Son-of-Samwas
the easiest, you know, iforgotwhoitwas who played "Pvt Gomer Pyle" in Full
Metal Jacket. Daniel A. Foss was a problem, because you just can't show akid
that disgusting on the screen, you lose the audience, and where you going to
get an actor who can self-consciously PLAY THE PART unless he already IS the
part? But if the kid already IS the part, how is he gonna break intoHollywood?
Michael S. Schwartz was the easiest, because he looks like the spitting
image of Woody Allen! That's even his problem, "He can't Deal With his Woody
Allenness," they say. He denies it. But the Woody Allenish *essence* is all
the place with him, you can't miss it, he can't stifle it.
- You ran on so long, dammit, I forgot which character I was. Now, here's
Howard Feldman suddenly important to Foss for two reasons.
- Right. He is a walking encyclopedia of everyone killed, wounded,missing,
or just a bored disgruntled grunt, for the whole Vietnam Era. First thing,Foss
is afraid, *was afraid*, this was last week, that Jnie Johnson had gotmarried
to him in a ceremony conducted without his consent or knowledge by a Witchname
of Starhawk. So that Janie Johnson is now Wife #3. Which does not matter inthe
least regarding such that the alleged wedding was never consummated, thatJanie
Johnson is still virgo intacta, because in the Witch religion it isperfectly
normal and natural that if you go near a practicing Witch with dirtythoughts
in mind and you are not the authentic Old Nick in person she will as amatter
of course shrivel your balls and make your dick fall off.
So Foss has taken the vow of eternal adultery like Bill Clinton his likeit
or not leader. Should anything in that area ever happen shich is out of the
question, who cares.
- What does Starhawk have to do with the Vietam War, goddammit, you are
talking my ear off!
- Practically nothing, that's the point! The A5A Starhawk was a Navybomber
so piss poor in design and engineering that you launched one off a carrierit
fell plop into the water or it got blown up by its own Retarded Bombs or it
fell out of the sky before getting near NVA flak or missles.
One and only one A5A Starhawk actaually Saw Action, combat, in the 'Nam,and
Howard Feldman knows it. Knows every doomed second of its tragic flight path
the day, April 23, 1971, he says, it was shot down over Vinh, no chute,total
destruction after a Son-of-Sam 6 flew up its tail.
Starhawk has been dead for 21 years!
Foss cannot possibly be married!
But that was *last week*. This week, Foss is worried he's not *goodenough*
for Janie Johnson!
- And the other reason Howard Feldman is suddenly important? Crazier even
than this stupid shit I suppose?
- You catch on! Monday Foss corners Howard Feldman in the hall walking in
direction of Michael S. Schwartz's office, 409 South. Undrugged, Foss cannot
make it from where he's lying semiconscious on the floor of 426 North allthe
way to the other end of South, but Undrugged this day he is not. Howard
Feldman catches himself not walking his Rambo Walk, accesses his Rambosoftware
and activates Ramboistic swing of biceppy arms.
"I've fictionalized you, Howard." Foss is still worried on Monday thatBLUE
HERRING will ID Howard on VWAR-L LIST, but BLUE HERRING has refrained fromFoss
baiting so long - imagine when the Fish is out to catch you! - Foss is sure,
either BLUE HERRING is safely dead OR, considering how the HISTORY peoplehave
broken nearly all imaginable or unimaginable food taboos, he is prepared todo
the Ultimate, to eat BLUE HERRING, pardon the FNORDism, RAW, on daytime
television.
"You fictionalized me as what?"
"As a character called The Veteran, who *personally* rescued two MIAs in
1987, said rescuees looking all-armenian sure enough yet on account ofcommie
brainwashing by the Pathetic Lao have refused or have become unable to speak
anything but Laotian ever since."
"That's right, every word of that is true, I went in there, I rescued two
of My Brothers. You know who or what ELSE was there, the pigshit phony whodid
absolutely *nothing* to resucue *anybody* wile throwing out, not his ownmoney
of which he's got more than he himself plus the IRS together can ever count,
but the nickels and dimes of wives and children of MIAs, the fuck?"
"H. Ross Peroo-hoo-hoo?"
"Correct, I know it all, I saw it all, They know what I know, They aregonna
come after me, They can only kill one of me which They have not done yet not
that They haven't tried, but They can try again. I'm guaranteeing you, Foss,
there may be one less of me but a lot fewer of Them you'll ever believe. You
know what was wrong with the people who made those Rambo pictures, Foss?"
"What, Howard?"
"They were afraid of the sight of blood."
- Time's up. We are Normal, we got something to do after work. Onething.
What does Woody Allen have to say about the difference between Son of Samand
Daniel A. Foss?
- Son of Sam had strength of character and courage of his convictions.
Daniel A. Foss
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Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1992 17:39:36 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Gregory M. Gregoriou" <ggregori@ >
Subject: Re: Rambo is Jewish
In-Reply-To: from "Daniel A. Foss" at Jun 10, 92 2:21 pm
Excuse me, but.. do I know you from somewhere?
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1992 17:54:51 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS>
Subject: There must be some mistake
I'm terribly sorry, Mr or Dr Gregory M. Gregoriou, you must have meconfused
with one of the other terribly nondescript nonentities on the campus of SUNYat
Stony Brook. Mine is a face instantly forgotten, with the occasionalexception
of those with some reason to feel uneasy, to have a sickening sinkingsuspicion
that they might see it again.
Sorry.
Daniel A. Foss
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Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1992 18:11:02 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Gregory M. Gregoriou" <ggregori@ >
Subject: Re: There must be some mistake
In-Reply-To: from "Daniel A. Foss" at Jun 10, 92 5:54 pm
Yeah, but what are you sending all this mail to me for?
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1992 18:33:13 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS>
Subject: Suggestions for the perplexed subscriber just heard from
I would suggest to Dr or Mr Gregor M. Gregoriou that he has forgottenthat
he subscribed at some remote time in the past to the LISTSERV list SBRHYM-L@
SBCCVM and unsubscribe by the usual means or by nagging of the Listowner.
A remote, implausible, and scientifically unacceptable possibilityremains
of supernatural intervention in that there corresponds to the userid on file
SBRHYM-L the Full Name "New Testament." If the subscriber suspects that some
supernatural entity is wroth with him, a bit of fasting and prayes does the
trick, usually. If the trouble persists, the subscriber should read the Bookof
Job awhile, console ye that sooner or later the Almighty must go home to his
wife and kids, and will let ye off for good behaviour or for pleading guiltyto
a lesser charge.
However grave the sacrilege, this is not Iran. Yet.
Margbar Omrika!
Daniel A. Foss
========================================================================
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1992 19:29:56 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS>
Subject: Cultural elite?
Sir, I shall demonstrate anytime anywhere that I'm even more of aRetardate
than Vice President Quayle himself, as would be anticipated from havingspent
even more hours in front of the tube where I am now, and there isn't even
anybody good on.
The cultural elite reads books. The tube blinds me; after a passionate
mainframe experience moreover I cannot foucus upon the printed word. Itcould
be worse: went blindest fastest on WP 5.1, bright colors do it.
DAF
"In the eye of God all keystrokes are equal."
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Date: Thu, 11 Jun 1992 15:24:22 CDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Dktr. Haggard [heart] Bill" <cheating@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Subject: Re: Suggestions for the perplexed subscriber just heard from
In-Reply-To: <TEST%92061018442020@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
Magyar. test. How common is a name: Foss? Armenian Yoghurt Soup for
the brethren! Test: have I come home yets?
Good to see you, Michael, joining this neck. GR4302: That novel?
My Hoppie, I could cry: Reginald is a tad invisible. No matter:
<proof> in the condition of entreatment: Bunyon.
E-migrating to Home Ward (just down from the Burn Ward): catch as
can be caught.
Seriously, I could cry. As we dream: and I'm not alone.
M. (having had enough of had done with)
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