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========================================================================
Date: Fri, 8 May 1992 00:38:18 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING@SBCCVM.BITNET>
Subject: News
N is for the Ne'erdowell truncation
E is for the Earnest Reputation
W is for the Ways of indoctrination
S is for the Sweeping transubstantiation...
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Date: Sat, 9 May 1992 12:21:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Strangler Aagonschmidt <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: Re: News
It would indeed appear that it is so.
========================================================================
Date: Fri, 8 May 1992 17:25:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Strangler Aagonschmidt <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: Don't bank on what, and why not?
In a continuation of your bisection protocol (only one (1) more
stab at self-splitting and you'll be divined tripartite divine),
you represent yourself monstrously four-yeuxed for my delectation,
so that not even your piteously pallored heart can move me to any
measure of sufferance. Nevertheless, I'll be aidful of your
slaloming: by "your" creation, I meant, reading in a run-o'-the-mill
manner, myself as you mise me en scene, specifically in cookie
personae, and, reading for pernicious perspectives, your spurious
and O-so-wretchedly-besieged self. How you choose to take it is,
of course, no business of mine (and I've grown wary on that front,
now only speaking when spoken to), but here's what is: you belabour
an old point (m'dear's a !revanchist! sincerely h760)), and I am,
as you were (slung-shot impugned then and gently endorsed now),
totally ignorant of even the most imprecise and waffled meaning of
any of these obduracies. This is why it was most incircumspect to
hazard a harlequin.
H.
========================================================================
Date: Sat, 09 May 92 23:25:34 EDT
From: "<<<?>>>" <DFOSS >
Subject: Dying so feeling so Great I'm gonna do Normal thingies
To: Zazaz Zazaz <zuzuz@scabropustule.brunanburh.aqq.uk>
Zz--
Called Fofo & Fof fofofofo today, asked what "idiopathic lung disease"meant
so got told, "etiology unknown," which Fofo kindly translated as, "theydunno
whaddafuck it is," and, frankly, they don't care as this is such rarepathology
- the idio part of idiopathic - they can't be bothered with the three orfour
Cases - previously people - who have each Greekish-looking wordoid in the
medicotexts where, as ever and anon, lumpers vie with splitters.
At the rate this got worse since last June-July I figure I have two yearsto
live or reach a state - whereof, worse luck, I shall be compelled to begrosso
modo conscious - discriminable from la mort by medicoscietifical-lookinghigh-
technicalities only as expensive contraptions extravagantly beep.
At this point I decided to Enjoy Life, to limited extent permitted by DrA's
niggardly dosage: Dexedrine palliates the disease by stimulating circulationof
hemoglobiny microthingies through ratsnest Discovered by the most whiteWilliam
Harvey in 1666 and Taoists 1000 years before that. Dr A's counterdepression
notwithstanding his Observed/Exhibited Behaviours follow predicted patterns
consistent with predicted adhesion to inference-heuristic cognitive schemata
invoked such that he, as the paid representation and personification ofReality
-as-habitus can only construe the proceedings asdope-crazed-junkie-speedfreak
whining for more dope for selfdestrictive high-old-times of dissipation.This
the veritable epitome of course of paranoid-of-paranoid ideation should Iever
tell him as much to his face, but, withal, TRUE. The truth-value of aproposi-
tion uttered to Mental Illness Practitioner by any patient, let alone aVISIBLY
crazy person, has no epistemological standing except pathological materialfor
diagnostic use by looking up in DSM-III-R, which I recall here inclues the
schizophrenia-symptomatic character of Neologisms And Overelaborate Words.Much
more on this later; gotta sort out lots of primitive savage ideation thatwent
down Thursday morning. I mean the tribal sort, not hate (mine) or contempt&
loathing (his), which was without question present.
What did you mean in that post about Workaholism? Pishtosh and poppycock.
For the six months since my dyscanceration (and I should tell you also thaton
Thursday morning when I told Dr A of my guess about emphysema I gotdysemphese-
mated as well when Dr A INSISTED on an immediate call to the lab, especiallyas
I told him it was unnecessary, suspecting that the slightest justificationfor
an interpretation, FINDINGS NEGATIVE, would lead straightaway tochastisement
by antidepressant poisoning, dexdose reduction, charges of this or that kindof
delusion; there were 11 classifications of delusions in the Literature whenI
had the Clamshack job, muchlike late scholastics formulating a taxonomy of
demons assigned in a determinate fashion ot combat units under unifiedcommand
structure in the Satanic Host):
Turns out I have no more emphysema than stataverage tailpipesuckingcommuta-
tive socially functioning motorist from motorious vehicular traffic in cars(as
opposed to traffic in guns, traffic in Drugs, "incestuous traffick," &such)you
find are the denizens of Suffix County. Long Island, like California, doesit
in the road.
But I do have this other thing.
Which causes Depression. Depression does not cause this other thing.Which
he told me, serene absolute conviction moral thelogical certainty, I had gota
riliwana spirit to make myself sick. Fofofofo, whom I wanted, remember, toput
On Ice for Extortion, "I had to buy your labor with PRESCRIPTIONS! I had tobuy
your labor with PRESCRIPTIONS!" into as I told you the Lafeyette cardioidcon-
denser microphone plugged into the SONY tapedeck, never told Axhxhxh aboutthat
as I've learned a thing or two about Reality, FOFOFOFO advised me to SUE DrA!
From Reality is derived the inference heuristic that Dr A would, like Dr W,be
covered by the Insanity Defense: Just lookit THAT, then lookit me, thenlookit
THAT again, who'dja believe?
Never told you about this tidbitty:
The lawyer I went to had office on top floor of 60 Broad St, NYC, thenITT
Building and subsequently offices of evil Drexel Burnham Lambert; hence inour
era Corporate Headquarters of fictional Indo European Corporationfictitiously
owning the imaginary Rights to the English Language, "fieldtested AD 441."
("Machines speak our language, money speaks our language, YOU speak our
language.") Well, ya ain't heard yet that Hengist and Horsa, bandaged headto
foot, show up on this BBC telly talk show, and they are SUING for "a fortune
beyond the dreams of avarice solicitor 'e said, 'ow much is that insterling,
say we, 'e says takes more time with the quill pen you know, this is theCity,
there is such a thing as Tradition, old chaps, but I'm sure you realize that
came after your time."
"Now, Mr Hengist, Mr Horsa, how did you, ah, incur these injuries onwhose
account you are suing the Indo European Corporation? And as a consequence
should the Crown rule against you, we might all be compelled to speak somme-
else as a first language?"
"'e told us the bloody place 'is for all practical purposes uninhabited,'
'e did."
******
No possible Workaholism, if I could figmentationally psychosomatizemyself
into that kind and degree of immobility, dizziness, immobility, latterly the
bleeding mouth; nottospeakof the collapsing on the floor and reading VERY
SLOWLY and time to time checking clock selfdirected intracortical speechlike
act Foss don'tcha think it's hightime ya moveyerass upstairs, cleanoutcher
fuckin e-mail, somepin' minimalistic, a gesture at least in that direction?
Good idea, noble in intention, virtuous in conception. But, onna udderhand,
NAAAAH, too much trouble, <yawn> think 'boutit agin tomorrow. And I onlygot
to the hospital chowline at 2pm, then only cuz I could only drag myself toone
meal at the cafeteria a day, and the latter was crosta street mindja. What's
the use of going to the office if I can't talk? So I just LAY THERE. I gotso
Depressed thought Fofofofo is absolutely right when he sez "Foss yer sofuckin'
insane it's beyond belief!"
No sooner decided was REALLY SICK fuck Dr A, I showed the pissant fergood
and all, he conceded every point except he wuz WRONG, and goes all the moreto
show he musta been hunnertpercent keerect onna Drugs, cuzzoda Side Effects
which, in context, means I LIKE THEM; and given the Christian/amsochisticmoral
substrate, takeyermedicine, swallowthebitterpill, surrounding Dope, hecannot
goodconsciencewise prescribe MORE unless and until I produce STATUScommensur-
ate with RESPONSIBLITY in ingestion.
Once again proof of the research hypothesis to the effect that, withStatus
it's childsplay to get MORE Dope than you need; without Status it'simpossible
to get anything approaching enough if you happen to need it, as thepractition-
er is exceeding out of pity and charity, as he she it sees it, his her its
medical responsibility by giving you just enough to hold off withdrawalsympt-
oms: Even if he tells you you need it, the research hypothesis predicts the
observed behavior is consistent with elsewise.
******
This afternoon just before I dumpted the rose rot on my goddamMother, cut
the cost of obsolete rosematter from $20 to $12, may they play thepollenaise
on my goddammama, called Mark Granovetter SocDept retiring Chair, he's gotta
fill course assignments with everybody who can get a weekend pass going on
leave and a couple of AWOLS the MPs cannot find, said, "Decided to EnjoyLife,
if any, wherefor as we know something like me is vouchsafed minimalisticallyin
such matters iff there be Status and not elsewise. So I wanna teach.Statuswise
it's be most helpful of course should I get minor exiguous sums in fakeremune-
ration backed up by phony-careless display of rightangle corner of paycheck
protruding from officiallooking envelope you know, which my beloved inLittle
Rock rails against as ACADEMIC SWEATSHOP yet for me would be tremendousupward
mobility! Which is not to say I am gonna go out and commit SexualHarrassment,
you KNOW I am shy inhibited nice Jewish boy, the worst you expect is, every-
thing I do is wrong. Even voluntarily proferring groupies I shall spurn you
have my word. And certes i shall nowise get taken unawares in RAPE AWARENESS
WEEK which thankgod's over."
And, shonuf, looks like there is spare change inna till. Won't make kinda
bigbux Khadijah's* making, $7000pa, but you can't live frever.
The best things in life cost status or, as the antropologists say,Symbolic
Capital.
Just thing, dunhafta fear HIV+ since unlike Magic J., nagonna livelongenuf
to get fullblown AIDS nohow.
This izza longest letter yagotfrom me inabout three, four years.
Reason is, not just new prescription, but high over pissant Dr A beingWRONG
though truenuf tis Symbolic in nature only as Dr A is the Dope Dealer andany
Dope Dealer is God. Something the genus Dope Dealer gets off on which cannotbe
by mere money bought.
Fantasy to be fruited anent teaching has as requisite & preconditiondosage
level of 60mg a day, never this boy gonna get it, too good fer me.
More Reality at some other time.
-----------------
(*) Khadijah1 Umm al-Jihad2 is the future name of organism known to History
as a Welfare Mother due to Denigration at finnyfinfin of BLUE HERRING in
consequence whereof DAF's initial experience of bodywide immobility due
to what now established we hope beyond reasonable doubt as Real Fatal
Disease. But that's a Fish Story of a whole 'nother colour of Fish.
Sorry for the cancer falsealarm, the emphysema false alarm, and all
the rest of the premature celbration; this is much better. They have no
idea what kinda overpriced futility to try on it and by the time they hit
even the starting point, figuring out which is the precisely correct
Greekish word, it'll be that much worser, haha. Hallelujah, hallelujah,
Saved by the bell at last.
(1) Khadijah was Prophet's old lady whom he married for her money &power
ofattorney - important in his religious emprowring - signed over to him.
(2) Umm al-Jihad is Mother of Battles, of course, whereyabin.
DAF
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Date: Sun, 10 May 1992 09:40:03 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS >
Subject: midnight knock on the door
yo brownsugar,
can hardly wait till yer a slender slinky thing with slave bracelet andwe
will carry your family bibles to the fire and we will have marxistfundamental-
ists thundering from the pulpit and the television and the audiocassette,
gimme dat oletime revolution
gimme dat oletime revolution
gimme dat oletime revolution
izgoodenufferme.
itwuzgoodferleontrotsky
it wuz good fer leon trotsky
it wuz good fer leon trotsky
iz good enuf fer me.
and in our better world willbe hanzakross da pacifie,
all the japs now our fiends,
cuz all we hadda do wuz destroy all the cars, ours and theirs,
they make ours and we make theirs and you can't tell the difference
except the ad agencies have this kinda you know national peculiarity
where it sez, DON'T THINK OF IT AS A CAR
THINK OF IT AS AN AFRICAN DISIAC.
How you pronounce that thing?
Infini-tighe.
Seems to me, an african disiac you put inside me.
A car is something you put me inside.
Of.
Now look, I tear the page out of the Scientific American like so
and I have an African Disiac.
But I don't think that is what they want me to do.
I suspect very strongly I match this picture against a boxlike metallic
object on t'other side of pain'a'gwass down by Route 347 [Nesconsett Hwy].
Then I get in the box and move the box from one box to another box then back
to the first box when they throw me out fore dark, wheeee, I AM FUNCTIONING.
Neither of us ever done that before so gotta take it slow.
*****
Today I sank with genuine sense of entitlement into bus seat marked
WON'T YOU PLEEEEZE GIVE UP THIS SEAT TO A
HANDICAPPED OR A SENILE DEMENTED PERSON
OR A DOPE-CRAZED DEGENERATE OR A FREAK,
SPORT, MET, OR MUTANT?
(Why, you selfish pig.)
***********************
THE MTA, NOT JUST ANOTHER
HEARTLESS BUREAUCRACY.
Today I have incited mob violence by isolated Paranoids against imaginary
BLUE HERRING you know whats.
If they do not purge me out of HISTORY or at least sic the FBI on me then
that proves they are all crazy and defenseless.
Longest thing I ever posted to HISTORY, 350 lines, told them Do whatever
Simone Signouret does to BLUE HERRING, she Knows.
****
Now I suppose you will get upset about Us, you know, we are supposed to
be having a Spiritual Relationship when the computer is not watching, but
you know that I have nothing to hide and I know that YOU have nothing tohide.
Neither one of us has ever existed very much. Which is why I say, emulatethose
two nice young people H and M or whatever they arbitrarily call themselves
whenever they feel like.
You wanna do me little favor, call yerself Mumtaz? I got this great idea
for yer tomb complete with reflecting pool, provided you don't convert to no
Hinduism before you drop.
Under socialism there will be no mother's day.
I'll get you an apt in Athena's Palace, overlooking the
Harbour at Port Jefferson, it's a shishkebab motel, and
we will sign in with fake wedding rings, get the suite with
armored motorized waterbeds and water cannon,
smashed mirror on the ceiling, and
I shall inquire
darling did you coma?
Daniel A. Foss
========================================================================
Date: Sun, 10 May 1992 19:40:40 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS >
Subject: brownsugar you are not the right girl to humansacrifice me witha
silver knife
o brownsugar praised be thy name
praise ye the name of jxjohnson at ualr.edu amen
o great goddess, immense thou art, thou fructify the fields when the
[barnyard epithet] gives out, thou feedest chickens from the pollutedwaters,
HAVE I GOT A BOOK FOR YOU!
George Duby, the greatest name in the Medieval Period, look for the name
George Duby whenever you enter a Cathedral down in Little Rock, and Michelle
Perrot, general editors, Pauline Schmitt Pantel, editor,
A HISTORY OF WOMEN: FROM ANCIENT GODDESSES TO CHRISTIAN SAINTS,Belknap/Har-
vard, 1992. I wanted one of those early models, you look the part, like some
chick I coulda picked up at Catal Huyuk, but you musta been made in a model
changeover year cuz you are equal parts Christian Saint.
The Japanese make a dynamite Goddess of Mercy that do things you do notdo
and takes 35mm pix besides, but can't afford the batteries.
Love and cliched shit let M&H puke.
DAF
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Date: Tue, 12 May 1992 00:43:52 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS >
Subject: No argument
Mr GR4302 is quite right. If he checks the record he will find that Istated
quite plainly that I'm Retarded, which I suspect (see Satirday) is slightlyto
do with whatever causes my hands to turn bluish on a coldish day when he,His
Whiteness, were he standing there would exhibit Normal healthy pinkish.Think
of my brain, I won't, the same way. The brain, ask any fnord, I no longerknow
them, takes the oxygen it wants, gives you what's left over as your change.If
the oxygen can't get across the capillary wall that piggish brain takes whatit
can get and something for a numbered swiss bank account; the brain gottaexpect
in this condition a coup by the armored brigade and the customary courtesy ofa
owneway ticket to Argentina.
Where does this leave the starving broad masses of cells known as TheBody
to the vulgar for short, since all but the ruling race of neurons lookalike?
On the floor of Room 426N, contemplating vague notions - no other kinds of
notions are possible - of getting up and doing something, too much trouble,
then vague notions of calling a cab to cover the easy walking distance to
Chinat...<sorry> Chapin Graduate Apartments.
The humor fails to humidify, the pseudointellectualism is readily spottedby
the outandout phonies, cannot so much as get a good curse even here.
Retarded. The ultimate Jewish disgrace.
My mother goddam her hide will breathe her last with that terrible word
ringing in her ears. No Ma, I never inherited your Magic Number, you had the
highest one in your high school class, you said, but everybody knows youwere
never very bright, even my father may he rest in peace knew it, and what adumb
fuck he was. The Magic Number the tester got when he came to the YeshivahTorah
V'Emunah wasn't real, Ma, they hadn't even put in the Performance Subtests,the
Performance Subtest scores what I get these days are those of an idiot, Ma,the
Abstract Reasoning shows I can't think my way out of a paper bag, dumberthan
goyish delinquents is what I am, Ma, and this was BEFORE the oxygen decidednot
to taking any chances getting past the capillary wall border guards.
The Magic Number I got shows just that I was a Jewish Only Child, that Iwas
my mother's son - MY GOD THAT'S WHY I TRIED TO REALLY, NOT LIKE IN THE BOOK,
TRY TO FUCK YOU during the Mossadegh regime in Iran and the Western oilboycott
one of those things and that is why I love everything Persian and Shi'iteand
all that stuff - and I went out there and did what I had to do although Iwas
never very bright, I was dumbass.
Now I'm RETARDED RETARDED RETARDED RETARDED serves you right you thought
YOUR SON whom you were Saving Up for the Future had a MagicNumber big enoughto
run for Messiah. And if you'd been right I'd be the Secular-HumanistDemocrat-
Liberal candidate for Messiah against the Lubovitcher Rebbe what is runningfor
Messiah on the Republican-Conservative-Right To Life ticket. Only because
really good people like Woody Allen won't enter the primaries.
Fuckmymother.
Margbar Omrika,
Daniel A. Foss
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Date: Wed, 13 May 1992 22:08:46 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: DAF <DFOSS >
Subject: Info needed
BLUE HERRING permanently recycled, fascism does not exist, all thoughtsof
fascism Paranoid ideation.
Golden flounder now all the rage. She writes from Univ Southern Calif, "I
floundered in my orals."
Need to know, What eats flounders?
DAF
========================================================================
Date: Thu, 14 May 1992 21:29:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: expiring strangler <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: comprehensible for summer O commemorate me where there are
ice-cubes
When I die (soon) of Overexposure to Heat, or of
Sun-stroke, or of Spontaneous Combustion, or of
Boiling of the Blood, I would like a simple
stone memorial in a COLD PLACE.
========================================================================
Date: Thu, 14 May 1992 16:44:38 EST
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: HG <HAG >
Subject: Re: comprehensible for summer O commemorate me where there are
ice-cubes
In-Reply-To: Message of Thu,
14 May 1992 21:29:00 GMT from <H.UNIATZ>
We'll try to reserve a spot for you in the caves of Smugglers' Notch.
The ice never melts in some places up there. You may even find an
old cask of smuggled rum left over from Jeffersonian embargo days, if the
bears haven't drunk it yet.
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Date: Thu, 14 May 1992 22:22:00 GMT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Strangler Aagonschmidt <H.UNIATZ>
Subject: rum-cubes, then
Oh, thank you, thank you, Hope A. Greenberg; please will you
email me Smugglers' Notch and I will pay for the postage
honest I will and drink cool beverages and repent of my
violations of divine law and principles of morality and sell
lockets with your picture and a microchip of that thing about
the woman who didn't have air-conditioning and the c-section
and the child to tourists and keep a stick of chewing-gum
continually freshly refridgerated for you would you prefer
fruit or spearmint the blackcurrant I fear is quite repulsive.
========================================================================
Date: Fri, 15 May 1992 15:03:10 EST
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: HAG <HAG >
Subject: Re: rum-cubes, then
In-Reply-To: Message of Thu,
14 May 1992 22:22:00 GMT from <H.UNIATZ>
Hmmm...occasional repentance is always a good idea, I'll pass on the
locket selling scheme, as well as on the chewing gum, refrigerated or
no. As for the childbirth story, best not pass it around as it is
too painful and gory even for someone with as highly developed
sensibilities as Grating Rilly, who at least keeps his gore in the
fantasy arena and would probably faint if he encountered even a
fraction of it in reality.
Expect at least a partial glacier via e-mail as soon as the technology
allows me to somehow digitize it.
- Hope
========================================================================
Date: Sat, 16 May 1992 21:43:42 EDT
Sender: SUNY/Stony Brook Literary Underground<SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>
From: Juniper Sage <CHEATING >
Subject: Re: comprehensible for summer O commemorate me where there are
ice-cubes
In-Reply-To: Message of Thu,
14 May 1992 21:29:00 GMT from <H.UNIATZ>
> When I die (soon) of Overexposure to Heat, or of
> Sun-stroke, or of Spontaneous Combustion, or of
> Boiling of the Blood, I would like a simple
> stone memorial in a COLD PLACE.
Most certainly arranged, strangler; Hope has already addressed your
problem with her usual finesse and vivace. Might I inquire as to when,
approximately, we might expect this to happen? Since I would imagine
that, in the end, you'll be entombed in Ire, I thought I might take a
sightseeing detour on my visit to see my father, the Bishop of Galway.
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